You Don't ALWAYS have to Show. Sometimes you Can TELL!

You Don't ALWAYS have to Show.

Sometimes you Can TELL!

 

Plot Pacing and Narrative Summary
By Randy Ingerman

Featuring: Harry Potter & the Philosopher's Stone
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If there's one thing that any writer is guaranteed to hear too many times, it's the dictum, "Show, Don't Tell."

There is a lot of truth to this rule of thumb. The purpose of fiction is to give the reader a Powerful Emotional Experience. And the best way to give the reader that Powerful Emotional Experience is by "showing" the good parts, rather than "telling" them.

In short, at the points of highest action in the story, you ramp up the pace by spending more words, "showing" everything in brilliant, Technicolor, slow-motion detail.

But, um, what about the boring parts? Should you "show" those too?

Some of my agent and editor friends have complained to me in recent years that the manuscripts they are seeing these days "show" too much. Sometimes, it just plain makes sense to "tell," rather than "show."

The technical term for "telling" is  

Narrative Summary.

In Narrative Summary, you summarize what happens, moving rapidly over time and sometimes distance. 

 

However, it isn't a good way to give your reader those emotional hits that every reader wants. In other words, Narrative Summary can be either a good choice or a bad choice. 

 

The key question to ask:

"What is the purpose of this passage?"

If the purpose of the passage is to give the reader some particular Powerful Emotional Experience, then showing" is probably your best option.

But if the purpose of the passage is to set the stage or to give the reader some essential facts or to get a character across town or across a country, then "telling" might be the better bet.

One of my favorite examples of "telling" is the opening of Book 1 in the Harry Potter series. The entire first page is all "telling." And it works.

Why does it work? Let's analyze it to see.

As I said before, the key question to ask is:  

 

What is the purpose of this passage?

In my view, the central problem early in the Harry Potter series is to get the reader to buy in to the concept that in this ordinary world of ours, there are people who are genetically capable of magic.

The natural question for the reader to ask is why nobody knows about these magical people. The reader needs to be led, step by step, to the conclusion that these magical folk are hiding out.

That is the premise for the entire series. If you can't buy into this premise, then the story just won't work for you.

There is a second problem that needs to be solved. The reader is going to wonder whether these genetically magical people might be the "bad guys." 

 

How can the reader be led to the conclusion that the magical folk are the "good guys?"

The solution is to introduce some exceptionally unsympathetic characters. 

 

The Dursley family, who are antagonistic to anything weird or magical. 

 

In the first chapter, Mr. Dursley sees a number of strange people ("weirdos") and some strange occurrences (owls in broad daylight). One of the weirdos even hugs Mr. Dursley and calls him a Muggle.

The Dursleys respond to this evidence by ignoring it.

The tactical problem is to present all this to the reader as quickly as possible, and then get on to the story.

How to do that?

The solution is Narrative Summary, which is very efficient.

Let's look at paragraph 1 of the story:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Randy sez: In two sentences, we have a broad portrait of the Dursleys.

• They are "proud," which instantly makes them a bit unlikable.
• They are "perfectly normal" -- which is pretty unnatural. Most people are abnormal in some way or another.

Most importantly, the Dursleys have no sense of mystery. That is their big failing. Part of being human is to be curious, to be capable of awe, to be inspired by the mysterious. The Dursleys might just as well be robots.

Let's move on to paragraph 2:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large moustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors. The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Randy sez:

• Mr. Dursley sounds quintessentially boring.
• Mrs. Dursley sounds like a gossip.
• Dudley sounds like a brat.

Notice that we aren't "told" these things. We deduce them.

• We are "told" that Mr. Dursley is director of a drill company, and we deduce that he has a boring job.
• We are "told" that Mrs. Dursley cranes her neck over fences, spying, and we deduce that she's a gossip.
• We are told that Dudley is considered the finest boy anywhere, and we deduce that he's as spoiled as last year's milk.

This is a key point in making Narrative Summary interesting -- tell the facts and let the reader make the value judgments. Readers prefer to make value judgments for themselves, rather than being told what to feel about the characters.

Now we come to paragraph 3, and this is the key to making this chapter succeed.

Here are the first three sentences:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters. Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister, but they hadn't met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister, because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as unDursleyish as it was possible to be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This sets the hook for the reader. Every reader is interested in secrets. Every reader is interested in fears.

