Writing ACTION 1: Action Scenes that Work

 

The Trick to Writing Action Scenes that Work:
Action THEN Reaction!

The #1 Most Common cause of Confusion in Action Scenes?
Putting the Reaction BEFORE the Action that caused it.

WARNING! This tutorial is NOT meant for those do Creative Writing.

This essay was originally written for writers seeking to be professionally published authors. As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.

If you are new to my tutorials, please read this one first:
The Secret to Proper Paragraphing and Dialogue
Certain things covered in this tutorial are based on that information.

Why is Action THEN Reaction so Important? ​

The flash of pain exploded in my cheek from the slap her hand lashed out at me.

WRONG!

Why is this Wrong?
-- If you were watching this scene as a movie, that sentence is NOT how you would have seen it happen.

Actual Sequence of events:
1) Her hand lashed out at me in a slap. [Action]
2) A flash of pain exploded in my cheek [Reaction]

ACTION Sequences = Chronological Order​

Chronological Order --the order in which things actually happen-- is the ONLY way to write an Action Scene that won't confuse your readers. If you visualize the characters doing something in a specific order – you write it in THAT order.

REALITY =
Something random happens to you then…you react. 
- in Chronological order​

Action –> Reaction 

 

Dialogue and Action:
Which comes first?

ACTION.

Too many inexperienced writers put all their Dialogue at the beginning of their paragraphs -- before the action that caused that dialogue to happen.

The truth is, Dialogue belongs in the sentence when it happened; before the action, during the action, or after the action.

However...!

The finger pulls the trigger THEN the shooter wonders: “Oh no, what have I done?”​

Realistically, physical actions usually happen BEFORE dialogue. Most people ACT then comment because physical reactions normally happen faster than thought. Ask any cop or martial artist.

This Does Not mean that thoughts or dialogue don't happen before the gun or fist is raised and pointed! Bad-mouthing and instigation is usually how fights start to begin with. 

 

However, the human body has a habit of...jumping the gun -- reacting before the thought of doing said Action is even fully formed, especially if they are martially trained.​

Thoughts that come first FREEZE physical action. Not in the literary sense, for real. Most people stop whatever action they are doing, they pause to speak.

Fiction works exactly the same way.

FICTION =
The Plot happens to the characters then…they react.
- in Chronological order​

Action –> Reaction

1 - Something happened TO the character, (the Action.)
2 - The character feels the Physical Sensation - the effects of the Action, (the reaction.)
3 - THEN they have a thought and/or comment about what had just happened, (an Action.)
4 - THEN they DO something about it, (their Reaction.)

WRONG:

The flash of pain exploded in my cheek [Reaction] as the slap her hand lashed out at me. [Action]​

RIGHT:

Her hand lashed out in a slap [action].​

​

My cheek exploded with a flash of pain. [reaction]. “Ow!” [dialogue/action] I balled my hand into a fist and swung for her face. [reaction]​

(Stupid gif won't load. Click image to see Action!)

Why did I break that sequence into Two lines? ​

Because each character gets their own paragraph for their actions.

Why?

For exactly the same reason you separate each character's dialogue into two paragraphs. Dialogue is an Action.

And while we're on the subject, leave the Dialogue ATTACHED to that character's Actions! This way you never need to use dialogue tags such as 'he said' or 'she said' to identify who is speaking. The Actions do that for you.

Back to the topic...

Violating chronological order is a Bad Idea. If you knock the Actions out of order the reader’s Mental Movie STOPS because the reader has to STOP READING to Re-Read that sequence and mentally rearrange the sentences in into the correct order to get the movie back.

Making the story hard for the reader to PICTURE
-- is a VERY Bad Idea. ​

Anytime the reader has to STOP to rearrange the words to FIT their mental movie, you’ve made a break. Breaks are BAD – very, very bad! A break creates a moment where the reader can STOP READING your story, and start reading something else -- and possibly never look at your work again.

A lot of writers hesitate to break up the actions between characters because written chronological action and dialogue tends to look very choppy on the page. It doesn't look neat and tidy

Neat and tidy be damned!​

Who cares how the words are arranged on the page? Once the reader has their Mental Movie rolling the reader won’t even notice the specific words. They’ll be too busy watching the scenes playing out in their mental movie to care what they're reading.

Screw aesthetics! Your first priority is keeping that reader reading. That means keeping their Mental Movie going without interruptions!

How to FIX this chronic problem:​

VISUALIZE your scenes as you write them. Play them as a movie in your head and write everything down EXACTLY as you see it. If it comes out in a pile of one short sentence after another, then add some smart-assed internal comments and/or dialogue.

Just remember to keep the character's dialogue connected to their actions.

Don't Forget: Dialogue is an Action too!

What about Literary style?​

What about it?

If you simply MUST have stylish phrasing in your fiction, save it for the descriptions. Keep it out of the Actions!

If you want the reader to SEE the actions that you are trying to portray, Chronological Order is the ONLY way to make Action Scenes crystal clear in their imaginations.

-------- Original Message -----------​

"I can't write an action/fight scene worth a crap. Mind you, I can usually imagine them, I just can't write them." ​

-- Wanna Do a Fight Scene. ​

If you can imagine it - you can write it. The easiest way is by doing it in LAYERS.

A Quick and Dirty Method:
Writing Action Scenes in Layers

Start with a List of ACTIONS
and their following REACTIONS.

Don’t Forget! ~ Actions ALWAYS go Before Reactions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
List of ACTIONS 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- IMPORTANT! Each Character gets their own paragraph. NEVER clump the separate actions of two different characters in the same paragraph or the reader will get confused as to who is doing what very quickly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

​Will lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.​​ 

 

Jack caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab.​​

 

Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. 

