Writing ACTION 2: The Plug & Play Method

From Blade of Evolution

Writing Action Scenes:​
The Plug & Play Method​
Writing ACTION 2​

☕

WARNING! This tutorial is NOT meant for those do Creative Writing.

This essay was originally written for writers seeking to be professionally published authors. As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.

If you are new to my tutorials, please read this one first:
The Secret to Proper Paragraphing and Dialogue
Certain things covered in this tutorial are based on that information.

 

 So you want a Quick way to write
Action Scenes?

Before we go there, did you read the first part of this series?

Writing ACTION 1:
The Trick to Writing Action Scenes that Work ​

You did? Great...!

Lets begin with a Review.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The flash of pain exploded in my cheek from the slap her hand lashed out at me.
-- WRONG! 

Why is this Wrong?​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you were watching this scene as a movie, that sentence is NOT how you would have seen it happen.

 

Actual Sequence of events:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Her hand lashed out in a slap. [Action]
2) A flash of pain exploded in my cheek [Reaction]

 

ACTION Sequences = Chronological Order​

REALITY = something happens to you and…you react.
Action > Reaction = Chronological order


FICTION = the Plot happens to the characters and…they react.
Action > Reaction = Chronological order​

If you want the reader to SEE the actions that you are trying to portray, Chronological Order is the ONLY way to write that scene. In other words, if you visualize the characters doing something in a specific order, you write it in THAT order!

Violating chronological order is a Very Bad idea. If you knock the actions out of order, the reader’s Mental Movie STOPS because the reader has to STOP READING to rearrange the sentences into the correct order to get the movie back.


Before we go on, you also need to know about the Action scene's Worst Enemy...!

The Evil Nasty Vicious "As."​

In school, they teach you that "as" is a word used to connect fragments of sentences together, rather in the same way you would use “and.”

Unfortunately, “as” doesn’t quite work the same way as an “and” in fiction.

“As” means; “things that happened simultaneously.”​

“And” means; “this happened too.”​

In Fiction NOTHING is truly simultaneous because the eye READS only one word at a time. The only things that can actually be counted as simultaneous in written fiction are groups of things.

Example:

