Stocking the Writer's IMAGINATION

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Fixing WRITER'S BLOCK

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I want to SEE the Story, Damn it! ~ A RANT! ~Put DESCRIPTION in your Fiction!

How would you write what is happening in this picture?
 

How would you convey the actions?
- The characters?
- The setting?
- The mood?
(Go ahead and jot something down.)

WARNING! INCOMING RANT!!!

I want to SEE the Story ~ Damn it!!!

 

Frustration is a BAD thing to generate in your readers. Books that frustrate; poor grammar, limp dialogue, wishy-washy action, weak description, over-blown description...etc. are tossed against a wall. 

 

The technical term is: Wall-Banger.

My BIGGEST Pet Peeve:
Description-less Fiction.

 

I utterly loathe reading a book where everything happens in a colorless vacuum. You don't know where they are, you don't know what they're doing, you don't know what the Characters look like! I despise a book where I can’t see anything, or worse can see only bits of what's going on.

How the heck am I supposed to imagine the scene like a movie in my head without knowing what stuff looks like?

In far too many Erotic Romance books it's worse. The sex is detailed but the rest of the story is barely sketched out. If they’re gonna go into that much detail in the sex they should do the same for the rest of the damned story!

For example, you get a nice juicy sex scene and some sprightly dialogue but then you get:

‘…she went into the kitchen and got a glass of water.’

Then the dialogue starts back up again without bothering to even mention that she came out of the damned kitchen! WITHOUT a SCENE BREAK! Right in the middle of the damned paragraph without skipping a beat! Hell, it's done right in the middle of the damned dialogue!

It's just ASSUMED that reader KNOWS that she’s not in the kitchen any more. Then once you figure out: "Oh wait, she's NOT in the kitchen any more...!" You have to GUESS how she did it!

HELLO!!!
If you have to GUESS How the character got
From position A ~ To position B
You've been TOLD - Not SHOWN.

SHOW ME - Damn It!

 

By the time I got to the end of that book, I knew she had a living room, a bedroom and a kitchen, but I still didn't know if she lived in a House a Condo or an Apartment! And I didn't know what was in her house other than a couch in the living room and a bed in the bedroom! 

 

I read it because the sex-scenes were good, but there was No Other Reason to read the damned book.

It was obvious from the sex scenes that the author knew how to write descriptive details, but it was like she decided to be lazy! That it didn't matter as long as the sex was good. 

 

Well, she was WRONG, and damn it, I felt CHEATED!

 

Sid from Toy Story

 

No Description = No CHARACTER!

 

When you were a kid, the first thing you did with a new friend was check out their bedroom.

Why?

Think a minute, seriously. Why did you want to check out the other kid's room?

To see what kinds of cool toys they had sure, but also, to find out what kind of kid you were playing with. The kinds of toys and pictures in their room told you what kind of personality they had, it gave away their base character.

In the movie Toy Story, think about the room the kid Sid had. 

 

How much of Sid's character was in his bedroom?
 

ALL OF IT.

Now, why would anyone leave such a gold-mine of character information --their Home, their Clothes, their Stuff-- out of the story?

I dunno, but it happens all the damned time.

There is way, way too much Telling instead of Showing going on in the fiction I’m reading.

 

Too many stories read like a TV show with the picture too snowy to see anything clearly. Where the heck are they? What are they doing? How are they doing it? Gimme some Details! Gimme some color and textures! Some sounds! Some flavors! Some aromas!

Gimme some DESCRIPTION! 

But...! But...! But...!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Descriptive detail, like any other element of fiction, should be present ONLY to develop character or advance plot. Too much leads to excessive wordiness, which in turn kills the pacing. It's not necessary to include details the reader can be expected to assume because they are normal life events. So, someone going to the kitchen to get a glass of water would be expected to return when she was finished, and that information isn't necessary. If the next part is dialogue between hero and heroine, her return is simply accepted."
-- A well-meaning and very nice editor.

Bullshit.
 

If she went to the kitchen in the fist place it SHOULD BE forwarding the plot. If getting that glass of water isn't an element of either "what has happened", "what is happening" or "what will happen" - she should have never gone into the kitchen. BUT if that glass of water is important, so is her trip to the kitchen to get it. Therefore, it should be SHOWN instead of TOLD.

