Don't Insult your Readers ~ A minor Rant.

Don't Insult your Readers.
A minor Rant.

"You don't need to put neon signs around your plot points.
Readers aren't as dumb as you think."
-- Mojo Castle Books, Editor in Chief --

Just say No to: 
PLOT WAFFLING!​

Plot Waffling is a form of Author Intrusion that appears when the author is convinced that their Readers are too stupid, or too immature to comprehend what's going on in the story without assistance.

For example, when a character keeps "noticing" what seems to be something relatively unimportant that adds nothing to the current scene.

✧ "Wow, that's interesting. Why is that there?"
✧ "I wonder who that is, even though I'm not interested in them, really."

Translation: "NOTICE THIS NOW! Hell, write this shit down!"

 

This form of Plot Waffling is even worse, and is commonly mistaken by the Author as Foreshadowing:

✧ Little did they know, but this would be the last time...
✧ If only they knew that...
✧ Don’t worry about it. You’ll know the truth soon enough.
✧ Anyway, I’m getting ahead of my story. Little Ozzie and Terrible Chester do not enter the picture until after the cow explodes.

This shit is not Foreshadowing! 

This is fairytale Narration shit, and it does not belong in books or stories meant for anyone older than Twelve! It definitely doesn't belong in books or stories meant for Adults.

Ahem...

Plot Waffling, and Narration mainly appear in fairytales, published kiddie books, and story books intended for middle-school children and younger. Readers that actually need help comprehending what they're reading. For example, the very first Harry Potter book; Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, written specifically for eleven-year-olds and younger, had it all over the opening chapter.

When this shit happens in published novels meant for Adults, it's usually accidental.

The culprit being the Author's publishing house Editor who didn't recognize that it should have been red-lined and removed. Either the Editor was very new at the job, and wasn't fully trained yet, or the Editor recently came from the Children's Books, or Young Adult department where this shit is considered acceptable for publication -- because their Readers are children.

In short, these Editors had yet to learn that this shit Should Not be in books read by Adults, and is supposed to be Removed with Extreme Prejudice.

If this shit appears in a novel written by a top named Author, that Author likely has a multi-billion dollar contract that states that they don't want an Editor, and no matter what they write, or how badly they write it, it will be Published. Such as: Nora Roberts, Stephen King, Laurell K Hamilton, Anne Rice...

So! If you're not writing a kid's book, and you're not a top named author with a contract that says you can skip the Editor...?

Shut up, and go edit that shit out of your work.

Web Stories & Fan-fiction​

On Web Story and Fan-fiction sites, Plot Waffling and Narration show up for three main reasons.

Reason 1:

-- The Author hasn't read nearly enough books written for Adults to realize that Plot Waffling and Fairytale Narration is only acceptable in stories meant for Children.

Reason 2:

-- The Author has deliberately written a story in a Manga, Lite Novel, or WebNovel style because they thought it would be easier to write, and popular.

It is plainly obvious that both of these types of Authors gorged on a high concentration of fairytales, middle-school story books, translated Manga and Manhua, translated Lite Novels, and Young Adult novels. These stories are well-known for having very simplistic wish-fulfillment plots, cliché wish-fulfillment characters, no romance or relationship development, very little description, and a limited vocabulary -- because they are meant for kids under thirteen with difficulty in Reading Comprehension.

None of which appeals to most Adult Readers.

Seriously, No Adult enjoys reading a story that's been Dumbed Down for Kiddy Comprehension -- especially if that story contains Adult Content!

Adult Readers generally prefer stories they can't guess the ending to by the fourth chapter, flawed complex characters dealing with personal issues, realistic relationships even if the adult scenes happen behind closed doors, rich and detailed descriptions that allow the Reader to clearly visualize the story's world, and a college-level vocabulary to support the full breadth of the story. 

 

#1 Excuse: 

"But WebNovel stories are all written that way!"​

 

The WebNovel sites available to readers in English are almost all Amateur Translations. Even the pay-to-read sites are translated by Amateurs. Professional translators are far too expensive for a WebNovel site to afford, especially when some of those stories have over 1000 chapters. 

 

Note: Both Lord of Mysteries and Shadow Slave were written --and posted-- in English, not translated to English, and it Shows. 

 

The only free stories easily available on the internet are amateur porn, amateur fan-fictions, amateur translations, and stories written by amateurs who read all those amateur translations then tried to write their own by imitating those amateur translations.  