All the soldiers marched.​

IMPORTANT!​

~~~~~~~~~~~~​

I'm NOT saying that simultaneous events CAN'T be written! I’m saying that using "as" is not the way to do it. Any group of events listed in one sentence are generally perceived as happening all at the same time -- until you get to the "and". However, they should still be listed --using the Serial Comma-- so as to make the reader's VISION of the whole event crystal clear.​

As far as I'm concerned, the only place an “as” belongs is at the BEGINNING of a sentence--

As all the soldiers marched, the drums and fifes played.​

Or in a comparison.

As black as pitch.​

See?

Where “As” goes WRONG​

I consider “as” a red flag word. A word that marks that something has gone terribly wrong in your sentence structure.

What went Wrong?​

 

In fiction, the word “as” usually marks where a sentence has gone out of Chronological Order.

Example:

The vampire scratched his head thoughtfully as he crouched over his victim.​

Think: Which actions actually happened first?

1. The vampire crouched over his victim.​

2. He scratched his head thoughtfully.​

The chronological way to write this would be:

The vampire crouched over his victim AND scratched his head thoughtfully.​

Why does this matter?​

 

A sentence Out of Chronological Order means that the reader has to Stop Reading to reset their mental movie of your story. That’s bad, very, very, BAD.

Do this enough times and your reader will stop reading your story to go find something easier to imagine. In fact, some readers will not only drop your story, never to read it again, they’ll avoid anythingelse you write.

How to Grammar Check for “as”:​

Do a Search/Replace substituting “as” for “and,” then go back and read through your entire work. If “and” doesn’t fit right in your sentence, then it’s most likely Out of Chronological Order.

Example:

The werewolf flattened his ears angrily as he faced the hunter.​

Search/Replace with "and":

The werewolf flattened his ears angrily and he faced the hunter.​

“And” doesn’t quite work there, does it?

Why not?

The werewolf didn’t flatten his ears before he faced the hunter.

So! Which actions actually happened first?

​

1. The werewolf faced the hunter.​

2. He was angry.​

3. He flattened his ears.​

Adjusted:

The werewolf faced the hunter and he angrily flattened his ears.​

Now the “he” doesn’t fit, so let’s chop that out.

One more time:

The werewolf faced the hunter and angrily flattened his ears.​

See what I mean? The word “As” is a devious sinister monster that should be destroyed on sight.


Now, on to the good stuff!

Writing Action Scenes​
The "Plug & Play" Method​

Life is full of random events. FICTION is NOT. Every element in a story – every character, every situation, and every object, must be there for a REASON, and have a Reason to Be There. NOTHING happens “just because” – especially actions.

The Magic Formula!​

1 Stimulus
2 Physical Reaction
3 Sensory Reaction 

4 Emotional Reaction ​
5 Deliberate Reaction​ 

 

This order is Very specific. You may Skip steps, but you may Not Change the Order.

1) Stimulus
-- Something happens TO the character. (Action).

2) Physical Reaction
-- The character has a knee-jerk Physical Reaction to what has just happened. (Reaction)

3) Sensory Reaction
-- The character feels Physical Sensations and physically reacts to the sensations. (Reaction)

4) Emotional Reaction
-- THEN they have an Emotional Reaction reflected in their thoughts and/or a comment about what had just happened. (Reaction)

5) Deliberate Reaction
-- THEN they Respond. They DO something about that action. (Reaction)

1) NEW Stimulus
-- External Reaction of the OTHER person or an Outside event. (Action)

The Chain of REACTIONS in DETAIL​

1) Stimulus – Something Happened!​

 

It all begins with: Stimulus > Response, also known as Action > Reaction. Something happens, and the character reacts. It’s that simple.

Stimulus: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

Response: Sam ducked, and the dagger flew harmlessly past him.​

Or -- Sam was stabbed through the heart.
Or -- Sam caught it in his hand.
Or -- something of a similar, immediate response-nature.

WARNING! Confusion May Happen!

Consider this:

Stimulus: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

Response: Sam grinned. “My, what lovely weather we’re having!”​

Too many writers think the Reader will assume that the dagger missed Sam. 

 

Nope. I’m afraid that many, many readers will Not make that assumption at all.

This is a Plot Hole; a missing piece to an event triggered by the obvious question: What happened to the dagger?

I’m not saying you can’t have that lovely piece of dialogue, I’m saying that you have to show the rest of the stimulus-response FIRST.

Stimulus: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

Response: Sam caught the dagger in his palm, raised his brow at Joe, and smiled thinly. “My, what lovely weather we’re having.”​

2) Physical Reaction – The Flinch​

 

Something happens. Your character reacts instinctively. They duck, they flinch, they dodge, they gasp, they choke, they pass out.