When we learn that these wretched Dursleys have a secret fear, we must know it. When we learn that the Dursleys are ashamed of the Potters, we must hear more. When we learn that the Potters are the exact opposite of the Dursleys, we instantly like them, because we already dislike the Dursleys.

So there you have it. In just two and a half paragraphs of Narrative Summary, we are prepared to meet the "weirdo" Potters and to like them. We are prepared for them to be mysterious and different. We are even prepared to understand why they might conceal some of their oddities -- because of people like the Dursleys who hate anything mysterious or strange.

This sets the stage for solving the two problems I discussed above. 

1. As the first chapter unfolds, we learn that the Potters have been murdered, but their son Harry has mysteriously survived.  

1. We see a number of "weirdos" who use magic as if it were perfectly natural.

By the end of the chapter, most readers have bought the premise of the story -- there is a hidden society of people with genetically magical abilities. One of those people, young Harry Potter, is extraordinary, even among these magical people. He ought to be dead, but he isn't. Harry is "the boy who lived." Therein lies something deep and mysterious. Why did Harry live?

And the story is launched.

If that isn't an effective use of Narrative Summary, then I don't know what is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Award-winning novelist Randy Ingermanson, "the Snowflake Guy," publishes the Advanced Fiction Writing E-zine every month. 

 

Posted with Permission.  

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13 Hours ~ the Fairytale Heroine's Journey

13 Hours
The Fairytale Heroine's Journey

There is a ton of information on the Heroic Cycle, or Hero's Journey, but what about the Heroine's?

Being a female that prefers to write stories with a female lead, I decided to do a bit of my own research into the myths and fairy tales that feature Heroines rather than heroes. What I found was a little...startling. 

While many things in the Hero's Journey still apply, Her journey is not quite the same as His because the path the Heroine takes through the labyrinth is guided by her Heart not her head--or her sword. 

There are Thirteen stages
in the Fairy Tale Heroine's Journey.
Thirteen Hours in Her clock of Adventure.
One for each full moon in a year. 

Fair Warning: The fairy tale examples used here are my opinionated interpretations of the oldest and Grimmest versions I know.

1. Once Upon a Time ~ Betrayal
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Too pretty, too smart, too loyal, too friendly, too obedient, too good at housekeeping, or sewing, or spinning, or making the flowers grow--someone in her family is always Jealous of the Fairy Tale Heroine's happiness. 

This results in Betrayal by those closest to Her -- her own Family. 

Though the root cause is usually an aging female relative, her male relatives betray her too through Neglect; Cinderella, by offering her in marriage to save their own necks; Beauty & the Beast, or just plain selling her for cold hard cash; Rumplestiltskin.

• Snow White, Cinderella, Psyche, and Vasilisa were so pretty they inspired jealousy in the other women they lived with.
• Beauty's father steals a flower and the cost is taking Beauty as his wife.  
• The father of Rumpelstiltskin's maiden bragged ridiculously about her until he was finally told to prove it, or die.
• The princess in the Goose Girl was too rich and, too Passive, for her maid; very likely a younger sister, to resist bullying.
• Rapunzel's mother couldn't get enough parsley.
• Bluebeard's wife, on the other hand, was out to get him.

2. Messenger ~ Bearer of Bad News
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A sympathetic friend, a guilty family member, a gloating enemy, or a magical object reveals the crime, promise, or debt for which she is being held accountable, and the deadly danger she's being sent into.

• The Huntsman tells Snow White that her stepmother wants her heart, among other internal body parts--to eat.
• Cinderella's stepsisters brag that all the chores she's been given are specifically to keep her too busy to make a ball gown for herself.
• Beauty's father finally reveals that he has been asked to trade her life for his--and blames her request for a flower that he stole.
• In Rumpelstiltskin, the maiden's father sends her to the castle knowing full well that she cannot do as he bragged, and will die.
• A witch offers to buy Rapunzel from her mother for a sheaf of parsley.
• In the Goose Girl, the talking horse, Falada, tells the princess that her maid intends to betray them both.
• Vasilisa's stepsister brags that she won't be coming back with a live coal to light their fire because the witch, Baba Yaga, will eat her.
• A letter from her sister tells Bluebeard's future wife that the man killed her--and why.

