Writing ACTION 2: The Plug & Play Method

From Blade of Evolution

Writing Action Scenes:​
The Plug & Play Method​
Writing ACTION 2​

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WARNING! This tutorial is NOT meant for those do Creative Writing.

This essay was originally written for writers seeking to be professionally published authors. As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.

If you are new to my tutorials, please read this one first:
The Secret to Proper Paragraphing and Dialogue
Certain things covered in this tutorial are based on that information.

 

 So you want a Quick way to write
Action Scenes?

Before we go there, did you read the first part of this series?

Writing ACTION 1:
The Trick to Writing Action Scenes that Work ​

You did? Great...!

Lets begin with a Review.

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The flash of pain exploded in my cheek from the slap her hand lashed out at me.
-- WRONG! 

Why is this Wrong?​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you were watching this scene as a movie, that sentence is NOT how you would have seen it happen.

 

Actual Sequence of events:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Her hand lashed out in a slap. [Action]
2) A flash of pain exploded in my cheek [Reaction]

 

ACTION Sequences = Chronological Order​

REALITY = something happens to you and…you react.
Action > Reaction = Chronological order


FICTION = the Plot happens to the characters and…they react.
Action > Reaction = Chronological order​

If you want the reader to SEE the actions that you are trying to portray, Chronological Order is the ONLY way to write that scene. In other words, if you visualize the characters doing something in a specific order, you write it in THAT order!

Violating chronological order is a Very Bad idea. If you knock the actions out of order, the reader’s Mental Movie STOPS because the reader has to STOP READING to rearrange the sentences into the correct order to get the movie back.


Before we go on, you also need to know about the Action scene's Worst Enemy...!

The Evil Nasty Vicious "As."​

In school, they teach you that "as" is a word used to connect fragments of sentences together, rather in the same way you would use “and.”

Unfortunately, “as” doesn’t quite work the same way as an “and” in fiction.

“As” means; “things that happened simultaneously.”​

“And” means; “this happened too.”​

In Fiction NOTHING is truly simultaneous because the eye READS only one word at a time. The only things that can actually be counted as simultaneous in written fiction are groups of things.

Example:

All the soldiers marched.​

IMPORTANT!​

~~~~~~~~~~~~​

I'm NOT saying that simultaneous events CAN'T be written! I’m saying that using "as" is not the way to do it. Any group of events listed in one sentence are generally perceived as happening all at the same time -- until you get to the "and". However, they should still be listed --using the Serial Comma-- so as to make the reader's VISION of the whole event crystal clear.​

As far as I'm concerned, the only place an “as” belongs is at the BEGINNING of a sentence--

As all the soldiers marched, the drums and fifes played.​

Or in a comparison.

As black as pitch.​

See?

Where “As” goes WRONG​

I consider “as” a red flag word. A word that marks that something has gone terribly wrong in your sentence structure.

What went Wrong?​

 

In fiction, the word “as” usually marks where a sentence has gone out of Chronological Order.

Example:

The vampire scratched his head thoughtfully as he crouched over his victim.​

Think: Which actions actually happened first?

1. The vampire crouched over his victim.​

2. He scratched his head thoughtfully.​

The chronological way to write this would be:

The vampire crouched over his victim AND scratched his head thoughtfully.​

Why does this matter?​

 

A sentence Out of Chronological Order means that the reader has to Stop Reading to reset their mental movie of your story. That’s bad, very, very, BAD.

Do this enough times and your reader will stop reading your story to go find something easier to imagine. In fact, some readers will not only drop your story, never to read it again, they’ll avoid anythingelse you write.

How to Grammar Check for “as”:​

Do a Search/Replace substituting “as” for “and,” then go back and read through your entire work. If “and” doesn’t fit right in your sentence, then it’s most likely Out of Chronological Order.

Example:

The werewolf flattened his ears angrily as he faced the hunter.​

Search/Replace with "and":

The werewolf flattened his ears angrily and he faced the hunter.​

“And” doesn’t quite work there, does it?

Why not?

The werewolf didn’t flatten his ears before he faced the hunter.

So! Which actions actually happened first?

​

1. The werewolf faced the hunter.​

2. He was angry.​

3. He flattened his ears.​

Adjusted:

The werewolf faced the hunter and he angrily flattened his ears.​

Now the “he” doesn’t fit, so let’s chop that out.

One more time:

The werewolf faced the hunter and angrily flattened his ears.​

See what I mean? The word “As” is a devious sinister monster that should be destroyed on sight.


Now, on to the good stuff!

Writing Action Scenes​
The "Plug & Play" Method​

Life is full of random events. FICTION is NOT. Every element in a story – every character, every situation, and every object, must be there for a REASON, and have a Reason to Be There. NOTHING happens “just because” – especially actions.

The Magic Formula!​

1 Stimulus
2 Physical Reaction
3 Sensory Reaction 

4 Emotional Reaction ​
5 Deliberate Reaction​ 

 

This order is Very specific. You may Skip steps, but you may Not Change the Order.

1) Stimulus
-- Something happens TO the character. (Action).

2) Physical Reaction
-- The character has a knee-jerk Physical Reaction to what has just happened. (Reaction)

3) Sensory Reaction
-- The character feels Physical Sensations and physically reacts to the sensations. (Reaction)

4) Emotional Reaction
-- THEN they have an Emotional Reaction reflected in their thoughts and/or a comment about what had just happened. (Reaction)

5) Deliberate Reaction
-- THEN they Respond. They DO something about that action. (Reaction)

1) NEW Stimulus
-- External Reaction of the OTHER person or an Outside event. (Action)

The Chain of REACTIONS in DETAIL​

1) Stimulus – Something Happened!​

 

It all begins with: Stimulus > Response, also known as Action > Reaction. Something happens, and the character reacts. It’s that simple.

Stimulus: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

Response: Sam ducked, and the dagger flew harmlessly past him.​

Or -- Sam was stabbed through the heart.
Or -- Sam caught it in his hand.
Or -- something of a similar, immediate response-nature.

WARNING! Confusion May Happen!

Consider this:

Stimulus: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

Response: Sam grinned. “My, what lovely weather we’re having!”​

Too many writers think the Reader will assume that the dagger missed Sam. 

 

Nope. I’m afraid that many, many readers will Not make that assumption at all.

This is a Plot Hole; a missing piece to an event triggered by the obvious question: What happened to the dagger?

I’m not saying you can’t have that lovely piece of dialogue, I’m saying that you have to show the rest of the stimulus-response FIRST.

Stimulus: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

Response: Sam caught the dagger in his palm, raised his brow at Joe, and smiled thinly. “My, what lovely weather we’re having.”​

2) Physical Reaction – The Flinch​

 

Something happens. Your character reacts instinctively. They duck, they flinch, they dodge, they gasp, they choke, they pass out.

In real life, physical actions usually happen before dialogue. The finger pulls the trigger then the shooter wonders, “Oh no, what have I done?”

Most people Act then comment because physical reactions happen faster than thought. Thought happens after the fist has already shot out. Ask any cop or martial artist.

Martial artists in particular are trained to Not Think when they fight --No Mind-- specifically to make their reaction time faster.​

Thoughts that come first FREEZE physical action. Not in the literary sense, for real. Most people stop whatever action they are doing, they pause to process that thought because few people can do both at once.

Fiction should not be any different. 

3) Sensory Reaction – Cold Chills​

 

Something just happened. What did it feel like, physically? How did they react physically to those sensations? 

 

Remember--! The Body reacts faster than the Mind! 