 

​​Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target.​ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Add DIALOGUE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

​

"You're dead meat!" Will lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.​

​

Jack caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. "I don't think so!"​​ 

 

Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!"​​ 

 

Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. "You're gonna have to do a lot better than that."​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Add EMOTION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

​

"You're dead meat!" Will bared his teeth and lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.​​

 

Jack snorted in derision and caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. He smiled. "I don't think so!" 

 

​​Startled, Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!" 

 

​​Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. He chuckled. "You're gonna have to do a lot better than that."​ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Add INTERNAL NARRATION. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Pick ONE character in that scene and add only THAT character's internal observations -- no others! (More than one POV in a scene is known as HEAD-HOPPING.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

​

"You're dead meat!" Will bared his teeth and lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.​

​

Jack snorted in derision and caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" The kid certainly had guts. Too bad he didn't have the skill to go with it. Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. He smiled. "I don't think so!"​

​

Startled, Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!"​

​

Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. He chuckled, knowing it would piss the kid off. "You're gonna have to do a lot better than that." He was hoping the kid would figure out that he was out-matched and just bolt. He didn't like killing those that didn't actually deserve to die.​

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seriously, if you can imagine it - you can write it.

Having problems imagining it?
- Watch a few MOVIES.


Morgan Hawke ☕
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Making Magic 1 - A History of Magic?

Making MAGIC

For your Fiction

NOT for LitRPG novelists!

If you are a LitRPG writer, and you're trying to make a numerical leveling System for your fantasy story, please refer to: Dungeons and Dragons role-playing game. The Dungeon Master's Handbook, specifically. After all, that's where LitRPG came from.

 

Also see:

 Making MAGIC 2 
Writing Magical Battles

 

☕ 

So you want to have Magic in your brand new fictional Fantasy world?

Alright then, lets start with a few simple World-Building questions, so you have some idea of what you're in for-- I mean some idea of what you're going to need to know to make your new world feel solid and logical to your Readers. 

How does Magic

Affect Your Fantasy World?

 

If you're a writer planning to use Magic in your world, here are a few things to ask yourself while you world-build. 

 

What are they using Magic for?

If Magic is in common use, are they using it to make War or Peace? Are they cooking their food with it? Storing their valuables with it? Building castles with it? Traveling across great distances, or only short hops from town to town? Do they have horseless carriages? Flying ships? Are they communicating across distances with it as commonly as we do with our cell phones? -

Or is it not in common use? If not, then what are they doing with their Magic? Are these magical people in hiding, or protected by the government? Are they gathered in special enclaves, or living scattered among everyone else?

 Who has Magic?

 

Does everyone have Magic, or only a special few? Why would only the special few have it? Were some born with the talent for it, rather like an Artist? Is it something anyone can develop as long as they have proper instructions, like an athlete? Is it something only a few families pass down through their genetic lines?  Is there a special substance that must be grafted onto the body to allow one to use Magic, such as a magical runic tattoo? Does one need a special artifact from a bygone age, or has technology finally developed enough to create a specific tool to access Magic? Does it take a super secret special ritual to awaken one's Magic?

 

What powers Magic?

Where does the ability to use Magic come from? Is it granted as a favor from Spirits? An endowment from Gods? Can one gain Magic from an elixir you eat or drink? Is it generated by an organ such as a Magical Core? Is it an aether that fills the atmosphere that one has to learn to collect, like in Cultivation novels? Is it a power that's already there that one must learn to Feel, like the Force? Oh wait, Cultivation novels use that one too.

 

How do people learn to use Magic?

 

Magic can be very dangerous to both the practitioner and the unaware people around them, if handled incorrectly. So, how does one learn to Control it? Do people have to go to schools to learn how to use Magic? Are the skills passed down through apprenticeship under an experienced practitioner? Does one learn to use Magic from the Gods or Spirits themselves? From dreams? Can someone learn to use Magic by complete accident? 

 

Has your world always had access to Magic,
or is it a new development?

When and where did the use of Magic start? Did a meteor hit the planet and just...irradiate people with Magic? Did some wellspring of pure Magic from the Soul of the World erupt to spray magic into the air like a geyser? Did someone just wish Magic to happen, and it did? Did some strange traveler come and bless certain individuals with Magic?

If Magic isn't a sudden new development, how long people have been using it? Are there a few famous practitioners? What kind of History does your Magic have?

What kind of Spiritual Background are you using for your brand of Magic? 

 

This is Not a trick question. You are basing your fantasy Magic on some form of real Magical/Spiritual practice, right? You're not trying to create a whole Magical doctrine from pure Make-Believe, or worse: relying on Dungeons and Dragons for your Magic, right? 

 

Surely you don't plan to rely on Make-Believe to create your own History of Magic from scratch?! 

 

In the beginning, the spirits said, "Let there be MAGIC...!" And it was good. 

 

Writing a History of MAGIC?

Can be more Headache than it's worth.

----- Original Message -----
...How am I supposed to explain how magic has evolved over [1000] years from singing and chanting spells to automatically using magic circles to unleash devastating spells? Like how did people discover drawing circles in the air with magic text inscribed in them was better than singing your lungs out?

-- Concerned Fantasy Writer.

Making up a full (fictional) History of Magic, or even a partial History of how early (fictional) Magic progressed from using a shamanistic style of magic; rituals and prayer incantations, into condensed mana imprints; spell circles cast on thin air, especially when there's a thousand years of progress between them, is a Big Project.

What you're trying to do here is similar to coming up with the history of how humanity went from using bows, swords, and horses to conduct warfare, to modern warfare using sub-machine guns, tanks, and helicopters.

To even attempt this, would take massive research. 

Just to start with: 

How much do you know about:
The History of actual Magic?

Not make-believe magic, like what's found in Dungeons and Dragons, but Real, historical Magic as it is currently practiced here on Earth? 