3. Refusal of the Call ~ Obedience to the Call
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unlike her male counterpart the Hero, the fairy tale Heroine either doesn't want to refuse the Call to Adventure, or isn't allowed to. She may argue, fight, weep bitterly, or bolt outright, but someone's life or honor is usually, if not always, on the line--frequently her own. Ruled by her heart rather than her head, she has no choice but to answer it.

On a side note, when these stories were originally told back during the Dark Ages, women were taught from early childhood that to be considered Feminine and worthy of praise, they must be passive, faithful, and obedient. Only men were allowed a Choice. 

• Cinderella knew exactly what she wanted and went right after it--a prince and escape from her step-mother's home. However, her stepmother and stepsisters didn't have any problem refusing the Call to Adventure for her--by ripping up the gown she'd painstakingly sewn, and giving her a task she must fulfill.
• Beauty sneaks out of the house and takes off for the Beast's lair. Supposedly against her father's will, but the man put off returning while lamenting his fate, and guilt-tripping the entire family the entire time. 
• Rapunzel's father refused quite a bit, but her mother was thoroughly addicted to the witch's parsley.  She had no problem trading her daughter for her drug of choice. (Makes one wonder if it was actually parsley, no?)
• The princess who became the Goose Girl couldn't do anything about her maid's bullying--royal etiquette wouldn't allow for it.
• Vasilisa considered refusing, but her dead mother's magic doll advised her that going to see Baba Yaga was the right choice.
• In Bluebeard, the maiden deliberately sought him out because she wanted revenge for her sister's murder.
• In another version, he refused her because of her youth. She actually had to drop her clothes to prove she (had pubic hair) was old enough to marry.
• In yet another version, he sought her out specifically because she was the sister of his last wife. 

4. Magical Helpers & Costly Gifts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Magical Being comes offering gifts, but those gifts have a strict time limit, or must be paid for in blood. 

Some Magical Beings are kindly Mentors that actually care for the Heroine and want to see her happy, but many more are dangerous Tricksters that want whatever they can get out of the Heroine. Occasionally, a Trickster such as Baba Yaga can become a Mentor, but that takes a lot of pretty impressive work on the Heroine's part.

The magical being could be:

• A fairy. 
• A little manikin, such as Rumplestiltskin. 
• A dwarf or a set of dwarves.   
• Birds or other small woodland animal. 
• A talking animal. 
• A magical tree.  
• A witch.  

The gift could be:

• A gown, slippers, and transportation to a ball--for a few short hours.
• The favor of weaving straw into gold--in trade for just a kiss, at first.
• Magically long hair--in trade for staying indoors.
• A curse of sleep--that needs True Love's Kiss to escape.  
• A spell to call the breeze and another to make a dead animal's head talk--given by a dying mother.
• A family heirloom doll that talks -- but must be fed, and kept hidden.
• A glowing skull--that one mustn't look into the eyes.
• A golden key--to a room that mustn't be opened.

In all cases, there is a life-altering price on such gifts. 

Sometimes the payment is an important identifying trinket, such as; a ring, a necklace, or a handkerchief from a noble dead parent, but more often it's a promise to be delivered later, or a first kiss--meaning her virginity. Occasionally it's a body part, such as; her voice, her hair, her finger, her hands, or her firstborn child--the medieval euphemism for continued sexual favors until she gives birth. In other words, a common law marriage.

This scene can be played out as a rescue, which usually includes the demand of a reward such as a kiss--the symbol for a sexual relationship.
~~~~~~~~~~

• Snow White is released by the Huntsman. The price for his silence is a kiss before she can escapes into the forest. 
• Psyche is saved from a fall off the cliffs by an invisible Eros and is carried off to be his lover, but not his wife.
• Rumpelstiltskin spins gold to save his maiden from certain death on the sword of the greedy king--at the eventual price of a child. 

This scene can also be played straight.
~~~~~~~~~~

• From her mother's grave, the earliest Cinderella gains a heavenly maiden's robes, tiny fur slippers, and a magical clay horse. (The earliest Cinderella is Chinese!)
• In another version, the gifts include a shoes, a dress, and a coach that come from a fairy godmother. 
• In yet another version, a tree that grows from her mother's grave gifts her with three different gowns. 
• In still another version, she is gifted a branch with three hazel nuts from her mostly absentee father, and they yield a huntsman's garb, a ball gown plus glass slippers, and a wedding gown.
• Beauty walks sneaks out of the house at night to go to the Beast's castle to pay for her father's life with her own.
• Red Riding Hood is advised by a wolf to pick flowers before going to her grandmother's house.
• Lonely Rapunzel happily accepts small gifts and conversation from a prince who visits her tower.
• Accompanied by her talking nesting doll, the ever obedient Vasilisa marches off into the snowy forest to find Baba Yaga's chicken-legged hut so she can ask for a few live coals to light her step-mother's hearth.
• In every version of Bluebeard, he gives his wife a golden object designed to betray her.  