In real life, physical actions usually happen before dialogue. The finger pulls the trigger then the shooter wonders, “Oh no, what have I done?”

Most people Act then comment because physical reactions happen faster than thought. Thought happens after the fist has already shot out. Ask any cop or martial artist.

Martial artists in particular are trained to Not Think when they fight --No Mind-- specifically to make their reaction time faster.​

Thoughts that come first FREEZE physical action. Not in the literary sense, for real. Most people stop whatever action they are doing, they pause to process that thought because few people can do both at once.

Fiction should not be any different. 

3) Sensory Reaction – Cold Chills​

 

Something just happened. What did it feel like, physically? How did they react physically to those sensations? 

 

Remember--! The Body reacts faster than the Mind! 

Sensory = of the 5 Physical Senses​

 Sight - what is Seen
Sound - what is Heard
Taste - what is Tasted
Texture - what is physically Felt
Scent - what is Smelled

Sensation Reaction is what they perceived through their senses.

It smelled like--​

It looked like--​

It sounded like--​

It felt like--​

It tasted like--​

And their PHYSICAL reaction to those sensations.

"It tasted like moldy socks, and I nearly retched.”​

​

USE THEM.

Stimulus: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

Response: Sam reached out to grab the dagger. (Physical Reaction) The pommel slapped sharply into his palm, stinging his hand. (Sensory Reaction) He winced. (Reaction to sensation)​

4) Emotional/Mental Reaction –“Oh, woe is me!”
Internal Conflict!​

 

Something just happened. How did that make your character Feel Emotionally: scared, happy, angry, lustful…? These emotional feelings are reflected internally immediately after the physical sensations that wracked their bodies with unwarranted stimuli. Ahem-- After they feel the physical effects of what just happened.

Additionally, internal observations, internal dialogue, and narration happens before they make a vocal remark.

Stimulus - Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

​

Response – Sam reached out to grab the dagger. The pommel slapped sharply into his palm, stinging his hand. He winced. (Internalization) He had known Joe was pissed at him, but he hadn’t thought he was that pissed.​

5) Deliberate Reaction – Retaliation!​

 

Something happened, your character has felt the effects, had a thought, and perhaps made a comment. So, what is your character going to do next?

A deliberate action designed for Retaliation! More commonly known as: Revenge.

Stimulus - Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

​

Response – Sam reached out to grab the dagger. The pommel slapped sharply into his palm, stinging his hand. He winced. He had known Joe was pissed at him, but he hadn’t thought he was that pissed. (Deliberate Reaction – intended to get a reaction out of Joe.) He raised his brow at Joe and smiled thinly. “My, what lovely weather we’re having!”​

Just to make things confusing – Dialogue can be a Response Reaction, an Internalization, an Emotional Reaction or a Deliberate Reaction! 

 

When in doubt, always put Dialogue AFTER a physical action. 

 

 

(Stupid gif won't load. Click to see the action.)

Plug & Play it!​
Fill in the blank!​

Key:

1 Stimulus - Something Happened​

2 Physical Reaction - Their body’s immediate physical reaction​

3 Sensory Reaction - The physical sensations and their effects​

4 Emotional Reaction - What they thought about what was happening​

5 Deliberate Reaction - How they responded​

1 NEW Stimulus - What happened next.​

-- In this order.​

External / something HAPPENED​

1) Stimulus - Physical Action / Action, dialogue or both

Will Turner stabbed his sword toward Jack Sparrow.​

Viewpoint Character’s Reaction:​

2) Response - Physical Reaction / Did they jump? Flinch? Catch the flying object?

Jack twisted to intercept the oncoming blade with his blade, rather than his body.​

3) Response - Sensory Reaction / The physical sensations and their effects.

The swords impacted with a jarring ring.​

4) Response – Emotional Reaction / Internal or Vocal Comment reflecting what they thought about what was happening.

“Will, this isn’t the brightest idea in the world. I don’t know if you noticed, but there are a bunch of cutthroat pirates in the next cave?”​

5) Response – Deliberate Reaction / What they did or said in retaliation.

He slid his sword up Will’s blade, waggled his brows, and smiled.​

 

External Reaction of the OTHER

  -- or an Outside event:​

 

1) NEW Stimulus - Physical Action/Action or dialogue or Action & then Dialogue.

Will flinched back and scowled. “I don’t care! I want to rescue her now!”​

On the Page...​

Will Turner lunged, stabbing his sword toward Jack Sparrow.

Jack twisted to intercept the oncoming blade with his blade, rather than his body. The swords impacted with a jarring ring. “Will this isn’t the brightest idea in the world. I don’t know if you noticed, but there are a bunch of cutthroat pirates in the next cave?” He slid his sword up Will’s blade and smiled.