Amateur imitation of Amateur translations 
will only result in Poorly Written Amateur work. 

 

Chinese, Japanese, and Korean WebNovel stories are published by the Chapter because these authors are Paid by the Chapter. These stories are Designed to Have No Ending, which is why those stories have such large casts of characters, and never really resolve their major plot points. The longer the story, the more money they make. 

 

This has been causing Bad Writing Habits in all those amateur writers imitating the WebNovel style. 

• Passive writing
• Simplistic vocabulary 
• Poor or No Description
• Cliche characters  
• Frequent POV switching 
• Cliche plotting or No plotting
• No End
• Lack of research 
• Plot Waffling 

Also, amateur Translators generally only translate 1000 to 1500 words at a time, cutting the original posted chapters into 3 to 5 parts -- so they can post their translations weekly. Another Bad Habit being imitated by amateur writers. 

• Chapters that are Too Short (under 2500 words.) 

 

~~ 📚~~​

 

There are Adults out there that prefer reading simplistic adventure books meant for teens and younger. However, they are vastly out-numbered by the rest of us Adults looking for something good to read.

~~ 📚~~​ 

Reason 3:

-- The Author has been abused in the Comments section by far too many Immature, and likely Under-aged Readers.

In my opinion...!
-- Too many story sites that allow Adult Content also allow Thirteen-Year-Olds Membership, when the minimum age for membership should be Sixteen, or better yet: Eighteen.

Not that age-restriction on memberships actually matter.

It's all too easy for an under-aged brat to LIE about their age and sneak in to a site they have no business viewing, and gaining access to content they are not legally old enough, and certainly not mature enough, to be seeing. Sadly, there's not a whole lot the site admins can do about it. Even if a brat is caught and thrown out, they can just create a new ID and sneak right back in.

To make matters worse, not all Immature Readers are under-aged.

However, Immature Readers of all ages have two major flaws in common, that makes them very easy to identify:

Impatience and the constant need for Attention.
​

Immaturity & Author Abuse​

On fan-fiction and web novel sites, Immature Readers are easily spotted by their nasty habit of battering Authors for spoilers in the Comments section. These spoiler questions tend to appear in the early chapters as puppy-eyed begging, or snotty demands for characters' motives, romantic interests, when sex scenes will happen, and how the story is going to end. Things the story itself will answer in due time.

Don't be fooled. Both the begging and the demands are signs that you're dealing with an immature, impatient, attention-seeking Brat.

In addition to spoiler-begging, these brats also tend to post half a dozen times on the same chapter by adding snippy, snotty, or outright nasty comments on other people's comment posts.

These brat posts are especially prevalent when the Author has not set their comments to "Members Only", "No Anonymous Guest Posts", and "Approve before Posting".

All too often, instead of telling these immature brats: "Go read the Chapter again, idiot," or "You'll know when it happens," or just plain IGNORING them, the abused Authors Give-In to the brats' demands and deliver on those spoilers in their comments. AKA: Feeding the Trolls. This is especially virulent when the author is desperate to be seen as Nice, and Friendly.

Rather than stop those brats from posting, it backfires spectacularly and encourages the little shits to Do It More. After all, they've been getting loads of attention this way. Why should they stop?

Sometimes a desperate Author will start adding explanations in their Author Notes, specifically for those Brat Readers that repeatedly post that they did not get it. Worst of all is when the Author starts adding Plot Waffling to the story to make Story Comprehension easier for those same Brat Readers.

In the meantime, what they're actually doing is Ruining the Story for the rest of their reading audience!

Stop that!

 

So how do you deal with

 Immature Bratty Troll Readers?

Never accept Anonymous Guest posts, and if the brats get through anyway, ignore them. Don't Answer their Posts.

To get rid of a Troll, you have to
Starve it of Attention.
There is No Other Way. ​

The truth is, these immature troll brats are not looking for answers, they're looking for ATTENTION from the closest famous person they can get to talk to them: the Author of the story they're reading.

If you must answer them, just politely tell them: "I don't want to give away all the surprises," or "The answers are in the story," or "Just wait and see!" Then disengage and don't add any more -- especially if they're provoking you!

Report them if you can. If not, your only recourse to utterly ignore them, no matter how nasty they get. 

 

~~ 📚~~
​

So...! 

 

How does an Adult tell an Author 

to Stop treating their Readers like children? 