Or in Reverse.
~~~~~~~~~~

• The princess in the Goose Girl is forced by etiquette to submit to her maid's bullying--losing her wealth, her mother's proof of nobility, her horse, and her clothing.

5. Key to the Labyrinth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She gives in to temptation and takes the offered gift, crossing the gateway into the Labyrinth and committing herself to a path where there is no turning back. 

• Cinderella takes off in a magical coach or on a magical horse for the ball. 
• Beauty rides a magical horse to the Beast's magic estate. 
• The brow-beaten princess rides her maid's nag to the king's castle and is given a servant's job, becoming a Goose Girl. 
• Snow White follows the birds through the forest. 
• Red Riding Hood walks off the path and into a meadow to pick flowers.  
• Rumplestiltskin's maiden sleeps while he works. 
• Rapunzel lowers her hair so her prince can come visit. 
• Obedient Vasilisa works outside while her magical doll explores the secrets of Baba Yaga's hut, shielding Vasilisa from things too dangerous to know. 

6. Secret Allies, Secret Enemies 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Entry to the labyrinth has been gained, but there's another, even more dangerous task or temptation to deal with. Another gift is offered with an even higher price-tag, a more chilling promise. She has every intention of fulfilling her bargain, but she has secret enemies.

• Snow White has survived the forest and arrived at the home of the seven dwarves. All they ask is that she do their housework and let no one in.
• Cinderella arrives at the ball to seduce her prince, but must also avoid her attending relatives. She doesn't have much time, so she gives him a kiss; her virginity, then flees, leaving one tiny slipper behind.
• In Beast's home, the invisible servants whisper that all is not what it seems. 
• Psyche arrives at a palace in the clouds, but promises not to look at her new lover.
• In the third and final room of straw. Rumpelstiltskin's maiden promises her first born child--a common law marriage--to the manikin that helped her.
• Red Riding Hood has to follow Grandmother's instructions--to get into bed with her.
• Rapunzel's pregnancy by her prince is becoming too noticeable to hide.
• The Goose Girl, has sworn to never reveal what happened to her to another living thing. Being a true noble, she cannot break her promise. 
• Baba Yaga offers to answer Vasilisa's questions. Luckily, the doll did all the housework, so Vasilisa saw nothing she wasn't supposed to. 
• Bluebeard's wife searches for the forbidden door.

7. Treachery ~ Broken Vows
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Through trickery, lies, theft, temptation, ignorance, or outright wilfulness, her promise is broken.

• Even after needing to be rescued from a poisoned comb and a poisoned corset, Snow White bites into an apple offered by the same stranger. 
• Beast finally allows Beauty a visit home, but she must return by a certain day.  
• Cinderella has come home and hides the other shoe.
• Beauty's sisters jealously steal her magic ring delaying her to return to the Beast.
• Psyche's lover is revealed by candle light to be beautiful beyond compare.
• Rumpelstiltskin's maiden marries the prince--instead of leaving with the dwarf.
• Red Riding Hood talks to a wolf.
• Rapunzel lets her prince climb up into her tower--more than once.
• When the Goose Girl's talking horse is killed, the Goose Girl offers gold to the local knacker to nail Falada's head over a certain bridge. She then proceeds to speak to him daily--right in front of the already suspicious goose boy.
• Bluebeard's wife enters the secret door to find a horrifying scene, but keeps the tattle-tale item secure and clean of evidence. 

Or not.
~~~~~~~~~~

• Despite several dangerous tasks, one of which is cleaning the interior of Baba Yaga's house, Vasilisa doesn't pry or ask questions because her doll does all the dangerous tasks, she sees nothing she isn't supposed to.

8. CRASH Point ~ Center of the Labyrinth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aware that she must pay the price for her broken vow, she bravely goes forth to--find a way to dodge the consequences.