Will flinched back and scowled. “I don’t care. I want to rescue her now!”

Don't Forget:​

Separate each character’s Actions from the other characters.

NO SHARING. Characters Do NOT share Sentences or Paragraphs ever! Put each individual characters' Actions and the Dialogue that goes with those actions in their own Paragraph. Having two people doing stuff in one paragraph makes the Reader's visuals muddy. The Reader's mental movie --your story-- comes to a screeching halt while they try to figure out what the hell just happened.​

 

*Refer to: The Secret to Proper Paragraphing and Dialogue

ACTION always goes BEFORE Thoughts & Comments. 

The body reacts faster than commentary thoughts. Ask any martial artist. A REACTIONARY Comment: "Ouch!" Can go first because it plays the part of an ACTION, rather than a thought.​ 

Refer to: The Trick to Writing Action Scenes that Work

ONE Point of View Only for an entire Scene!
(Especially Beginners!)

POV switching happen when you change scenes. No Head-hopping! It gets really confusing as to who is doing and feeling what if two people or more are all thinking a feeling in one scene. Pick a POV character and stick with it for the whole scene.​

 

Refer to: The Trick to Writing Action Scenes that Work

Use crap-loads of Adjectives to describe sensations.

Description thrives on purple prose! Make every adjective highly opinionated to get the reader right into the action as though they are experiencing it.​ 

 

Refer to: Is Description Really Needed? YES.

 

In Conclusion:​

 

After figuring all this out the hard way, I discovered that this whole routine (Action > Reaction) is explained in exquisite detail in: Scene and Structure by Jack Bickham. Google is your friend. 

Morgan Hawke ☕

Writing ACTION 1: Action Scenes that Work

 

The Trick to Writing Action Scenes that Work:
Action THEN Reaction!

The #1 Most Common cause of Confusion in Action Scenes?
Putting the Reaction BEFORE the Action that caused it.

WARNING! This tutorial is NOT meant for those do Creative Writing.

This essay was originally written for writers seeking to be professionally published authors. As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.

If you are new to my tutorials, please read this one first:
The Secret to Proper Paragraphing and Dialogue
Certain things covered in this tutorial are based on that information.

Why is Action THEN Reaction so Important? ​

The flash of pain exploded in my cheek from the slap her hand lashed out at me.

WRONG!

Why is this Wrong?
-- If you were watching this scene as a movie, that sentence is NOT how you would have seen it happen.

Actual Sequence of events:
1) Her hand lashed out at me in a slap. [Action]
2) A flash of pain exploded in my cheek [Reaction]

ACTION Sequences = Chronological Order​

Chronological Order --the order in which things actually happen-- is the ONLY way to write an Action Scene that won't confuse your readers. If you visualize the characters doing something in a specific order – you write it in THAT order.

REALITY =
Something random happens to you then…you react. 
- in Chronological order​

Action –> Reaction 

 

Dialogue and Action:
Which comes first?

ACTION.

Too many inexperienced writers put all their Dialogue at the beginning of their paragraphs -- before the action that caused that dialogue to happen.

The truth is, Dialogue belongs in the sentence when it happened; before the action, during the action, or after the action.

However...!

The finger pulls the trigger THEN the shooter wonders: “Oh no, what have I done?”​

Realistically, physical actions usually happen BEFORE dialogue. Most people ACT then comment because physical reactions normally happen faster than thought. Ask any cop or martial artist.

This Does Not mean that thoughts or dialogue don't happen before the gun or fist is raised and pointed! Bad-mouthing and instigation is usually how fights start to begin with. 

 

However, the human body has a habit of...jumping the gun -- reacting before the thought of doing said Action is even fully formed, especially if they are martially trained.​

Thoughts that come first FREEZE physical action. Not in the literary sense, for real. Most people stop whatever action they are doing, they pause to speak.

Fiction works exactly the same way.

FICTION =
The Plot happens to the characters then…they react.
- in Chronological order​

Action –> Reaction

1 - Something happened TO the character, (the Action.)
2 - The character feels the Physical Sensation - the effects of the Action, (the reaction.)
3 - THEN they have a thought and/or comment about what had just happened, (an Action.)
4 - THEN they DO something about it, (their Reaction.)

WRONG:

The flash of pain exploded in my cheek [Reaction] as the slap her hand lashed out at me. [Action]​

RIGHT:

Her hand lashed out in a slap [action].​

​

My cheek exploded with a flash of pain. [reaction]. “Ow!” [dialogue/action] I balled my hand into a fist and swung for her face. [reaction]​

(Stupid gif won't load. Click image to see Action!)

