Just say NO to
Author Intrusion:

Also known as:
Breaking the Fourth Wall.

The Fourth Wall is the Audience.

Every time the Author addresses their story's audience --their Readers-- during the story, they are violating the fourth dimension, or wall, of that story's Reality. Those violations are known as: Author Intrusions.

Author Intrusions show up as little comments that express the author's personal feelings on what's happening in their story, or heavily hint at things to come.

Author Intrusions are a Bad Idea.

Author Intrusions jar the Reader out of the mental movie they've generated while reading because the Author keeps rudely shoving them out of the story to remind them that They know something the Reader doesn't.

Compare it to watching a movie you haven't seen before with a friend that won't shut up about how cool the next scene is. 

 

See this shit? This is Author Intrusion. 

Identifying Author Intrusions:

The most common form of Author Intrusion is when the writer plants overly-obvious hints of things to come addressed directly to the Reader.

Examples:

• In hindsight, he would be thankful for his overreaction.
• Unfortunately, his choices had truly never been his own.
• If only they'd realized how wrong they were.

These are normally found at the end of a chapter, or book, but I've also seen them posted smack in the middle of a scene in progress. 

• They had no idea what consequences their choice would bring.
  

I have been told that these particular intrusions are meant to be a form of Foreshadowing.

This shit is NOT Foreshadowing.

True Foreshadowing symbolically hints at things to come. It Does Not point-blank TELL the Reader that something is coming.

• More on actual Foreshadowing: TV Tropes: Foreshadowing

I have also been told that this form of Author Intrusion is supposed to create suspense and entice the Reader to read the next installment.

This shit does NOT create Suspense either.

The truth is, this sort of cheap-assed teaser-spoiler Does Not add suspense because it entirely Removes the surprise factor of what is coming.

Suspense is about Anticipation. It's about waiting for 'the other shoe to fall'. When an author point-blank announces that there's another shoe, all that lovely anticipation is halved because the Reader now knows for a fact that this shoe WILL fall -- that something IS going to happen.

THINK: How can anyone be surprised if they're already expecting a surprise?

If you want to create Suspense, don't TELL the Reader outright that something is going to happen. Instead, SHOW IT by planting Clues; the butcher knife was missing from the kitchen drawer, and give Hints through ominous Sounds, creeping Shadows, character Body Language, and stilted Dialogue that something is going to happen. 

 

Authors:
Keep Your Opinions to Yourself!

The next most common form of Author Intrusion happens when the writer just can't keep their personal comments about certain characters, or what's happening in their story to themselves.

This is particularly virulent in fan-fics written by new writers who get over-excited about what they're writing.

Cut that shit out!

Literally, cut all that shit Out of your work.

Us readers do not want anyone interrupting our stories with their opinions, feelings, or comments about the story we're reading. That includes comments from the Author. Save that crap for the Author Notes.

However...  

"Lines like those (in my fan fiction anyway) are actually meant as red flags; a sort of, "Hey, pay attention, I'm doing something over here!" This is because, in the...years I've been writing fan fiction, I've noticed that the majority of 'new readers' (i.e. those new to fan fiction,) will not pay attention [to what they're reading] and will inundate me with questions that are easily answered if they did. With lines like those thrown in, the questions are fewer and I don't have to waste time explaining things that don't need explanations."

-- Annoyed FF Writer

While all that might sound like a good excuse -- it really Isn't.

When the author inserts comments about a character or situation happening right there in the middle of the story just to make it easier for lazy-assed readers to figure out what's going on, those comments are nothing more than Spoilers for the rest of us. 

Spoiling the Story for Lazy-Assed Readers
is a BAD IDEA.

While some readers love to be babied like that, the rest of us readers don't. The rest of us are paying close attention and we love ferreting out the author's little hints exposed by the plot's progression and character reveals. We are reading specifically to discover what the heck is going on. 

Spoilers strip all the suspense and discovery --the most enjoyable parts of the story-- right out.

I don't know about you, but once all the surprises are gone from a story, I have no reason to keep reading that story.

Fixing Spoilers

If the Reader doesn't get what happened and the information to set them straight IS NOT actually present in the story, then yeah, the Writer messed up.

To fix this, they should REWRITE and REPOST the Relevant Chapter ASAP! NOT answer their reader's query with any comment beyond, "Oh crap! Let me fix that real quick!"

If the Reader doesn't get what happened and the information to set them straight IS actually present in the story, meaning; the Reader simply missed it the first time around, then the Reader messed up -- not the Writer.

When this happens, the Writer should answer their query by politely telling that reader to Read the Chapter Again a little more carefully. NOT by giving them Spoilers!

Seriously, professional authors don't cater to that crap, neither should fan-fic writers.

The only thing catering to lazy-assed readers does is encourage those readers to bug other writers for spoilers -- and us other writers don't appreciate it.

 

As for Breaking the Fourth Wall... 

Or is he?