 

 Stonehenge

A brief History of Actual Magic

The History of Magic starts at the dawn of human existence.

However, most archaeologists and scholars who study history are Scientists. They don't always recognize what's right in front of their noses.  

Put It Back!

Magic after all, is the bailiwick of Dreamers, Artists, and Poets. It often takes a Dreamer to spot the Magic among the mundane, (and when certain things really need to stay buried.)

Luckily, there are a lot of Dreamers out there writing book after book, and blog post after blog post, about Magic and it's actual History.

Here's a very basic Summery:

-- The earliest form of Magic was basic shamanism which was practiced by native people all over the world in every country, and every culture. 

Magical songs, magical music, and magical dances to celebrate the sun, create rain, call the wind, bring down lightning, stop floods, walk in the bodies of beasts, encourage fertility in people, land, and livestock, or call an end to winter, are all shamanistic practices. Japanese Shintoism for example, is a somewhat advanced form of shamanism still in practice today. 

-- Prehistoric metal workers; Smiths, were considered powerful Magicians who sang over their forges and knew the secret of how to turn rough stones into gleaming weapons. Especially magical were the sword makers; the bladesmiths who used all kinds of sacred and profane ingredients, including fallen stars, to make mystical unbeatable swords that could empower or curse their wielders. 

-- Long before Christianity began, Judaic ceremonial magicians worked with divine beings and developed the Tree of Life as a progression map. Through prayers and songs they recorded in their Torah; the precursor to the common bible, they called down divine retribution, parted seas, sealed ifrits and genies into bottles, and introduced the idea of an Evil counterpart to the Divine: Shaitan; the Adversary. 

-- From India came the sutras; massive, long, and convoluted prayers that induce a meditative state so strong --and useful-- that the entire far east jumped on their bandwagon, branching out into thousands of different forms of Buddhism.  

 -- In China, Buddhism was added to the native forms of Shamanism, Astrology, Alchemy, and Numerology. This developed into a new form of Chinese Magic; Taoism, side-branching into Feng Shui. (Keep in mind, I'm being VERY general here.) Both the Buddhists and the Taoists slew demons and monsters, laid the walking/hopping dead to rest, broke curses, and tamed spirits and ghosts. However the Taoists also cultivated enlightenment to reach immortality, and apparently flew on swords as well. Much later, Confucianism was added to the mix and the fortune-telling Tao Te Ching emerged. 

 -- Chinese Magic; Taoism, eventually spread to Heian Japan. It mixed with the native shamanistic practices and Buddhism already there, and the Onmyoji sorcerers came into being. They did all the same thing as their Taoist counterparts did, except cultivate to immortality and fly on swords. 

-- The Celestial or Sacred Mathematics known as Geometry started in ancient Babylonia. It was used for surveying, astronomy, and construction of their massive temples. The Egyptians grabbed onto it and developed it further. They used it for surveying, astronomy, and construction too, but they wanted their sacred palaces, sacred temples, and sacred pyramids to also line up with their favorite stars. 

-- India developed their own form of Geometry for all the same reasons, and built gigantic sacred temples like everyone else, only a lot more decorative. 

 

The Greeks snatched Geometry from both India and the Egyptians, then developed Geometry into a high art form. They used it to build even fancier temples plus palaces that lined up with the sun, the moon, and certain planets. 

-- When the Romans took over Greece, they got a hold of Geometry, and developed a brand new invention called Cement; liquid stone that hardened into any shape you had a mold for. They combined the two and promptly went insane. They used Geometry and Cement to build massive domed temples of every variety for every god, plus aqueducts, fountains, sewage systems, drainage systems, irrigation systems, road systems that covered most of the known world, central under-the-floor heating, heated in-home baths, whole apartment buildings, outdoor theaters, coliseums, purely decorative grand arches, and huge Imperial palaces. 

 -- By the close of the Roman Empire, Sacred Geometry was firmly under the control of a brotherhood of architects and builders known as The Masons, and was jealously hidden away from anyone that wasn't a Masonic Architect. For over a thousand years the Masons kept Geometry as a Magical secret. Only they knew how to construct the massive, awe-inspiring Sacred temples, mosques, and cathedrals. 

 

-- The modern 'Order' of the Free Masons had their start here. In fact, if you look at any modern Mason ring you'll see the "G" and the tools used for Geometry.  

 

-- During the Byzantine era, a Syrian Alchemist created the chemical bomb known as Greek Fire for the Byzantine Emperor. Greek Fire was considered very Magical indeed because no one could figure out how he did it. The Syrian never told anybody. 

Much, much later someone invented something similar under the name: napalm. However, it wasn't considered magical in the least.

 

-- In the early to mid 1200's, Roger Bacon, a medieval English philosopher and Franciscan friar, was also regarded as a Wizard. He was attributed to the invention of gunpowder, (clearly stolen from the Orient,) and the magnifying glass. 

-- In the late 1200's, Dante Alighieri, an Italian poet, writer, and philosopher published three works of fiction that pretty much changed how every single Christian in the world saw Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. His Divine Comedy: Inferno, Purgatorio, and Paradiso, were published just in time for the invention of the Gutenberg Press. These books, alongside the first printed bibles, promptly spread all over Europe to every home that could afford a printed book.

 

-- Dante's stories introduced the nine levels of Hell, and the names of the demons that lived there. They also described the levels of Purgatory, and what could be found there, and the nine levels of Heaven and the names of the angels that lived there. King Solomon was also tossed in and recorded to have captured and sealed away a great many demons into bottles. Dante listed the names of those demons too. These books also introduced the concept of a War in Heaven. This war featured a peerless angel that rebelled against God, and was punished for it by being thrown out, or down rather, to become the ruler of Hell. He even named that fallen angel and gave the ruler of Hell a title borrowed straight from the Torah: Shaitan -- Satan. 