Why did I break that sequence into Two lines? ​

Because each character gets their own paragraph for their actions.

Why?

For exactly the same reason you separate each character's dialogue into two paragraphs. Dialogue is an Action.

And while we're on the subject, leave the Dialogue ATTACHED to that character's Actions! This way you never need to use dialogue tags such as 'he said' or 'she said' to identify who is speaking. The Actions do that for you.

Back to the topic...

Violating chronological order is a Bad Idea. If you knock the Actions out of order the reader’s Mental Movie STOPS because the reader has to STOP READING to Re-Read that sequence and mentally rearrange the sentences in into the correct order to get the movie back.

Making the story hard for the reader to PICTURE
-- is a VERY Bad Idea. ​

Anytime the reader has to STOP to rearrange the words to FIT their mental movie, you’ve made a break. Breaks are BAD – very, very bad! A break creates a moment where the reader can STOP READING your story, and start reading something else -- and possibly never look at your work again.

A lot of writers hesitate to break up the actions between characters because written chronological action and dialogue tends to look very choppy on the page. It doesn't look neat and tidy

Neat and tidy be damned!​

Who cares how the words are arranged on the page? Once the reader has their Mental Movie rolling the reader won’t even notice the specific words. They’ll be too busy watching the scenes playing out in their mental movie to care what they're reading.

Screw aesthetics! Your first priority is keeping that reader reading. That means keeping their Mental Movie going without interruptions!

How to FIX this chronic problem:​

VISUALIZE your scenes as you write them. Play them as a movie in your head and write everything down EXACTLY as you see it. If it comes out in a pile of one short sentence after another, then add some smart-assed internal comments and/or dialogue.

Just remember to keep the character's dialogue connected to their actions.

Don't Forget: Dialogue is an Action too!

What about Literary style?​

What about it?

If you simply MUST have stylish phrasing in your fiction, save it for the descriptions. Keep it out of the Actions!

If you want the reader to SEE the actions that you are trying to portray, Chronological Order is the ONLY way to make Action Scenes crystal clear in their imaginations.

-------- Original Message -----------​

"I can't write an action/fight scene worth a crap. Mind you, I can usually imagine them, I just can't write them." ​

-- Wanna Do a Fight Scene. ​

If you can imagine it - you can write it. The easiest way is by doing it in LAYERS.

A Quick and Dirty Method:
Writing Action Scenes in Layers

Start with a List of ACTIONS
and their following REACTIONS.

Don’t Forget! ~ Actions ALWAYS go Before Reactions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
List of ACTIONS 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- IMPORTANT! Each Character gets their own paragraph. NEVER clump the separate actions of two different characters in the same paragraph or the reader will get confused as to who is doing what very quickly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

​Will lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.​​ 

 

Jack caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab.​​

 

Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. 

 

​​Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target.​ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Add DIALOGUE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

​

"You're dead meat!" Will lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.​

​

Jack caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. "I don't think so!"​​ 

 

Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!"​​ 

 

Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. "You're gonna have to do a lot better than that."​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Add EMOTION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

​

"You're dead meat!" Will bared his teeth and lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.​​

 

Jack snorted in derision and caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. He smiled. "I don't think so!" 

 

​​Startled, Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!" 

 

​​Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. He chuckled. "You're gonna have to do a lot better than that."​ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Add INTERNAL NARRATION. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Pick ONE character in that scene and add only THAT character's internal observations -- no others! (More than one POV in a scene is known as HEAD-HOPPING.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

​

"You're dead meat!" Will bared his teeth and lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.​

​

Jack snorted in derision and caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" The kid certainly had guts. Too bad he didn't have the skill to go with it. Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. He smiled. "I don't think so!"​