Deadpool:
Not actually Breaking the Fourth Wall.
He is Narrating his own story.   

Yes, Deadpool does address his audience throughout his comic books and movies. In his comics he even comments on the textboxes around him. 

Deadpool also freely admits that he's not exactly Sane.

However, addressing his readers, or watchers, or even his text boxes doesn't change the fact that Deadpool is The Point of View Character in both his comics and his movies. He's the one telling the tale. He's expected to comment on everything and everyone around him because that's what POV Characters do. 

Deadpool just happens to be narrating his story out loud to the voices, and text boxes, in his own head. That there happens to actually be an audience of readers and movie watchers is entirely incidental.

Now if Stan Lee; the main author of Marvel Comics, popped into Deadpool's story, that would be Author Intrusion-- 

Oh, wait... He did.

A...tasteful example of Author Intrusion. 

 AKA: The Cameo.

Narration is Not Author Intrusion

The Narrator is The Point of View Character observing --and commenting on-- their part of the tale. If done Right, what is narrated is colored by that POV Character's thoughts, opinions, and comments about what is happening around them. 

Breaking the 4th Wall?
Nope, just 1st Person POV.

 

Narration is not Author Intrusion because the author isn't telling the story, the POV Character is.

Deadpool, in both the comics and in his movies, uses First Person Point of View Narration. First Person POV can look like the character is Breaking the Fourth Wall, but they really aren't because Narration is supposed to address the audience. Think in terms of diary entries, or in Deadpool's case, a massive Selfie Video.

The only time Narration should ever be colored by the author's opinions is in a Self-Insert story where the author is the POV character-- 

 -- or in a Fairy Tale. 

Fairy Tales were originally told Orally. They were spoken and acted out by a storyteller directly to their audience. The storyteller's opinions of what was happening were part of the act, rather like the Master of Ceremony for a play. When these tales were eventually written down by collectors, such as the Brothers Grimm, they wrote them in the oral style --author intrusions included-- simply because that's how they were told to the collectors.

Later writers, such as Hans Christian Anderson, wanted their tales to be labelled Fairy Tales, so they used this oral style specifically so their stories would blend in with the much older collected Grimm's stories.

However, if the story is not a Fairy Tale-- 

Don't Interrupt Your Readers!

Written stories are viewed in the imagination like a movie. So when the author pops in a comment to make their personal opinions known, it throws the reader out of the movie they're watching in their imaginations because someone is talking to them.

"But the whole story is the author's opinion!"

Exactly! A writers has their whole story to express their personal opinions, so there is absolutely No Need for the author to interrupt their readers with additional comments on anything at all during the story.

If a writer absolutely positively must comment on what's happening in their story, an Author Note is where that shit belongs --or their personal blog, or whatever social media floats their boat-- nowhere else.

Author Intrusions:

--If you're Not writing a Fairy Tale--

Don't Do It.

Unless you're Stan Lee.
(He can intrude wherever he likes.)

 

Morgan Hawke
morganhawke.com

 

 

Art by Kopie

Writing Horror that's actually Scary.

I ran across 'quite' an informative little video series. This particular set is on making Horror games, movies, and stories.

Let's Gripe about Horror
https://vimeo.com/295183486

I suggest grabbing a notebook and completely ignoring the movie in favor of just listening to the voice-over. Expect to use that Pause button a lot. He covers a lot of topics at lightspeed.

Highlights:

What do You want to Do to your target audience with your Horror?

- Unsettle them?
- Surprise them?
- Create Apprehension?
- Convey a message about something you feel is horrifying?
- Disgust them with Splatter?

What does your target audience Want?

- To think about an important issue?
- Feel an adrenaline rush?
- Be titillated by gore?

What is Actual Horror?

-- Something so ghastly you have trouble understanding what just happened and/or what you're seeing.

To be effective, your horror needs to Generate: Anxiety, Panic, and Dread on a Personal level.

"You want to make the audience realize what a horrible person they are while you show them a bunch of weird crap that they can never really figure out."

In other words...
-- Offer them something Dangerously Mysterious, and make them feel Bad about themselves for wanting to know more about it. :) Then, when the final reveal comes, deliver on just how bad it is to Know the answers while hinting that even more remains hidden. HP Lovecraft was a master at this.

To do this you need:

1 To generate Introspection among the audience. ("I really am a horrible person.")
2 A Story Designed to generate that introspection.
3 A Tone of Horror that Supports the Story.
4 A Tone of Mystery that Supports the Horror.

The Steps:


1 Generate Introspection among the audience

Make them identify with Your Opinion/Concept.
-- The easiest way to get your audience to support Your opinion is by using their own established opinions as a base to work from.

-- Being studious is Good.
-- Being hard-working and punctual is Good.
-- Being kind to strangers is Good.
-- Defending the weak is Right.
-- Family deserves unconditional Trust.
-- Loving unconditionally is Right.

Subtlety = Audience IMMERSION.

Don't Tell -- SHOW, but Show by NOT SHOWING.