-- By the mid 1300's, all the demons and angels mentioned in Dante's works of fiction, were accepted as being actual demons and angels. Absolutely everyone accepted that the War in Heaven actually happened, and the story of the fallen angel as Fact. There was a Satan in Hell, just ask anyone, even your local priest -- who likely had a copy of Dante's books sitting right next to his personal bible. For reference.

 

-- There was actually a reason why Fiction suddenly became Fact. Namely: the Black Plague and the Bubonic Plague.

The only explanation anyone had for everyone dropping dead around them was either "God hates us," or "There was no God." After all, God was supposed to be a being of pure Good, God couldn't have possibly created a Plague! Well, the Catholic Church certainly couldn't have people not believing in their God anymore. That was an awful lot of tithes (money) they'd lose out on. So in all their wisdom, the Catholic leaders in Rome decided they needed Someone to Blame. They looked no further than Dante's books. The plagues were Satan's fault. 

Satan, a fictional character from a work of fiction: Dante's Inferno, has been blamed for everything wrong with the world ever since.

-- By the late Middle Ages (c. 1350–1450), the major plagues were pretty much over, so all the local peasant farmers started celebrating, with Pagan revivals. 

Pagan rituals and celebrations were a lot more fun than sitting in a cold stone room crammed in next to your unwashed, smelly neighbors on hard wooden seats being snarled at by the local Christian priest for hours. Nobody wanted to be yelled at for enjoying making love to their own spouse, enjoying the beer and mead they brewed in their own cellars, or for women using their skills to make an income to help support their families. So they stopped going to church. More importantly however, they stopped paying for the churches' upkeep.

 -- To deal with the crisis, (the churches were losing a lot of money,) the Christian leaders in Rome did two things. The first was to make all the local gods into Christian Saints and allowed the local celebrations -- now sanctified by the local churches. 

-- The other was to start a Smear Campaign against anything, and everything to do with Magic. It worked on the uneducated peasant populous. The educated populous however, smiled in church on Sunday, but held secret book club meetings the rest of the week. In their private parlors and hidden rooms alongside close friends and associates they perused old obscure books about Geometry, Alchemy, Philosophy, and Magic.

-- As a result of those secret book clubs, in the 1400's, Middle Eastern Alchemy became quite popular in Europe, and split into two distinct branches. One branch was very practical in nature. These Alchemists developed the earliest techniques for creating artificial, manufactured, jewels: diamonds, sapphires, emeralds, and rubies. They did this by combining base ores and certain chemicals in a high pressure furnace called an Athanor. Of course a lot of them blew themselves up doing it too. Anyway! Today, Cubic Zirconium; manufactured diamonds, are created in this exact fashion. With a lot fewer people being blown up.

 -- The other branch of Alchemy was highly philosophical in nature, and considered one of the earliest forms of Psychology. The very earliest form of psychology being talking to your local shaman or priest. This 'spiritual' Alchemy became known as Hermeticism. 

-- During this period, the Northern Europeans went through a Magical Renaissance. By dredging through every obscure book they could find, they developed a whole new system of Magic. This new Magic combined the Judaic Tree of Life/Sefirot magic, Masonic ceremonial magic, different forms of fortune-telling, Astrology, Greek Philosophy, Hermeticism, mathematics, and a dash of shamanistic spirit summoning. This form of Magic invoked Heavenly and Unholy powers using angelic and demonic names straight out of Dante's works of fiction, through basic addition and subtraction called Magic Squares These Magic Squares were later made circular and stamped on medallions.

 -- You can find a bunch of these squares and the symbols created through simple addition and subtraction in the Ars Goatia, also called the Lesser and Greater Keys of Solomon. The Ars Goatia is where all those fancy circle spells you see in manga and anime were borrowed from.  

-- In 1478, the Spanish Dominicans, a branch of rabid Christians who murderously loathed anything that wasn't their brand of Catholicism, (and women in general,) petitioned the Monarchy of the newly unified Spanish kingdom for permission to combat heresy and demon worship in Spain. They were called The Spanish Inquisition.  They were also called, Domini Canis; Dogs of God -- implying just how rabid they were. 

This Inquisition had their own form of Magic that utilized prayers from the bible plus a few they created themselves, consecrated hosts, holy water made by their churches, blessed swords, and lit torches. Permission granted, they went absolutely insane. They grabbed anyone and everyone that wasn't their brand of Catholic, from peasant to noble. Especially if they were female. Once they tortured confessions out of them, they burned or hanged them to death. Then they took their property -- for God. They killed a lot of people.

The Inquisition remained in operation burning and hanging heretics, demon worshipers, and witches all over the world until 1834. 

 

-- In the early 1500's --despite the threat of The Inquisition-- a German Renaissance philosopher named Agrippa, came up with the Angelic Script, Transitus Fluvii, and Malachim alphabets to make communicating with Heavenly beings easier. 

-- During this period, telling the future by Scrying; seeing, by peering into a bowl of liquid, or crystal balls, or reading the swing of a pendulum over a laid out alphabet, plus Astrology, and Tarot card reading, became very, very popular. Everyone who was anyone was doing at least one of them during dinner parties and afternoon teas.

-- In the late 1500's, an an English Renaissance occultist and scryer called Sir Edward Kelly, and his friend John Dee, an English court astronomer, came up with the Enochian alphabet. This was also meant for communication with Heavenly beings -- and taming ghostly beings. 

-- In the 1600's, Voudon, (voodoo), a form of native West-African shamanistic magic mixed with prayers and songs from the King James bible, developed in Haiti and quickly spread through all the islands close to it. It also spread to the Southern US and outward with the slave trade. 