ANYTHING that isn’t necessary to tell the story
DOESN'T BELONG in the story!
If it CAN be pulled out - it SHOULD be pulled out.

If it's Important enough to be Mentioned
It's Important enough to be DETAILED.

Harrumph!

Now, on to how to FIX this insidious problem.

 

"A picture is worth a thousand words."

 

Unless you are writing kiddie books, you Don't Have a picture beyond the book cover, you have only Words to illustrate your story. 

 

USE those Freaking Words! You don't need the whole thousand words to give me the picture, but SOME would be nice. Damn it!

If you want to write Fiction with clarity, VISUALIZE what is happening in your head. Play the scene out in your imagination and view it, just like a movie. If it shows up in your mind's eye - it belongs on the page. Okay?

Descriptive ASSUMPTIONS.

 

Normally, description-less fiction is Not what the writer intended. Usually it's a case of Oversight, an Assumption. The writer saw the scene in their head and jotted down a few cues that would trigger the picture that they envisioned, and ASSUMED everyone reading those phrases would see what they saw. 

 

Guess what? They DIDN'T.

The Reader always sees what THEY want to see
- unless you SHOW them something else.

• They fucked, and it was glorious.

 

I can guarantee that no two readers (or writers) saw what I envisioned when I wrote those words.

The Writer's job is to SHOW the fucking and Convince the reader that it was glorious without actually Telling them. You have to Seduce the reader into getting all hot and bothered, so they come out of the book thinking; "Wow that turned me on so much... It must have been glorious!"

You Don't need blocks of descriptive text to get your point across, but the reader Cannot See what the writer is trying to show them --pictures or feelings-- without descriptive cues, preferably Sneaky descriptive cues.

Yes, I said Sneaky, and I'll say it again:

SNEAKY Descriptive Cues.

No one likes to be pummeled. We prefer to be, enticed, tempted and seduced - not assaulted. A handful of well-placed descriptive words sprinkled here and there, really enriches an otherwise blank blue-screen imagination -- without beating the reader over the head.

The Tricks to
Tight SNEAKY Description 

Avoid Simple Words:
 

The door, the car, the tree, the house... Write instead: The French doors, the Subaru, the oak, the Victorian cottage. See how using a Specific Noun automatically pops in description?

Adjectives are your Friend!
 

Adjectives give your objects and locations emotional flavor and impact. The trick is not to over-do it! Moderation - moderation - moderation.

One adjective per Noun:

In addition to a specific Noun. The ornate French tapestry, the rusty Subaru, the yellow Victorian cottage.

Two adjectives per Sensation:

Sight, Sound, Taste, Texture, Scent - are all perceived through the senses. The glaringly red French doors, the seductively throbbing jazz, the creamy bite of yogurt, the nubby white dishcloth, the pungent musk of wet dog.

The Not-So Dreaded -ly Words.

 

Every once in a while you will hear someone whine that "you shouldn't use words that end in -ly". The "No -ly words!" whiners are usually the same people that say: "Don't use Adjectives!" Think People! How the heck are you supposed to describe something without adjectives? You CAN'T.

The "No -ly Words" rule does not apply to Fiction.

 

This rule comes from Basic School Grammar; grammar that was intended for NON-fiction, such as Reports and other boring description-less, education-related, or business-related writing. On the other hand, Fiction THRIVES on description!

Still Feeling Guilty?
 

If you can find another word that says the same thing without ending in -ly, use it. If you can't, then use what you have and DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

Making the Reader FEEL the Passion.

Sensually-Descriptive & Erotically-charged Words
- The key to EROTICA and Romance.

 

If the words you choose implies a Physical Sense - sound, flavor, color, texture, aroma - you're halfway there!

So, where do you get the rest of them there what's-it words? From Trained Professionals: Other Writers.

I pulled out my favorite trashy novels and hunted down phrases that really caught my attention, and then I made a list.

salacious humor
carnal gratification
languorous bliss
shrieking culmination
disconcerting stimulation
brutal carnal rapture
exquisite torment
lustful cravings
irresolute yearning
skittish laughter

I also dug through my thesaurus and made another list of all the adjectives I use over and over and over...