​

Startled, Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!"​

​

Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. He chuckled, knowing it would piss the kid off. "You're gonna have to do a lot better than that." He was hoping the kid would figure out that he was out-matched and just bolt. He didn't like killing those that didn't actually deserve to die.​

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seriously, if you can imagine it - you can write it.

Having problems imagining it?
- Watch a few MOVIES.


Morgan Hawke ☕
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Action & the Evil "As"

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WRESTLING with WRITING

Getting the Frikkin Story on PAPER!

Okay, you have your characters set up and, you have your plot outlined. It's time to put the words on paper.

ACTION!

All Actions MUST happen in Chronological order.
The only way to write down any event in your story is in Chronological order. Seriously.
- Like this:

1. Something happened.
2. The POV Character's immediate physical reaction. (jump, scream, flinch, duck, gasp)
3. What the POV Character sensed. (saw, heard, smelled, tasted, felt)
4. The POV Character's Emotional reaction / introspection. (happy, sad, pissed, horny)
5. How the POV Character responded. (dialogue, action)
6. What happened next.

In that specific order. Every single time. Every single sentence.  

You can skip steps - but you cannot change the order without muddying the visuals for the reader.

More on Action?
Go To: Writing SEX Action - Technique & Structure

POV = ATTITUDE + ACTION

When you are in tight POV, everything the character sees and experienced should be flavored with that character’s Attitude.

If Oscar the Grouch is looking at a bed of roses, what is going through his head is not going to resemble what would be going through Big Bird’s head. If you are in Oscar’s POV, the way you would write the description of those roses would reflect how he saw them.

Attitude Alone (AKA - Internal Narration):

Oscar could not believe that someone had the gall to drop his comfy garbage can in the middle of a disgustingly bright mound of flowers. At least they were roses. He could almost stand something that closely resembled a heaped snarl of barbed wire, if it weren’t for those eye-searing explosions of hideous pink. To make matters worse their stench was overwhelmingly sweet. He just knew that it was going to take a whole week to get the smell out of his can. He seriously considered heaving, just to have something more comforting to smell.

Boring. NOTHING is happening.

BUT – Oscar would not sit there and Contemplate the roses, he would curl his lip and say something snotty.

Attitude + ACTION:

Oscar the Grouch popped out of his trash can. Serrated green leaves waved among slender and barbed branches around the mouth of his home. He gasped in horror. “What is this disgusting mess?”

He leaned out and looked around in disbelief. "Oh ugh, I'm surrounded. Somebody put my trash can in a revolting pile of... What are these? Roses?” He could almost stand something that closely resembled a heaped snarl of barbed wire, if it weren’t for those eye-searing explosions of hideous color. He curled his lip. “Pink, I hate pink.”

To make matters worse their stench was overwhelmingly sweet. “Oh, eww…the smell!" He slapped a fuzzy green hand over his fuzzy green nose. "It’s gonna take me a week to get that out’ta my can!” He felt his gorge rising. “I think I’m going to be sick. At least it’ll smell better.”

Not quite so boring this time.


Add some DESCRIPTION please?!
Go To: I want to SEE the Story-Damn it! ~ a RANT!
Go To: What's the Difference between SHOWING & TELLING?"

GRAMMAR Details

Separate each character’s actions.
The actions and dialogue of one character DO NOT belong in the Same Paragraph as another character's actions and dialogue - EVER!
 

The actions and dialogue of one character Do Not Overlap the actions and dialogue of another character in the Same Paragraph or visuals become muddied. It may look choppy on the page, but the reader has absolutely no doubt as to who is doing what.

The Reader's perceptions are more important than whether or not your type looks tidy.

A character's Dialogue stays WITH their Actions
- in the Same Paragraph!
 

It’s a cold and lonely world. Your dialogue should always be in the same paragraph as its corresponding actions; it shouldn’t be abandoned. You make a new paragraph for the NEXT character’s actions and dialogue.

(Where did that "abandoned dialogue" idea come from anyway? Does anyone know?)

Dialogue Tags - SUCK.
When you have an action with a line of dialogue

 – you DO NOT NEED DIALOGUE TAGS - AT ALL!
 

You already know, through the action, who is speaking. Dialogue tags are only ever needed when you don’t have any other way of identifying the speaker. If you have no other way of knowing who is speaking than dialogue tags, then you have committed the heinous crime of:

DIALOGUE IN A VACUUM