 

This is easily done with an Email to the Author, or a post in their Comments section:

Dear Author,​

-- Please stop dumbing down the story. I am a working, tax-paying, Adult with an Adult's level of reading comprehension and the vocabulary to go with it. I am Not an immature brat who hasn't graduated high school yet. Nor am I an idiot. I don't need pointers, hints, or asides to help me understand what's going on. I am fully capable of following context clues to figure things out for myself, thank-you.​

 -- Looking for a Good Story 

 

 

In Conclusion...

You get what you Pay For. 

 

If you want something good to read, chances are, you're going to have to Pay for it.

 

Most free-to-read stories available on the internet are written or translated by Amateurs with little experience on how to write decent fiction. 

 

Stories written by experienced professional authors however, are not free. 

 

Del-Rey, the largest publisher of Sci-Fi and Fantasy does not allow any of their published books to be posted anywhere for free. Nor does any other US publisher, including eBook publishers. Even the authors' own sites are limited to posting no more than four chapters. 

 

While eBook publishers can compete with brick and mortar publishing houses for decent authors, pay-to-read Web Novel sites can Not. Writing a chapter a day for a professional author is far too much pressure for far too little pay. Free story sites aren't even a consideration.

 

☕

Should I get a Degree in Writing?

 "Should I get a Degree in Writing?"

----- Original Message -----
I've being toying with the idea of getting a degree in 'Creative Writing' recently and was wondering if this is a good idea or not?
 -- Wanna go Pro

WARNING! RANT Ahead...!

If you want to write professionally, Don't Waste your Money on 

Creative Writing courses. 

What they teach you in those so-called Creative Writing classes is how to break rules, not how to USE them to write a story a publisher will accept. In addition, they may RUIN the instincts for storytelling you currently possess and destroy your ability to write publishable fiction.

Instead, take a few cheap writing courses on COPYWRITING because that is how published fiction (and non-fiction) is actually written.

If you don't plan on writing Professionally then knock your socks off and take as many Creative Writing courses as your bank account can handle. I hear they're a lot of fun. Just don't expect any publisher to ever accept your...results.

As an author of over 30 published titles, I can tell you from years of experience that:

1) You DON'T need a degree of any kind to write Fiction successfully.


What you need are Life Experiences to write from.

You can't describe what you don't Know, so pack your back-pack and Go places, See things, and Do things. Join a Living History group or three. Learn how to; shoot a black-powder musket, ride a horse, belly-dance, wield a sword while wearing armor, spin wool, weave cloth, play a musical instrument, train dogs, speak a foreign language...etc. (I've done all of these.)

2) ANY fiction-writing course that isn't taught by a multi-published Fiction Author is a waste of your time and money.


You need to learn from those who actually DO IT, not from those who wish they could.

3) Realize and Accept that there is absolutely Nothing CREATIVE about writing for Money.


The Writing Guidelines posted by publishing houses are NOT Guidelines, they're absolute and unbreakable Rules. If you don't write what they want in the way they want it you WILL be Rejected --no matter how brilliant it is-- simply because it's Not what they asked for in their Guidelines.

"Is Writing Fiction

a good Profession?"

Not really. The pay sucks ass, especially if you are writing for a New York publisher. If you work for an ePublishing house the pay is better and far more frequent, but it's still not impressive.

For the Dirty Details: $Money Facts$: Ebooks & NY Print Publication

Just so you know, the ONLY ebook genre that actually makes good money these days is Erotic Romance (Women's Adult Pulp Fiction.)

"What sort of job opportunities

are there?"

Lots of people (read: Businesses,) are looking for good writers, but none of them are willing to pay a writer what they're actually worth because they all think Writing is EASY. (We all learned it in grammar school so it must be easy, right?)

For the Dirty Details: How Much Does a Copywriter Actually Make?

"If you have a degree in English and/or something writing orientated,

is it worth it?"

It's NOT, especially if you plan to write Fiction.

A degree in English will only teach you how to TEACH English -- not use it, and critique books in ways even the authors don't get. Unless you intend to make a living writing essays, teaching school, or as an editor correcting other people's fiction manuscripts, an English degree is a waste of your time and money.

"What are your thoughts on going to University to learn to Write professionally?"

If you want a degree Get One.

However...! Most universities prepare you for Teaching, Research, and Business -- NOT fiction writing. Be prepared to spend a lot of money learning a ton of crap you will not only never use, but may possibly Damage the fiction-writing skills you've already developed. 

If you're bound and determined to take classes on writing, go to Fiction Writing Workshops. Those are usually hosted by published authors and you'll actually learn things that are useful to your writing like; plotting, character design, pacing, narrative tricks, and the grammar authors use.