MY Erotic Thesaurus

Okay you got your words! Now...

How & Where do you PUT all that stuff?

Rule of thumb:

The moment the character lays eyes on it DESCRIBE IT! 

Picture the scene in your head like a movie. If it shows up in your scene - it belongs on the page.

OTHER Rule of Thumb:

Description should always reflect the opinion of the viewpoint character.

Oscar the Grouch is not going to see - or describe - a field of roses the same way as Big Bird.

People
 

People get three whole sentences max. If you need more than that, thread the rest in with the dialogue. Think of how you see characters in a movie. THAT'S how you describe the people your character sees. 

 

Start at the top and describe down. Bottom to Top description implies that the brain and personality is of no importance, only the body. Guys checking out a girl when they're looking for a fuck look at her from bottom to top.

Scene Changes
 

Every new scene should open with a snapshot of description that details the stage the action is about to happen in. No more than 60 words max. If you need more than that to describe your setting - splice it into your Action.

Fantasy and Sci-Fi require more description.

 

Preferably rich and detailed - because in Fantasy and Sci-Fi, the Setting is just as important as Character and Action. The snapshot at the beginning of every scene is still the same length (60 words) - but you have to continue to add more description as the characters move through the world.

Location Changes
 

Every time the scenery changes: every new room, every new view, every new place they arrive at - gets described; so the reader can see it, and experience it too. New locations get 30 words max, because that's about how much the average person can catch in a single look. The rest of the details should be mixed in between the actions and dialogue as the character gets a better look around.

Describing the Viewpoint Character - Yes or No?

 
YES - DAMN IT! I wanna know who's head I'm in - as Soon as I'm in that head!

Viewpoint Characters only get three sentences just like any other person in the story. NO MIRRORS! Mirrors have been done to death. There are lots of ways to describe your viewpoint charater without resorting to a MIRROR - Use one. Not sure how to do it? Go get your favorite books and highlight the sections where the viewpoint character is described. Figure out how they did it, and do that.

DESCRIPTION

NOT just for pretty Pictures.

WARNING! ~ Missing descriptive cues can cause: Author Angst!

 
Once upon a time, when I was a beginning writer of smut, I wrote what I thought was a kick ass, totally serious, "World of Grim Darkness" werewolf erotica. I had a right to think the story kicked ass. I got a lot of messages telling me so.

Then, one day...

I got a lovely letter gushing on how much they liked my story. It was so funny! They went into detail explaining exactly how pleased they were, and how witty my story was in so many places - but I hadn't ended it right. Where was the punch line?

The PUNCH LINE???

Yes, fellow writers, my serious "World of Grim Darkness" werewolf erotica had been completely misinterpreted as an erotic Comedy!

Talk about your total author disillusionment.

This misinterpretation happened because I had written strong sarcastic dialogue, a trademark in all my stories, but I had left too many other cues out. It was not apparent at all to this reader that my characters were speaking sarcastically - counter to their true feelings.

I didn't have enough of the POV character's feelings displayed through inner dialogue and body-language cues for the reader to pick up what I was really trying to show.

According to my current fan letters, I Don't make that mistake any more.

DESCRIPTION.
- It really is the Only way to get what you envision across to the reader.

TEST TIME!!!
- Now - how would you describe that picture at the top of the page? Can you make me FEEL the Passion?


Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Literary Light Bulbs

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Personal Fulfillment ~ As a Writer

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Writing Serialized Fiction ~ Not just another Novel Idea

“Writing a serial in Chapter form is a Mistake. Should the readers miss the first few chapters, the readers become debarred from the tale. A serial should be written without seeming to be one -- with each installment standing alone, retaining a connecting link by means of the leading characters.”
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

A Serial is Not a chopped up Novel!

I hear it time and time again:

"If the Story is too big, why don't you just cut it up into a Serialized Novel?"

You can't just cut a Novel in half or into bite-sized chapter-ized pieces because a true serial "episode" is its own complete SHORT story -- within a larger story.

Individual Stories?

A whole story is good for Repeat Business. An entire story that promises more adventures encourages the need to see/read the next story. A whole story --no matter how short-- is more likely to catch the attention of new readers or viewers than a random hunk from the middle of a longer work.