-- By the mid 1700's, the British isles developed two distinct forms of magic. Witchcraft; based on native shamanistic rituals, and Ceremonial Magic, which was pretty much a cleaned up and polished version of what was being practiced in Europe mixed with Masonic rituals. Currently, the witchcraft forms are called Wicca, Paganism, and Heathenism respectively, and the ceremonial forms are mostly under the headings: Hermeticism and Western Esotericism, with thousands of variations under both types of magic. 

-- In the 1800's consumption; tuberculosis, began to kill large numbers of people all over the place. Because everyone had someone they dearly missed, a pretty large occult revival happened all over Europe and in the US. Seeing and talking to spirits of the dead by way of seances: featuring full on possessions by ghosts, table-tapping, levitating objects, and the appearance of ectoplasm, became very, very popular. Especially in England.  

 -- In the mid 1800's, the Rosicrucian Fraternity appeared in the US, a mix of Occultism, Hermeticism, and Christian gnosticsm. Supposedly it had a long and involved history that went back to the 1500's. Said history has since been debunked as Fictional. However, the Magic works just fine. 

-- In 1940 in England, Neopagans, and very witchcraft Wicca, emerged onto the public domain. Their brand of Magic was shamanistic at core, celebrated old Celtic and old Scandinavian gods, utilized divination, and was only loosely organized. These practitioners also borrowed bits and pieces from just about every other form of paganism, mysticism, and the occult -- depending on the practitioner's personal feelings, beliefs, and curiosity. 

-- In 1969 modern Satanism happened. This form of magic and the belief system that went with it was put together by one man: Anton LeVay. He used bits from the common King James bible, some demonic names from Dante's books, created a philosophy of Self-Worship based on European Hermeticism, added a few European magic squares, and mixed it all together with basic Golden Dawn brand ceremonial magic to make it pretty. Strangely enough, it actually works.  

-- In 1977, the US government recognized Wicca as an official legal Religion. This prompted a massive explosion of books for and about witchcraft. Some of these books are quite informative and well researched, others, a jumbled rehashing of what was already floating around from the last occult movement during the 1800's. Buyer beware. 

And that's just skimming the surface of the History of Magic right here on this world. If you want to know more, Google is your friend.

Knowing the Facts about real Magic can assist you in making any form of fictional Magic --no matter how Make-Believe-- not only logically operable, but feel Real and possibly even familiar to the readers.

 

As for the original question...

Magic based on the Microchip: 

The Irregular at Magic High School, Mahouka Koukou no Rettousei

You Don't need to Invent a whole
History for Magic.

Writing a whole history; even in note form, would be a massive amount of work.

Instead, focus on how your spells are Powered; Gods, Spirits, the Force, a magical core? Then work out the reasons why the spells were changed from shamanistic incantations to the form you plan to use in your story. 

A good place to start would be looking up the early Magic practices of the culture you're writing about. For example, JRR Tolkien's high-fantasy stories about wizards, elves, dwarves, ents, and trolls was based on early Scandinavian mythology. 

As for mana circle imprints... Just coming up with how mana imprints happen will be headache-inducing enough. Trying to add a History to it is a sure-fire way to kill all your inspiration to write.

I mean seriously, do they have to Memorize every circle they intend to use, then project that memory plus the right amount of mana every single time they want to cast a spell? Wouldn't that limit them to only casting One spell at a time?

Are you aware that at this point in time; the Modern Era, no one is capable of doing that? The human brain simply will not allow it. Clearly, they are going to need something to assist them in making those circles occur, so they can then put their mana into them.

For this particular project, I suggest looking up how a microchip works. It might give you some ideas on how long arias and chants (simple circuitry,) could become far more condensed spells, (the microchip.) link --> The basics of microchips 

Just so you know, the Microchip as a basis of How Magic Works is used in the manga and anime series: The Irregular at Magic High School, Mahouka Koukou no Rettousei.

In Conclusion...

If you're determined to create your own brand of Magic for your stories, your best place to start is with the History of Magic that already exists for whatever culture you happen to be writing in. Use it as a jumping off point, or a framework that explains why your magic works the way it does. Simply adjust the facts to fit the story you want to write. Add things, or subtract things as needed.

Just please be aware that there will be actual practitioners in your reading audience. We will Know when you mess up and don't keep to your own lore, just as easily as we know when someone is using Dungeons and Dragons as a base for their magical system.

After all, we love Fantasy stories too. If we didn't, we wouldn't be practicing magic in the first place.

☕

Morgan Hawke

The Curse of Run-On Dialogue

 

The Curse of Run-On Dialogue

AKA; Narration Run Amok

----- Original Message -----

[What should I do] about splitting [dialogue] paragraphs that are [all] by the same character? I usually do it for emphasis or to show that there's a brief pause between them. Like when a character suddenly changes his/her topic.

-- My Characters Won't Shut Up! --

Paragraphing IS supposed to be divided by character; actions + dialogue. However, sooner or later one will run across: Run-On Dialogue.

Run-On Dialogue is when one character talks, and talks, and talks...for whole paragraphs at a time.

Oddly enough, this problem isn't all that common, but it can happen to new writers who still haven't quite figured out how to break up their dialogue with actions and descriptions.

Far more common is the creation of whole paragraphs of Internal Dialogue and Introspection, especially when one writes in First Person POV, or Third Person Close POV. This is known as Narration Run Amok.

When only one character is acting and talking, or acting and thinking, this can make for walls of text the size of a skyscraper.

So, how do you break up that
Wall of Talking?

Well hopefully you're breaking all that talking up with body language, actions, and descriptions.

Seriously, that's what you do first:

Break up your lines of Dialogue with:

• Actions
• Description
• Body Language

Next!

Sub-Divide those lines of dialogue into paragraphs by:

• Change in Action
• Change in Location
• Change in Thought or Ideas

Example: Change in Thought or Idea

Did you know that you're supposed to write someone arguing with themselves as two different people complete with paragraph breaks, even though they're the same person?