Sensory = of the 5 Physical Senses​

 Sight - what is Seen
Sound - what is Heard
Taste - what is Tasted
Texture - what is physically Felt
Scent - what is Smelled

Sensation Reaction is what they perceived through their senses.

It smelled like--​

It looked like--​

It sounded like--​

It felt like--​

It tasted like--​

And their PHYSICAL reaction to those sensations.

"It tasted like moldy socks, and I nearly retched.”​

​

USE THEM.

Stimulus: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

Response: Sam reached out to grab the dagger. (Physical Reaction) The pommel slapped sharply into his palm, stinging his hand. (Sensory Reaction) He winced. (Reaction to sensation)​

4) Emotional/Mental Reaction –“Oh, woe is me!”
Internal Conflict!​

 

Something just happened. How did that make your character Feel Emotionally: scared, happy, angry, lustful…? These emotional feelings are reflected internally immediately after the physical sensations that wracked their bodies with unwarranted stimuli. Ahem-- After they feel the physical effects of what just happened.

Additionally, internal observations, internal dialogue, and narration happens before they make a vocal remark.

Stimulus - Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

​

Response – Sam reached out to grab the dagger. The pommel slapped sharply into his palm, stinging his hand. He winced. (Internalization) He had known Joe was pissed at him, but he hadn’t thought he was that pissed.​

5) Deliberate Reaction – Retaliation!​

 

Something happened, your character has felt the effects, had a thought, and perhaps made a comment. So, what is your character going to do next?

A deliberate action designed for Retaliation! More commonly known as: Revenge.

Stimulus - Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

​

Response – Sam reached out to grab the dagger. The pommel slapped sharply into his palm, stinging his hand. He winced. He had known Joe was pissed at him, but he hadn’t thought he was that pissed. (Deliberate Reaction – intended to get a reaction out of Joe.) He raised his brow at Joe and smiled thinly. “My, what lovely weather we’re having!”​

Just to make things confusing – Dialogue can be a Response Reaction, an Internalization, an Emotional Reaction or a Deliberate Reaction! 

 

When in doubt, always put Dialogue AFTER a physical action. 

 

 

(Stupid gif won't load. Click to see the action.)

Plug & Play it!​
Fill in the blank!​

Key:

1 Stimulus - Something Happened​

2 Physical Reaction - Their body’s immediate physical reaction​

3 Sensory Reaction - The physical sensations and their effects​

4 Emotional Reaction - What they thought about what was happening​

5 Deliberate Reaction - How they responded​

1 NEW Stimulus - What happened next.​

-- In this order.​

External / something HAPPENED​

1) Stimulus - Physical Action / Action, dialogue or both

Will Turner stabbed his sword toward Jack Sparrow.​

Viewpoint Character’s Reaction:​

2) Response - Physical Reaction / Did they jump? Flinch? Catch the flying object?

Jack twisted to intercept the oncoming blade with his blade, rather than his body.​

3) Response - Sensory Reaction / The physical sensations and their effects.

The swords impacted with a jarring ring.​

4) Response – Emotional Reaction / Internal or Vocal Comment reflecting what they thought about what was happening.

“Will, this isn’t the brightest idea in the world. I don’t know if you noticed, but there are a bunch of cutthroat pirates in the next cave?”​

5) Response – Deliberate Reaction / What they did or said in retaliation.

He slid his sword up Will’s blade, waggled his brows, and smiled.​

 

External Reaction of the OTHER

  -- or an Outside event:​

 

1) NEW Stimulus - Physical Action/Action or dialogue or Action & then Dialogue.

Will flinched back and scowled. “I don’t care! I want to rescue her now!”​

On the Page...​

Will Turner lunged, stabbing his sword toward Jack Sparrow.

Jack twisted to intercept the oncoming blade with his blade, rather than his body. The swords impacted with a jarring ring. “Will this isn’t the brightest idea in the world. I don’t know if you noticed, but there are a bunch of cutthroat pirates in the next cave?” He slid his sword up Will’s blade and smiled.

Will flinched back and scowled. “I don’t care. I want to rescue her now!”

Don't Forget:​

Separate each character’s Actions from the other characters.

NO SHARING. Characters Do NOT share Sentences or Paragraphs ever! Put each individual characters' Actions and the Dialogue that goes with those actions in their own Paragraph. Having two people doing stuff in one paragraph makes the Reader's visuals muddy. The Reader's mental movie --your story-- comes to a screeching halt while they try to figure out what the hell just happened.​

 

*Refer to: The Secret to Proper Paragraphing and Dialogue

ACTION always goes BEFORE Thoughts & Comments. 

The body reacts faster than commentary thoughts. Ask any martial artist. A REACTIONARY Comment: "Ouch!" Can go first because it plays the part of an ACTION, rather than a thought.​ 

Refer to: The Trick to Writing Action Scenes that Work

ONE Point of View Only for an entire Scene!
(Especially Beginners!)

POV switching happen when you change scenes. No Head-hopping! It gets really confusing as to who is doing and feeling what if two people or more are all thinking a feeling in one scene. Pick a POV character and stick with it for the whole scene.​

 

Refer to: The Trick to Writing Action Scenes that Work

Use crap-loads of Adjectives to describe sensations.

Description thrives on purple prose! Make every adjective highly opinionated to get the reader right into the action as though they are experiencing it.​ 

 

Refer to: Is Description Really Needed? YES.

 

In Conclusion:​

 

After figuring all this out the hard way, I discovered that this whole routine (Action > Reaction) is explained in exquisite detail in: Scene and Structure by Jack Bickham. Google is your friend. 

Morgan Hawke ☕