The difference between a Novel and a Serialized Novel is:
The Plot Structure.

A Novel only has One main plot-line.

A typical novel has ONE Plot (action-driven) Arc -- the chain of events that happen while the characters make other plans, and ONE Character (emotion-driven) Arc for each of the main characters: the Protagonist, the Antagonist and the Side-Kick. (The Hero, the Heroine & the Villain.)

The overall story usually focuses on one main character's view of events while hinting at the other main characters' stories.

A Romance novel typically has either TWO Plot/Character Arcs: one for the Heroine, and one for the Hero, or THREE: One for the Hero, one for the Heroine, and one for the Villain. 

Traditionally, the main plot-line focuses on the Heroine and uses strictly her viewpoint. I have, however, read some excellent books that focused on the viewpoint of the hero or divided the book equally between the hero and the heroine.

Epic novels have way more than just the three main characters, (hero, heroine, villain.) Those tend to have multiple strong subplots populated with their own three main characters, and  are pretty much their own separate stories--all crammed under one cover, and those books are HUGE. 

Steven King tends to write Epics. He typically has one over-all plot-line PLUS separate plot/character arcs for at least three characters in each of his books; which amounts to a whole story for each character. He simply alternates between characters at chapter breaks. This of course, increases the size of the story. Instead of one main story, Mr. King has has three or more smaller stories all connected by the same events (Plot Arc) under one cover.

A Serialized Novel has at least Two whole plot-lines happening at any given time - plus a story.

A Comic book series, a TV series and an Anime series are traditionally divided by progressive Seasons with 12 to 24 episodes per (seasonal) plot-line.

Each new issue or episode opens with an intro to all the main characters (usually done via the credits,) then focuses briefly on that episode's protagonist in the opening sequence right before the commercial.

The story then dives into the action, which is either a piece of one of the subplots (with hints at the over-all plot) or a piece of the overall plot (with hints at one --or more-- of the sub-plots). Ideally, each character in a serial --including the villain-- has their own subplot story going on during the main plot.

At the same time, each individual episode is an entire story all by itself. And every episodic plot arc dovetails into every other episodic plot arc making a single cohesive whole.

The trick to lots of serial episodes, is to switch between the characters so that each has a chance to tell their own story -- one whole episode focusing on that one character.

The Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series had PLENTY of character to play with, and then some. Buffy had her Watcher, Angel, Willow and Xander, just to scratch the surface. Spike, the main villain, had Drusilla or some other support vampire.

In Batman, Batman always had Robin and Alfred. Batman’s weekly villain always had at least one close partner that eventually betrayed them. (You get the idea.)

With 4 to 6 major point-of-view characters including the villain, plus the viewpoint of one or two of the support characters that are seen fairly regularly - that's a LOT of Story.

Buffy's plot-line looks something like this: 

The Master Plot Arc for the whole series.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer - slays vampires to save the world.

The Master Sub-plot Arc for a season.

In Buffy's Junior year in high school, she tries to balance school, her friends, her night-time objective (slaying vampires) and her new boyfriend - who happens to be a vampire - plus deal with the new bad-guys in town, Spike & Drusilla. Oh, and there's a new Vampire Slayer in town.

The Plot/Character Arc for an individual episode - with its own character arc and plot arc.

Buffy wants to go to the Junior Prom - but can't find an appropriate date. (Her vampire boyfriend is not an option.) Meanwhile, things are heating up between Xander and Willow - and Spike is up to something, as usual. 

Interested in excruciating the details of the Buffy Plotline? 

Where do all those Extra Characters come from?

The longer a series runs, the more ‘story’ is needed, so more characters are added.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer started out with 4 major good guys, and 1 major bad guy with other minor good-guys, and bad-guys, wandering through the main plot-line. The last episode in the season’s close, brought all the main characters together for one big, final climactic scene. A few characters were lost in the finale so the next season could start with new characters.

Season 2 added Angel to the good guys side, and the bad-guys changed completely over to a brand new main villain; Spike, with new Guest villains every few episodes.

Each successive season of Buffy killed off characters then added new characters.

Why? Because they needed more story.

Serials Vs. Series

The Serial and the Series share some of the same characteristics, with one major difference – PLOT CONCLUSION. 