I sure didn't.

Then my editor sent me that particular manuscript page covered in red ink.

Example: All three in 3rd Person Close POV:

Excerpt from Death & The Maiden

Standing with her back against her room's closed door, Michiru clutched her bathrobe to her throat and gasped for breath. She'd known that Koyomi and Aso were...dating, but she hadn't quite realized they'd gone that far.

She winced. Idiot...! Of course they've gone that far. The Yomi half of Koyomi's personality was openly lecherous, at least around Michiru, and Aso was a known womanizer. She'd had more than one run-in with his openly adoring and half-naked harem.

Michiru sighed heavily then turned to her right to set her bath things on her battered dresser next to her aged brass bed. It was beginning to look like she was the only virgin in the dorm. In fact, according to the gossip her classmates shared, she was very likely the only virgin in the whole senior class.

She was seriously beginning to feel rather...left out.

Michiru scowled and jerked opened the middle drawer of her dresser to yank out a pink flannel nightgown. Stupid virginity! She flung the night gown on the neatly made bed and slammed the drawer closed. It wasn't that she was saving herself for marriage or anything. She doubted she'd live that long. She just wanted to give her virginity to someone she liked - that liked her back.

However, the way things were going, she sincerely doubted she'd live long enough to go on a proper date, never mind get the chance to lose her virginity. Damn it!

Michiru stomped across the room to pull the heavy curtains closed. It was too damned cold at night to leave them open. The cracked windows did little to keep heat in the room. She then moved to the fireplace opposite her bed and knelt to light the paper covered fire log in her fireplace, then added a few actual wood logs. The aged fireplace was the room's only source of heat and the paper coated fire log only lasted a few hours.

Once the log was well and truly lit, she slipped out of her bathrobe and pulled her night gown over her head, tugging it down over her nudity. Stupid zombies! Why were they all in her town anyway? If it hadn't been for them, she'd have been able to live a normal life and gotten herself a normal boyfriend.

Michiru flopped back on her bed to stare at the cracked, water-stained ceiling. So what should I do? She didn't want to die a virgin! That would be completely pathetic.

Note how the character's Actions and Mood Swings (the back and forth in Thought,) allowed for paragraph breaks.

Hopefully that helped.

When & How to SMUT

 

When & How to SMUT

DISCLAIMER: As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.
Less competition for me. :)​

----- Original Message -----
I'd like to know how some smut writers write their smut, ...how smutty our smut should be, [and] places to put smut where it [won't] obstruct the actual plot. I also just want more smut to read...
-- Looking for Good Smut --

 

Before one Smuts...​

 

The first thing one needs to know about writing smut is The Law of Erotic Fiction:​

 

If you can take the Smut out of the Smut Story
and still have a viable story,​

You did it WRONG.​

This was derived from Issac Azimov's Law of Science Fiction:​ 

"If you can take the Science out of the Science Fiction and still have a viable story, you did it WRONG."​

This Law is true for every genre of fiction, but especially true for Smut Fiction.

The point being; in order to write smut that won't obstruct the plot--​

 

One creates a Plot
specifically for the Smut.

 

 

​WARNING! Incoming Rant!​

Do Not add Smut to an already existing story!​

If you already have a viable story, adding smut just to get readers to look at your work is known as Pandering. This happens most often when a writer gets impatient for views, or sales, and resorts to adding smut to their work in hope of catching the attention of somebody, anybody who will look at their work.​

​

If you have a half-way decent story, Pandering is the worst thing you can do to your work because it is a Dead End trick. Adding smut content to a story that was not originally designed to have smut content destroys character cohesion and creates massive plot holes almost instantly. In short, it destroys whatever integrity that story might have had.​

​

Pandering is a cheap trick no reader appreciates, especially readers who already know what good smut fiction looks like.​

​

If you think your readers won't notice you cheating them out of a properly plotted smut story, you are Very Wrong, and your readers will let you know in ugly ways.​

​

/Rant.​

Now that I've gotten that off my ample chest...
​

Accidents Do Happen.​

 

Sometimes writers will write stories that start out as legitimate smut, but the characters get carried away and the plot shifts focus to something that isn't smut -- turning their smut story into something completely different.​ 

How can you tell if a Smut Story has changed?​ 

Here's a test:
-- If you can substitute all the smut scenes with Kissing scenes, your plot has probably shifted into something else -- and that something else is what your story should be.​ 

What to do about this?​

First, figure out what your story's new focus is. Is it a fascinating Mystery, a rollicking Adventure, a tender Romance, intriguing Magic...? Next, take out all your lovely smut, save those scenes in another file to use in a different story, put kissing scenes in those gaping plot holes then finish your story.

What about just...jamming Smut in there anyway?​ 

NO! Absolutely Not. All that will do is ruin a perfectly viable story. All you can do is finish that story then try again with a new story -- hopefully with the smut properly integrated into the plotline.​ 

How do you Write a Story for Smut?!​

Before one writes a single word of the story you plan to have smut in, one needs to know that there are major differences between a basic smut story (Erotica), a smut Adventure story, (Adult Pulp Fiction and Erotic Romance,) a story with with love scenes, (common Romance,) and rape fics, (Bodice Rippers.)

Each of those types of stories all have different Plot Structures where the smut serves a difference purpose.


Erotica:
-- Smut IS the Plot.

Erotica stories tend to be short because their plot is literally; They met. They had sex. What happened after.

This sort of story is easily --and quickly-- written because the writer merely needs to come up with a smut scene, then figure out how the characters met to have smut, then what happened after they had smut.

They saw.
They conquered.
They came.
~ The End.


Adult Pulp Fiction/Erotic Romances:
-- Because the MC needed Smut, Plot Happened.