• The dwarves dodge the rotting of Snow White's corpse by putting her in a clear crystal casket.
• Beauty puts off returning to her Beast.
• The prince announces that he is looking for a woman that fits a certain sized slipper.
• Psyche dodges death by throwing herself at Aphrodite's feet and swearing she'll do anything to get her lover Eros back.
• Rumpelstiltskin's maiden dodges giving him her child by asking for a way around her promise. She then sends huntsmen all over the kingdom to secretly discover the dwarf's name.
• Red Riding Hood dodges death by asking to go to the privy. She then secretly ties the rope around her ankle to a tree branch, or a goat.
• Rather than admit she's pregnant, Rapunzel dodges the truth by telling the witch that she ate too much.
• Before the king, the Goose Girl reveals that she is being held by a vow of silence--which makes her look even more suspicious. A peasant wouldn't bother to keep such a vow, only a princess would. He advises her to talk to a fireplace--while he listens at the chimney. She does so, dodging her own promise.
• Bluebeard's wife dodges death by keeping the tattle-tale item clean of blood. In the meantime, she writes her father about what she saw. 
• Vasilisa's ability to accomplish miracles and keep her mouth shut surprises Baba Yaga. Suspicious, the old woman asks how Vasilisa accomplished all her tasks. Vasilisa dodges the truth by saying that it was with Her Mother's Blessing, meaning her doll. 

9. Ordeal ~ The Darkest Hour
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She faces her greatest fear and death. Unfortunately, she doesn't have any actual weapons at her disposal but her wits. Back then, women weren't allowed to touch things like swords or knives. Fighting wasn't feminine.

• Snow White' crystal casket is carried off by a necrophiliac prince.
• Cinderella's growing waistline is noticed, but she reuses to tell her family who the father is. During the prince's visit with her shoe, she is locked in the attic.
• Beauty returns to the Beast, but he seems dead.
• To gain Aphrodite's approval, Psyche goes to the kingdom of the dead to fetch something from Persephone, the Queen of Death.
• Rumpelstiltskin's maiden goes through name after name with the dwarf while her spies comb the kingdom.
• Red Riding Hood runs.
• The king has his wife's women clean up the Goose Girl and dress her as befitting her station.
• Bluebeard's wife's entertains her suspicious husband while waiting for her brothers to arrive.
• Vasilisa's diligent work and obedience is rewarded by a kiss of protection on her brow. She is then given permission to take one of the skulls for fire, but she must not touch it, or look directly into its eyes.
• In another version, Baba Yaga asks a question of her own: "Why go back?" Vasilisa's reply: "I want them to love me." Baba Yaga responds by grabbing her and dunking her into a vat of gold. Not only has her dress turned to gold, she comes out blonde and milky-skinned. Most remarkably, when she speaks, gold coins and jewels fall from her lips. She is then advised to face the crowing rooster at the gate.

10. Rewards & Punishments
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If she survives the Ordeal, she is rewarded with release from the heart of the labyrinth--or punished by expulsion. Either way, she is permanently marked by her experience.

• Snow White's crystal casket is dropped by an annoyed servant. The apple stuck in Snow White's throat is jarred loose, allowing her to awaken.
• Cinderella escapes the attic and finally gets the chance to reveal her other slipper--and her growing belly to her prince.
• Beast awakens and turns into a handsome young man.
• Aphrodite tells Psyche to "go home." The wind carries her away. 
• Rumpelstiltskin's maiden finally hears back from one of her huntsmen.
• Red Riding reaches home and reports to her family what happened. 
• Rapunzel is shorn of her hair and thrown from the tower for preferring a man. Shortly afterward, the witch catches the prince, blinds him, and throws him out of the tower too.
• The Goose Girl attends a feast at the king's table. The king asks the imposter what punishment a servant pretending to be a noble should receive. Spotting the Goose Girl at the table, the impostor gives a chilling answer. 
• Vasilisa 
• Bluebeard's wife's father and brothers finally arrive.

11. Release from the Labyrinth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She heads back to the Ordinary World with a mission to accomplish. At the last threshold, she replays her very first act of commitment, a keepsake gift, a vow, or a kiss.