• A Series completes ALL the subplots featured in that one book.
• A Serial completes ONE major plot-line, while hinting at other sub-plots.

In a nutshell:

A Series--is a group of stand-alone stories that happen in a common universe.

A Serial--is a group of interlinked stories within a larger story.

TV Series...or are they?

The “Babylon 5" series had one massive over-all plot arc divided into seasonal plot arcs, divided into individual but connecting episodes that all added up to One Whole Story.
“Babylon 5" was a true Serial.

"FarScape" had a very thin master plot arc with strong seasonal plot arcs made up of episodes that added up to one Seasonal Story. "FarScape" was a series of serials.

The original "Star Trek" did not have an over-all plot arc of any kind, merely episodes that could be viewed in any random order. "Star Trek" was a true series.

"Star Trek-Next Generation" had thin seasonal plot arcs with the occasional story that was more than one episode long. "ST-Next Gen" was a series with a few serialized episodes.

But each and every episode for ALL of these programs was a Complete Individual Story.

"No, you Can't just cut a Novel into a Serialized Story!"

In order to create a serialized novel, the story must be 

crafted to be a serial from the beginning.

• Each episode should be an individual story with a beginning, a middle, and an end under a single overall plotline to hold it together.
• Each episode represents a separate adventure - for your main character (like a comic book) or a separate adventure that focuses on any one of your characters (like a TV or Anime series), but each installment must be an entire story all by themselves.
• To tie the episodes together into a cohesive whole, each successive episode should either answer a Master Plot question - or answer an earlier Master Plot question. The key here is subtlety.
• To wrap up a season or the entire series, the serial climax brings all the characters together then ends with a final episode where the main character deals with the main villain in a grand finale.

The Plot - Thins: (In Short)

A Novel -- One whole story with one cast of characters.

A Series -- A group of complete stand-alone stories all in the same universe with one cast of characters per story.

A Serial--A group of stories all interlinked with each other, that create one big (ongoing) story. A serial normally has one main cast of characters, though the cast tends to grow as the serial grows. A long-running serial is often divided into "seasonal" plot arcs.

In Conclusion…

The plot arc for a single title novel just isn't complex enough to be cut into a serial without major work. An ordinary novel just doesn’t have what it takes (plot-wise) to live up to a serial’s standards.

A Premise is NOT a CONCEPT! ~ A small Rant

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Making ROMANCE

From TRUST to Intimacy

People talk about how hard it is to write Sex. Romance, is actually far more difficult. Sex is simply a squence of ACTIONS: "He did this, she reacted, and then did this in return...etc.” Romance, on the other hand, is a psychologically based sequence of actions for gaining Trust.

On TRUST and the Alpha Hero ~ in ROMANCE
By Angela Knight

In a romance, a great deal of the conflict revolves around trust issues.

• Can I trust this person not to hurt me?
• Can I trust him with the most delicate parts of myself; emotionally and sexually?
• Can I trust him to love me?”

So for reasons of the greatest drama, in romance we want a guy who is manifestly NOT trustworthy; a womanizing alpha male, a vampire, a werewolf. Because when the heroine trusts this guy anyway, the risk is that much greater, and the stakes she’s playing for are that much higher.

That’s why you see so many arrogant alpha male heroes – because they come with built-in conflicts. And that’s why in the 80s, the heroes were so often outright rapists and abusers; they were not trustworthy, in any way, shape, or form. They had to learn to become trustworthy to make themselves worthy of the heroine.

Paradoxically, in today’s romances we want heroes who really are heroes from page one. The heroine may doubt whether this guy is trustworthy, and he may seem NOT to be (because he’s a vampire, a werewolf, or an alpha male asshole) — but the writer must reassure the reader right up front that the guy IS a hero, and he can be trusted.

Because otherwise, the heroine is an IDIOT for trusting him, and the reader is not going to want to get into the skin of an idiot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Posted with Permission

Caution!
Someone skilled in the Arts of Romance
is NOT necessarily demonstrating Love!

Romance:

A manipulation technique designed to make someone receptive to Sex.
The motive behind Romance is LUST.

Love:

When someone's happiness means more than your own.
The motive behind Love is AFFECTION.