Believe it or not, Pulp Fiction and Erotic Romances are pretty much the same thing -- an Adult Grand Adventure. The only real difference between them are their target reading audiences. Pulp Fiction is generally aimed at male readers, where Erotic Romance, despite the misleading genre title, are aimed at the female reading audience.

The writer's job is to find a reason for their main characters to Need that Smut to Happen, then expand on how every time they succeed in getting it on, their actions complicate their grand adventure.

The beautiful Omega deliberately seduced the rampaging Alpha to allow the others to escape.

In female oriented Erotic Romance, and BL novels, smut also actively demonstrates the level of emotional intimacy the couple has reached, especially after a traumatic event.

The more poorly written Pulp Fictions however, tend to use a Reward system.

After something happens, the main characters indulge in smut.

-- The main character does something Dangerous; a rescue, an escape, a heist, a fierce battle, and they are rewarded with smut. (Ian Fleming, I am looking at you!)

This is a cheap-assed, bargain bin version of the cliché 'Boy gets the Girl as a Prize for doing something Brave' plot. This cliché is older than the earliest fairy tales and twice as used. Think: cave-man.

If you are aiming strictly for the Male reading audience, go for it! They'll appreciate it enthusiastically.

However, I as an author and a female reader, despise it. In fact most female readers intensely dislike that cliché.

Why?

It's demeaning.

If a guy does something life-threatening for my sake such as a rescue, I might reward them with a hug, or a kiss on the cheek, or money, but never smut. Not unless I was already in a sexual relationship with them.

The only type of person that will reward a guy with smut when they are Not already in a relationship with them, is either:

1. A woman being forced to do so. In which case he better Not accept that reward or he will lose all respect from every female reading his story...!

2. Or a woman looking for a sucker to use. This kind of person will also toss him away the instant they find someone stronger, richer, and more powerful. This kind of person is known as a Skank and females Hate them. We certainly don't want to read about them unless they come to nasty, nasty ends.

Romance:
-- Falling in Love leads to Smut.

Many, many Romances have smut, but most of them don't really need it. This is because what drives the plot in a Romance story isn't Physical Love. The plot's focus is Emotional Love, and emotions are what make the story happen -- and need the most detailing.

However, if you truly want smut in your Romance story, to do it properly each progressive love scene should demonstrate the increasing level of Affection and Trust --the increasing level of love-- between your main characters.


Bodice Rippers:
-- The classic rape fic where the victim falls in love with their rapist. AKA: Stockholm Syndrome.

Before we get into how to write one of these, the writer needs to know two things:

Number One: American female readers tend to HATE rape fics --this includes M/M rape fics-- with a burning passion, unless that story ends with a gruesome revenge scene that the rapist does not survive.

Bodice Ripper novels went out of fashion in the USA in the mid 80's because of a massive cultural shift in the USA where 'having sex' and 'enjoying sex' were no longer considered shameful -- something Nice Girls didn't do until after marriage.

Ahem... The authors no longer needed the excuse of a forced seduction to get their Nice Girl characters into bed with their male leads.

Number Two: Over 80% of the English reading --and book-buying-- audience is Female.
​

So, if your English rape fic, or English translated rape fic, has a low reader count, now you know why. It's because the largest denomination of English readers --females-- won't read that type of work.

On the other hand...!

If you are targeting male readers this type of story will definitely appeal to them because rape is a very common male stroke fantasy.

Ahem! Please note the term Fantasy. Just because someone fantasizes about something does not mean they have any desire to do such things in real life. 

 

For example, Stephen King fantasizes about gruesome murders all the time -- he even writes them down so other people can fantasize about them too! However, he has never harmed anyone in real life.​

The key to writing Bodice Rippers successfully is to have some kind of smut content in every chapter (every 2,500 words minimum,) even if it's just peeping at naked flesh.

However, there should still be a decent excuse for every bit of smut to happen! It doesn't have to be a good excuse, just enough of one to move the story to the next scene.

Detailing smut however, is optional with smut scenes only being a paragraph or three in length. This is because while male readers prefer detailed descriptions of the characters participating in smut -- female and male-- they prefer to use their imaginations to detail the action.


The Bodice Ripper is the core of the Oriental Harem story.

 

In order to write a harem fic longer than 10,000 words (two to four chapters,) one needs more Targets to fill out that word count.

To make a basic Harem Fic, start by sketching out as many targets for your main character to seduce as possible. Seriously, make a list with names, cliché character typecasting, and base descriptions. Change targets every 20,000 (20k) words with a new location and a fresh excuse to have smut.

How do you End a Harem Fic?​

-- No idea. From what I've seen so far, the story keeps going until the Main Character dies.

How Descriptive 

should the Smut Scenes be?​

This depends on your target reading audience.

Female readers want descriptive details of everything -- inside and out!​

The people, the places, the action, the sounds, the smells, the tastes, the colors, the textures... Female readers want to see each scene clearly in their minds better than in a movie. They want to experience it all; mentally, physically, emotionally. They want to be those characters and live their lives from inside their skins.

Smut scenes range between 2,500 words to 10,000 words per scene.

However there is a limit to how much one should describe!​

• Good example of descriptive writing: 
  Laurell K Hamilton's early Anita Blake books. Her later books completely lost the plot.​
   
• Bad example: 
  JRR Tolkien's Lord of the Rings series. He was writing a travelogue and it shows. His Hobbit is much better, but still crammed with travelogue details.​

​Male readers prefer the Characters and Action Scenes as lovingly detailed as the Silver Screen.​

They want to see the participants and players in full technicolor in their imaginations; skin tones, hair color, eye color, the exact softness of skin, fragrances fair and foul, descriptions of body types, and exactly how a bosom fits in the character's palm. 

They like the messy details too; the slap of skin and the squelch of wet flesh, musky damp scents, and the taste of sweaty skin.