For the Dirty Details: The Secret to Proper Paragraphing for Fiction. 

If you want to write professionally then simply WRITE and post where your work can be found. Hang out where the authors hang out and Pay Attention when they give advice. Read as many books on writing as you can get your hands on; but only those written by Published AUTHORS. Most importantly, Keep Writing until a publisher spots your work and offers you a contract.

That's what worked for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

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If You Can't Take an Edit, Stay Out of the Publishing House

The Editor is Your Friend
Or
If You Can't Take an Edit,
- Stay Out of the Publishing House

Stefani V. Kelsey
Editor-in-chief of eXtasy Books

Back in the day...
...in order to see a book in print, you were forced to do it the old-fashioned way: submit to a major publishing house and use the rejection slips to dab your tears. Repeat the process until you either buried your dreams--and your manuscript--in the bottom of a trunk, or by God and by Golly...Hit the Big Time!

Now, the world is your publishing house.
If Doubleday is foolish enough not to recognize your genius, you can hit small press, or POD, or ebook, or even do it yourself, whether by paying someone to do it for you, or truly making it your own. With so many options, finding the right fit is worth taking the time.

A huge factor in the decision-making process is that of the most feared facet of the publishing world: The Editor.

One misapprehension that the editor is out to hack, twist, trash, or otherwise fold, spindle, and mutilate your work. The true job of an editor is to take what you have and make it the best it can be, not to rewrite it in their own image and likeness. Spelling, grammar and sentence structure are standard, as is consistency.

You may get a manuscript back marked with enough red to illustrate the St. Valentine's Massacre, and still find not all that much is changed, as far as the true heart of your work: the story.

An editor doesn't bake the cake, just decorates it.

Unfortunately, not all editors know their role.
Some want to rewrite a story in a way they like, regardless of author's voice. Others fail to understand the author's world building, and end up literally destroying the carefully wrought storyline. Still more take on the role with a minimum of training and experience, and end up putting in more mistakes than they take out.

Usually because of a bad experience such as this, the author goes into the publishing world mistrusting the editor, and the relationship is doomed from the start.

The trick is knowing the difference between a professional edit, and the evil alternative.

Editing can seem traumatic...
You just handed over your baby, and when you get that book back, you feel like you've been attacked. Sentences you labored over have been hash-marked. The quaint turn of phrase you spent a good amount of time getting just so has been designated "too passive", and there is a detailed note attached asking you all sorts of inane questions you thought were made perfectly clear in line 18 of page four.

What would bring an otherwise kind person to perform such brutality?

Oddly enough, they're doing it to help you.
If a publisher signs you, they think you have a good bit of writing that the public may enjoy. So their goal is to put out a book that people will want to spend money on.

Now, no matter how good you and your crit group are, things will be missed.
That's the editor's job.

What seems perfectly clear and right to you after fifty readings may not be so to a reader during their first. A certain turn of phrase may read as offensive, or it may just not fit the image the house wants to project.

And of course, two words to strike fear in any wordsmith's heart:
House Style.

Every publisher has their own style, terminology, and formatting methods. Which, in most cases, is nothing like yours.

But the end result is not intended to send you into a fit of weeping and bosom-rending, but merely to create a marketable product.

If it's not about the money, or you think your misspellings are creative, and should be left in for emphasis, or you truly fear the evil editor, don't go to a publisher.

Insane advice?
No, self-preservation.
You're better off going to a vanity press, or simply doing it yourself, because all it will result in is bad blood between you and the publisher.

If you sign their contract, you are in essence agreeing to do it their way. If you don't like their way, don't sign the contract.

And yes, an ebook publisher is a real publisher.

And a contract is a contract.

Going to an ebook publisher is not a "last resort."
It also does not mean you get the right to do or say whatever you like. An epublisher commands the same respect as any other.

If Doubleday signed you:

• Would you argue with and/or insult the editor?
• Would you ask the publisher after they spent hours editing and putting your book up for sale to dissolve your contract because you want to go to another publisher?
• More important, would they?

Straight up answer is no, on all counts. You wouldn't do it, and they wouldn't take it. So keep that in mind when you make your decision.

© 2005 Stefani V. Kelsey,
Executive Managing Editor, eXtasy Books
Also writing as Eppie Finalist and CAPA Nominee Rian Monaire Article Featured in Xodtica Magazine March 2005

Posted with Permission

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