To many people, Romance means 'showing love'. That's not true. You show love by protecting the ones you care for with the intent to ensure their lasting happiness. That doesn't necessarily mean that you're nice to them.

Romance is about being nice to the point that they'll let you have sex with them.

Make sure you SHOW the difference!

MAKING Romance in FICTION!
The Ritual of: "May I...?"

So, how do we make it known that a hero is Trustworthy without STATING it? We use BODY LANGUAGE. We SHOW, through the use of the psychological cues of actual Romance.

Basically, we apply the same Dating rules that we follow in real life – how we know when a guy is actually worth trusting enough to kiss -- to our fiction.

Romance is a ritual dance of Query / Answer on the path toward Intimacy. An interested party makes a Query, they hold out their hand. If the other party grasps that hand voluntarily, then they have Answered in the positive and the next Query, the next step toward Intimacy may be presented. Each positive answer received implies that a request for more intimate contact may also be accepted.

Defining the Twelve Stages of Intimacy

(Derived from a presentation by Linda Howard)

1. Eye to body. "What have we here?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He sees her, she sees him. If she turns toward him, in even a small amount, that is his cue that he may approach.

2. Eye to Eye. "I find you interesting."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He looks at her. She looks at him. If she smiles, this is his cue that he may speak to her and introduce himself. If he stares too long without speaking, he implies that she is an object being assessed for use. If she perceives this she may turn away to deny continuing contact.

3. Voice to Voice. "I'd like to know you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He introduces himself. If she responds with a smile and friendly conversation, then he is well on his way to closer contact.

4. Hand to Hand. "I like you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First contact. He holds out his hand. If she accepts his hand and smiles, she has given permission to take the next step.

5. Arm to Shoulder. "May I touch you?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First Body to Body contact. He sits or stands next to her. If she stays close, he may proceed to put his arm around her shoulders. If she moves away, then he must go back to Stage 3 to establish trust.

6. Arm to Waist. "May I have you?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Placing his arm around her waist is a potent and very important step. All contact beyond this point is Sexual in nature. Arm to waist contact is also a territorial signal to others that this person is Taken. It is at this point that she decides if she wants to be intimate with him – but she does NOT let him know this.

7. Mouth to Mouth. "This is how I intend to treat you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The kiss. First sexual contact. How someone kisses implies how they intend to make love. It is not unusual for a Heroine to flee after a kiss that is too controlling or possessive. If this happens, he will need to retreat all the way back to Stage 3 to rebuild trust.

8. Hand to Head. "Will you trust me?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He touches her hair, her face, her mouth with his fingers. If she allows this, she is giving her ultimate trust. Grasping the hair and/or the face gives the holder complete control. If he has a tight enough hold, she will not be able to escape without a fight and possibly harm. By allowing this contact, she gives permission to allow all other hand contact with her body.

9. Hand to Torso. "I want more..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heavy petting normally begins with the clothing still on. The intent is to excite her into voluntarily opening her clothes and exposing her skin for more intimate contact. If he starts at the top of her body, head, neck, shoulder, breast, stomach…etc. stroking her as one would a pet, then he shows an acceptable level of affection. If he immediately digs under her clothes to grab her, BEFORE full intimacy has been established, she will assume he sees her as an object he intends to use and throw away.

This is the point where most rapes begin, so females tend to be hyper-aware of their partner's actions during this stage. If she is not 100% comfortable with his actions, she will immediately withdraw. If he reacts with anger, she'll assume that she is in danger and seek to escape using any means possible, after which she will refuse all future contact, ending the relationship. She may also report to every female she knows that he is dangerous.

10. Mouth to Torso. "I hunger for you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He kisses her throat, her shoulder, and any other exposed skin. Acceptance of mouth to skin contact implies extreme trust. The mouth is the most dangerous part of the body; it contains the teeth. This is where all remaining clothing is removed and full skin to skin contact begins.

She must be the first to open her clothing to him before any further contact can be made. If he takes the initiative and removes his clothes without her first having opened something to him, then he implies that he is not interested in her readiness, he is there for his pleasure, not hers. If she perceives this, she will immediately withdraw and possibly refuse all future contact, ending the relationship. She may also report to every female she knows that he an extremely selfish lover.