- also known as “talking heads syndrome”.
 

A book with nothing but reams of dialogue marked only by dialogue tags means that there is no action going on, there is no Picture. NOTHING IS HAPPENING. The mental movie has stopped and only the sound-track is playing in a vacuum, like a Radio Show with no sound effects. I don’t know about you, but when I go to read a book, I want to SEE what I'm reading like a movie, not listen to a radio show.

Action and body-language tags on dialogue are NOT just there for decoration.
 

Action tags keep the mental Movie rolling and the MEANING of what is being said crystal clear. A small simple action can tell you right away what's going through the speaker's head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. “I love you too.”
She dropped her chin and pouted. “I love you too.”
She glared straight at him. “I love you too.”
“I love you too.” She turned away and wiped the tear from her cheek.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dead give-away that dialogue is happening in a vacuum?
Look for dialogue tags, the word: SAID or any of its cousins: Spoke, Asked, Stated...etc.

Dialogue tags are a pet peeve of mine. I don’t use them. Ever.
Go To: Don't Need No Stinking "SAID" - a RANT!

Making Story HAPPEN

The fastest way to Start a story is...
– NOT at the Beginning.
 

Start your story within one page of Boy meets Girl (or Hero meets Trouble), with the story already in progress.

Don't bother with Back-story, also known as Info-Dumping. Use Dialogue to slip in clues to the characters' back-story and hints of what's going on in the world around them -- in the middle of all the action. This forces the reader to become an eavesdropper who MUST read on to find out: "What the heck is Really going on?"

The less you tell the readers, the more they'll want to read further to find out what's really happening. Make the reader WORK to discover why this vampire hunted this particular girl down, and why she isn’t running in screaming terror. Don’t give away the goodies until the reader is committed to your characters.

The saggy Middle...
- Is where the story’s REVERSAL goes.
 

Once you get to the middle, it's time for the Worst Case Scenario! The Middle is where Everything goes Terribly Wrong and the characters scramble to fix it, making everything WORSE.

Then comes the lowest point of the book, where they can’t possibly go any further. “We’re dead, we’re dead, we’re dead!” And then the Hero tries one last desperate thing…

Keep your Plot a SECRET until the bitter End!
- NEVER reveal ANYTHING until the Last Possible Moment!
 

The Easiest way to hide your plot -- and all your other shocking secrets, is by staying in ONE Point Of View (POV), rather than hopping from head to head.

When the main character - the POV character - is the ONLY character telling their thoughts to the reader, it's really easy to make the reader think one thing when in fact it's another!

(I don't care what other authors do, if you want to keep your plot a secret, you Don't put your readers in the heads of the characters plotting against your main POV character.)

The Final Battle!
- Shouldn’t be a total Win or a total Lose.
 

Winning should come with a cost, and Losing should come with an unexpected bonus. For some odd and unexplainable reason, a total triumph seems to be just as unsatisfying to the modern day reader as a total: “He dies, she dies, everybody dies…” Bittersweet seems to be the preferred flavor for an ending.

(I have no idea WHY the majority of my readers seem to prefer a balance of good and bad, but I do have the hate-mail to prove it.)

Where to End it?
- Where you began – back at square one.
 

Make the story a nice tidy loop. This tells the reader: “The next story is about to begin!”

• Sam Spade always ends up back in his office, ready to begin his next job.
• Alice comes back out of her rabbit hole – of course she’s being chased, but hey…!
• King Arthur sailed off in a tiny ship on the lake where he gained Excalibur, and his career as King began -- but he wasn’t dead. He could have come back. (Okay, so he didn’t come back -- but He COULD Have!)
• Even the classic Romances that end with a wedding party imply a new beginning.

What Don't I need in a Story?
- Only put in as much work as you Need To.
 

Think: SLACKER. 

 

The trick to knowing what to include in a story is whether or not you intend to actively USE it. If the character trait or object does not matter to the plot – skip it. If it doesn’t actively MOVE the Plot, (even a teeny bit,) you don’t need to use it -- or describe it.

The shorter the story the LESS room you have to work with, so the only details you need are what actually Changes the Plot. The same goes for character details. If the fact that your Hero's brother likes soccer a whole lot has no bearing on the plot, you don’t need to mention it.

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That's the Quick and Dirty version of how to Write a Story. If you want more details, I want begging and pleading. And make it GOOD.

Morgan Hawke
www.dakerotica.net
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