Location changes, scenery changes, fight scenes and other daring-do scenes should also be as detailed as a movie scene.

The emotional aspects can be skipped almost entirely -- unless Revenge is involved. Apparently Hate, Rage, Anger, and Frustration are allowable emotions for the main protagonist to wallow in. 

Love and affection are emotions they succumb to -- after fighting long and hard against them.

Everything else can be somewhat vague, including the smut.

Average Smut scene: 500 to 1000 words.

If you want to detail out the smut to 5000 words or more, your male readers will definitely enjoy it, but a couple paragraphs of a rough outline of what happened works too. This is because males like to add in their own little details and dialogue while they're fapping to smut.​

• Good Example of descriptive writing male readers appreciate: Jim Butcher's Dresden Files series.​
• Bad Example: Ian Fleming's James Bond series. Each female lead and all the action is lovingly detailed, but the smut scenes are barely a paragraph in length and described very poorly. I was so disappointed.​
   
   

How much Smut...?​

 

This depends on the type of story one is writing.

However...! Before we go into detail about how much Smut each type of story generally has, my definition of Smut needs to be addressed.

To many writers, Smut = Sex. My definition is a lot more broad. 

 

As far as I'm concerned, Smut is anything sexual at all; from smoldering eye contact, to a squeeze of the butt cheek, to full on intercourse. I do however, define a Smut Scene as a scene were sex happens. Okay?

Okay. 

 

Now...​ 

 

How much Smut
should go in each type of Smut Story?

 

Erotica:​

• Smut Scenes: One per 5000 (5k) words.​
• How Smutty: Extremely detailed.​
• Fetishes or kinks: Yes, please! Limited to what is legal to publish. Generally no scat, no bestiality, no watersports.​

​Euphemistic language to start with, increasingly hardcore adult language until the peak of climax for best effect. C-word used sparingly and only as a compliment. F-bombs perfectly okay.​

Erotic tension begins with the opening line of the story and every word of description should add to that tension. The moment the two main characters make eye contact Lust smolders into being and every word after that should be erotically charged until the very last line.

Keep in mind, most Erotica is short; 5000 (5k) words to 20,000 (20k) words at most. It is agonizingly difficult to keep up the sexual tension beyond 20k without changing participants. It CAN be done, but it is not easy.
​

WARNING! Female readers Do Not like reading stories where the main character changes partners. Females consider that Cheating -- unless the story ends in a threesome relationship with all three participants sleeping with each other.​

Adult Pulp Fiction/Erotic Romance:​

• Smut Scenes: Eight to fifteen per 100,000 (100k) words.​
• How Smutty: Hardcore detailed.​
• Fetishes or kinks: Limited to what is legal to publish. No scat, no bestiality, no watersports.​

​Common language with increasingly hardcore adult language during moments of Danger. Also during rising sexual tension until the peak of climax. C-word used only as a compliment. F-bombs perfectly okay.​

Because these stories are in fact cross-genres of Adventure and Romance, it is much easier to keep the erotic tension going between exclusive partners by balancing it with danger and suspense. 

 

Think in terms of a roller-coaster ride with the high peaks being Smut, the deep drops being Danger, and the sharps curves being Suspense.

Romances:​

• Smut Scenes: Three to five per 100,000 (100k) words.​
• How Smutty: Detailed enough to know who is doing what, but through rose-colored glasses.​
• Fetishes or kinks: Only what is acceptable by housewives and high school girls. (Mild bondage, no pain!)​

​Romantic and euphemistic language with only mildly coarse adult language during moments of danger. Also during rising sexual tension until the peak of climax. F-bombs only while in extreme danger and at the peak of climax. C-word is right out.​

Be sure to detail the internal dialogue and emotional angst of your POV character.

Best written from ONE POV only! 

(Especially if the writer is a Beginner.)​

The idea is to keep the readers guessing as to how the Romantic Interest really feels. Using the Romantic Interest's POV even once removes all romantic suspense and gives away the Ending! This is BAD because once the readers know how the story will end, they no longer have a reason to keep reading your story.

Bodice Ripper / Harem story​

• Smut Scenes: Some kind of smut content from mild to hardcore every chapter.​
• How Smutty: Hardcore detailed. Change targets every 50,000 (50k) words with a new location and a new plot twist to give you a fresh excuse to have smut.​
• Fetishes or kinks: Limited to what is legal to publish. No scat, no bestiality, no watersports.​

Common language with increasingly hardcore adult language during moments of danger. Also during rising sexual tension until the peak of climax. C-word okay. F-bombs okay.​

​

WARNING! Make sure you know your Reading Audience! 

American female readers Do Not respond well to smut-shaming scenes and may get vicious about them.​

Oddly enough, the Bodice Ripper/Harem Tale is a cross-genre of Adventure and Erotica. Keeping the erotic tension is done by changing partners plus moments danger and suspense. In fact, the easiest way is by changing partners during moments of danger and suspense.

Just don't completely abandon the previous partners, especially if they've married the harem master! Doing that will create a plot hole your readers will crucify you for in the comments.

To avoid that sort of problem, give each successive partner their own individual problem the main character needs to assist them with. That partner's story concludes when the problem is fixed and the main character moves on, leaving a happy and thoroughly satisfied ex-partner behind.

The light novel series Vampire Hunter D uses this formula for each individual book.​

Everywhere he goes, D meets a new partner with a vampire problem. Once he fixes their problems and kills the local vampire, he leaves them behind happy and satisfied.​

In Conclusion...​

So, how do smut writers write their smut?
-- With loving descriptions and careful attention to detail.

How smutty should the smut be? ​

-- Enough to actually get one's target reading audience tight and tingly in their britches.

Where should one put the smut, so it won't obstruct the actual plot?​

-- Where it belongs; as an important mover and shaker of the plot all by itself.

I hope this proves helpful.