11. Hand to Genitals. "Are you ready for me?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His hands explore her intimately. His explorations are to insure that she is ready for full sexual possession. (Are her nipples hard? Is she wet?) If she is not ready, he will use his hands and mouth to stir her passions, insuring that she is eager to welcome him and will enjoy what they are about to share.

Taking someone when they are not ready is not only painful, it destroys all trust. Should this happen, she will immediately seek to escape using any means possible, after which she will refuse all future contact, ending the relationship. She may also report to every female she knows that he an extremely poor lover.

12. Genitals to Genitals. "You are mine."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Full sexual contact implies ownership on a primal level. Once full sexual contact is gained, both partners assume that they may have it again at any time. Making Love implies a relationship. Having Sex implies a diversion, a form of entertainment on the level of a video game. With this one act, she knows for certain if he sees her as a potential life partner, or merely a form of entertainment to be tossed away when a new game comes along.

In FICTION,
the Sexual Act is a metaphor for 

a Relationship’s Emotional Progress.
In REALITY,
Good Sex Does NOT equal Trustworthy.

These stages are based on the actual rules of courtship, but these stages are meant for fiction. In the real world, someone that cares whether or not the female reaches climax is NO GUARANTEE that he cares beyond ensuring that she will allow sex a second time.

Real Life doesn’t make sense – Fiction Must.

A Note on Female Costume & Intimacy

The skin exposed, while fully dressed, advertises exactly how fast one is willing to proceed from Skin Contact to Sex.

A female in a low-cut but full-skirted gown states that she will allow some kissing contact (stage 8) but sex must still be negotiated.

A female in a floor length gown that exposes her entire back to the hips is stating that the man who gains permission to put his arm around her, (stage 6) will be allowed sex.

A female wearing very little, short skirt or skin-tight pants, a short top that exposes belly and/or back...etc., is advertising that she will allow sex to the man that gains hand contact, (stage 4).

A female in a skin-tight body suit is perceived as nude, even if the suit covers her from ankle to throat, as there is no impediment to immediate intimate contact. Sustained eye contact (stage 2) is considered a direct invitation to sex.

Color choice is also a factor in readiness for Sexual Contact. Light colors and pastels signal innocence. Bright colors and colorful prints signal playfulness. Dark jewel tones and satin, signal interest but caution. Animal prints, leather, dark velvets, and fur are a sign of sexual aggression.

The Ritual of Male & Female

The stages of Intimacy are fluid. Steps can be rushed, one right after the other, and some may even be skipped. However, skipped steps imply a lack of respect. Skipped steps can also imply a need to Control. These warning signs may not be understood consciously, but be rest assured, subconsciously the other party is well aware of what's going on.

Example:
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She meets a suitable young man. They are introduced and he immediately goes to hug her without bothering to offer his hand or speak with her personally. She may not feel that she has a reason to turn him down and so may allow the full-frontal contact. After that, she will refuse to be alone with him; in fact she may avoid him altogether, likely for the rest of the night. She may not even realize she's avoiding him, but she will avoid him none the less.

Why? Because whether she is aware of it or not, his rush into close physical contact removed all trust.

If the young man is wise, he will find her, hold out his hand and begin again, all the way back to a full reintroduction, preferably with an apology inserted somewhere.

If he does not, she will continue to avoid him. She will continue to feel uncomfortable, unsafe and 'pressured' by him. She will continue to feel that because she allowed 'full frontal contact' he will expect the Next Step in the Dance of Intimacy: a Kiss.

Respect is a Two-Way street.

When a female decides to break the order and jump steps with a potential partner, this tells him that he does NOT have to respect her personal boundaries because she has violated His.

A female that spontaneously kisses a man on the mouth when she does not already know him intimately shows an extreme lack of respect toward him. She is in effect, treating him like an object to be used. This gives him permission to use her any way he cares to, even to the point of taking her right there because her lack of respect for him has removed the need for him to treat her with respect.

In Conclusion…

The steps in the Ritual of Intimacy allow potential lovers the chance to demonstrate respect for each others' personal boundaries and encourage Trust to build between them.

Without TRUST between both parties

 - Love cannot happen.

Without TRUST between both parties

 - Love SHOULD NOT happen.

Enjoy!

Morgan Hawke

www.darkerotica.net

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