• Snow White kisses her astonished (and possibly disappointed) prince.
• Cinderella leaves with her prince.
• Beast and his castle finally rejoin the mortal world.
• Psyche goes home to find Eros on the cliff where she first met him. Unable to live without him, she jumps off the cliff. He rescues her again.
• Rumpelstiltskin's maiden finally says thank you and uses his name.
• Free at last from the tower, though bald and saddled with twins, Rapunzel goes looking for her blinded prince.
• Awakened by her twins suckling for milk, Briar Rose, the Sleeping Beauty rises from her long sleep to go looking for the man that knocked her up while she was unconscious.  
• The Goose Girl turned Princess once more, attends the local King's wedding feast for his son--who was supposed to be her bridegroom.
• Vasilisa's family look into the skull's eyes and are burned clean away. 
• In another version, her family is thrilled with their new wealth--and jealous that Vasilisa is more beautiful than ever. 
• At the gate where she arrived, Bluebeard's wife meets her brothers and leads them straight to the bloody chamber.

12. Confrontation & Rebirth ~ Parties & Payback
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She returns to face her original betrayer. She needs them to acknowledge what they have done to her. This scene is often played out as a visit to her home in her bridal finery and a huge feast. However, this is also when the wicked are punished.

• At Snow White's wedding, her mother dances to death in molten iron shoes.
• At Cinderella's wedding, her stepmother and stepsisters lose their eyes to Cinderella's friends the birds.
• Beauty invites her family to the castle to meet her new and extremely handsome husband.
• Psyche's rumour-mongering sisters are transformed into birds.
• Rumpelstiltskin rips himself in half.
• In another version Rumpelstiltskin literally throws himself into her body (a poorly euphemistic rape,) right in front of the whole court. He's ripped out of her--and in half--by her angry Prince husband.
• In the Goose Girl, the false princess is given the punishment she proscribed herself.
• Vasilisa buries the skull to keep it from harming anyone else, then takes her wealth and moves to town.
• In the other version, Vasilisa's stepsister is so envious of Vasilisa's golden appearance--and the jewels she literally coughs up, she marches off to spend time with Baba Yaga herself, only she ends up in a vat of pitch. She comes out black-haired, dark-skinned, and spewing slugs and toads when she speaks. At the gate, when she looks away from the rooster she faces an ass and gains a donkey's tail on her brow.
• Bluebeard is hacked to pieces.

13. The Last Promise and Ever After
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After all her final goodbyes are said, she returns to the Labyrinth to take her place there and receives one last gift, normally a crown or wealth, and makes one final promise. Sometimes it's merely a wedding vow, sometimes it's not.

• Snow White, Cinderella, Beauty, the Goose Girl, Rapunzel, the Sleeping Beauty, and Rumpelstiltskin's maiden all become queens who vow to rule wisely.
• Psyche accompanies her husband Eros to Olympus and becomes a demi-goddess who vows to stay by his side forever.
• Vasilisa's cleverness is noticed and she becomes advisor to the Tsar. She vows to always tell the truth.
• In another version, she merely makes her family rich enough to move into town where she ends up meeting a rich merchant's son. After yet another spiteful trick from her step-family, she marries him.
• Bluebeard's widow uses his gold to give every woman in the bloody chamber a proper burial and takes over his castle, but vows never to marry again.

So how does one use something like this for Writing?

Consider this a Plot Arc, a map of the major turning points in a story. You can use it to plot the major turning points in any sort of heroine based adventure story, but it's far more effective as Romance Journey for navigating Love, not life -- and not necessarily purely for females.

Act One
~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Upon a time ~ Betrayal 

Their own body betrays them by wanting sex -- and love.

2. Messenger ~ Bearer of Bad News 

"That person Likes you!"

3. Refusal of the Call ~ Obedience to the Call

"Let's go see them!"

4. Mentors, Tricksters & Costly Gifts 

"What should I wear?" 
"What should I do, or give them, to like me?" 

Act Two
~~~~~~~~~~~~
5. Enter the Labyrinth 

First Encounter ~ First Date

6. Secret Allies, Secret Enemies

Dating & Rivals.

7. Treachery ~ Broken Vows 

"They haven't told you everything."

Act Three
~~~~~~~~~~~~
8. CRASH Point ~ Center of the Labyrinth 

Spying, Prying, and Stalking--oh my!

9. Ordeal ~ The Darkest Hour 

They know that You know that They know...

10. Rewards & Punishments 

To Trust and go on, or Not to trust and dump them?

Act Four
~~~~~~~~~~~~
11. Release from the Labyrinth 

Confessions & Consequences

12. Confrontation & Rebirth ~ Parties & Payback 

Showing off the new Lover (spouse) 
in front of the Old lover (spouse).

13. The Last Promise and Ever After 

Marriage or...?

Simply fill in the blanks.

Wait, FOUR Acts, not Three?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Correct. The Fourth Act is the main character's resurrection from their Ordeal, their rebirth and exit from the labyrinth. Only Tragedies finish at the end of a Third Act because the main character (or the relationship) does not survive the Ordeal.

Enjoy!

Morgan Hawke

Faery Tale ~ A Visual Novel

 Faery Tale
A Romantic Fantasy Visual Novel
Story & Graphics by Morgan Hawke

The faery tale the fair maiden ends up in depends entirely on your choices!

Creative Narrative - A Description EXERCISE

Creative Narrative
A Description Exercise.

DESCRIPTION is the key to fleshing out ANY scene if you want the Reader to see in their minds the scene you envisioned when you wrote it.

Especially Sex Scenes.

Don't just call it 'juice'...

Describe HOW the moisture Looks while sliding in slender rivulets down the inside of her thigh, THEN describe how it feels physically, THEN how the character feels emotionally about the fact that they're dripping from excitement.

1. What it Looks & Feels like physically.
2. How they Feel about it emotionally.

You have FIVE senses -- USE THEM:
Texture, Flavor, Appearance, Sound, Aroma

The glistening moisture slid in slender rivulets down the inside of her thigh. The coolness of the moisture tickled in contrast to the warmth of her skin. Because her skirt was so short, her excitement was clearly visible to anyone who happened to be looking. Her cheeks filled with embarrassed warmth and she lowered her gaze, not wanting to know who might be staring at her, aware that she was aroused. 

"So how do you DO that sort of writing?"

The same way you do anything; you PRACTICE. 


Exercise in Writing DESCRIPTION

Stage 1:

Watch a Movie

 

 For this exercise, you will need the movie Sin City. If you don't have it, The Matrix or Equilibrium will do.

• WATCH the movie undisturbed from beginning to end.
• NO INTERRUPTIONS.

Watch where the Camera looks. ​

Sin City in particular is a brilliant example of how to describe using pictures. The movie is filmed in black and white with splashes of color only where the viewer's eye needs to be.

When a character is first introduced, LOOK at how the camera starts in Close Focus then pulls back to reveal the character's body; lovingly showing the viewer exactly what the character looks like, AND their distinguishing characteristics from top to bottom.

THEN the view expands wider, or pans around the character to disclose where that character is and what they are doing at that moment.

After those first few moments of sheer View, you get a narrative from the Point of View character, which may Not be the character the camera is showing you. You get the narrator's opinions, their feelings, and their delusions. THAT is how the viewer (the reader) learns about the character.

Once the movie is over, put on some music that fits the movie. (I actually have the soundtracks, to these.)

Next! Break out your remote control and Watch The Same Movie AGAIN -- but this time, with the volume OFF.

Sit on your couch and Out-Loud, Narrate what you are looking at. Do NOT Write anything.

Just talk to the TV screen Out Loud and Describe --in detail-- what you are looking at as though it was a book you were reading.

• Describe the Characters.
• Describe the Actions.
• Describe the Fight Scenes.
• Describe the Kisses.
• Describe the Backgrounds and Setting -- including the rooms and weather conditions!

Use your remote control and STOP the scene where you have difficulty describing what you are seeing. Work at it until the words come to you. They don't have to be perfect. CLOSE IS good enough for this exercise.

In a Nutshell:

• Describe Out-Loud what you SEE
• Do NOT Write anything down.
• Keep Going until the movie is Over.

This should help loosen up a few things in your writing mind -- and give you some strong visuals to write from later.

Next!

Stage 2:

Write a 1000 word Scene that introduces a character of YOURS.

 

Make sure you picture the scene in your mind with the same dramatic camera angles and close-ups the movie and Describe it so that anyone Reading it can clearly see it.

Compare that scene with any introductory scene in a story you've already written and SEE the difference.

Just so you know, this is an exercise I created to make my own writing more Visual back when I first started writing. The movie I used was "The Lost Boys", the original 1984 version. It really helped my ability to describe in my stories.

Enjoy!

Morgan Hawke