No Direct hints toward the Horror.

-- No bloody smears.
-- No mysterious notes.
-- Nothing concrete to prove that something really bad has happened.

Instead, Imply that something has gone wrong.

-- Use little things to hint that something has gone wrong, but nothing definite to point to What went wrong, or How wrong it went.

Reward their involvement with small affirmations that something has indeed gone wrong, possibly very wrong. 

-- Give them Clues, not Confirmation.
-- Make them think they can handle it --> until they actually face it.

2 A Story Designed to generate that introspection.

Make your story Interesting to the audience.

However...!
-- The audience only cares about two things:

1. Themselves.
-- Their personal circumstances. ("Oh, woe is me!")

2. Their personal interests.
-- Their family. (Their parents, their siblings, their spouse, their kids, their house...,)
-- Their lovers. (Catching or Keeping.)
-- Their hobbies. ("I adore cats, dogs, anime, lollies...!")

You have Two options:

1. Make something specifically about Them. 
-- Something that appeals to a specific audience.

2. Get them to LIKE (care about) a character in your story.
-- A likable human character*
-- An animal
-- An Interesting and/or unusual Environment (personification)

* "People will always pick (connect with) the cute (spunky) kid over a tragic (angsty) victim."

3 A Tone of Horror that Supports the Story.

Invoke all 5 senses -- and then some.
- Music & Sounds
- Imagery
- Textures
- Smells
- Flavors

4 A Tone of Mystery that Supports the Horror.

What many beginning writers miss is that at its core, a Horror is a MYSTERY.
-- The core value of a Mystery is a Contest between the Author who presents a Puzzle, and the Reader who seeks to discover the Solution before the end of the story.

The sign of a good Mystery is one that Keeps the Reader Guessing until the very last page.

-- Never give anything away until the last possible second. (NEVER give the monster a POV!)
-- The Monster should be the Physical Representation (presented as a puzzle) of the story's Concept AND the final Answer.
-- The final Answer should be More shocking than your Monster.

Why use Horror?

-- Horror conveys themes involving The Darkness within the Human Soul far better than other genres, (such as Comedy, or Romance.)

Subtlety = Confusion & Misdirection

Personify the story's Concept

Transform the story's Concept into a MONSTER that:
-- Embodies the idea, (shows how wrong/evil such a concept can be.)
-- Is ambiguous enough to Visually unsettling.

Subtlety in Design

"Don't use conventional designs!
-- A skinless dog, or a dog made of butterflies, is still just a Dog."

However, a shapeless, amorphous blob with strange appendages MADE from dogs is something else entirely.

"Rule of Designing (Horror) things:

-- To convey existing ideas and make it look enough like [i]something to state (that idea,) but make it look so strange, your brain doesn't know what to make of what it's seeing."[/i]

"What did I just see?"
"What does it mean?"

Important!
- Show it too long and it will Lose Impact.
- Show it too short and it Won't Convey the Theme.

Condition them to learn New Fears.
--> This triggers Jump-Scares.

- Specifically themed music. (Ex. The shark music in 'Jaws'.)
- Specific ominous sounds.
- Specific Actions = Fatal Results. (Ex. In Nightmare on Elm Street, falling asleep = Death) [/list]

Give them strong Negative Results for their actions.

-- Even (or especially) for Positive actions.

Short-term Victory = Long-term Defeat

> Ammo/inventory limits:
--- If used to kill this monster, won't have it later to kill that monster.

> Catch 22 Choices:
--- To gain something, one must lose something.
--- To save someone, some else must die.

Keep the audience invested in continued voluntary Exposure to the threat.

-- Give them an emotional reason (or excuse) to stay and Finish the game, book, or movie.

Tone, Narrative, and so-on all need a Purpose --> need to Support your Main Concept.

- Betrayal.
- Inability to connect with others.
- Lost in a collective society.
- Etc...

You do this by:
- Establishing the Concept you're trying to convey. (Show it in all it's mundane glory.)
- Associating that concept with something Horrifying.
- Showing all possible results of interaction -- and Non-interaction.


I was very impressed by the amount of research and thought that went into this 3 part series.

Enjoy!

Plotting Your Own Story Structures

I recently came across an article you wrote about the Gothic story structure. ... Your article was incredibly straight forward and informative. Do you have any resources you would recommend for aspiring ... authors to ensure they are hitting all the wickets?  -- J 

 

Sadly, there's not a whole lot out there on the different types of Plotting Structures. Most of what is available is somewhat...simplistic derivatives of Aristotle's 3 Act Structure for a Tragedy, Freytag's Pyramid, and The Hero's Journey based on Campbell's 'Hero with a Thousand Faces.' 

Unfortunately, those structures only cover a small amount of very common, very basic stories. 

Certainly not what I wanted to write. 

So, what I did was outline the plots of some of my favorite stories from books and movies to figure out their plotting patterns. This is how I came up with the Gothic plot, the Fairy Tale plot, and the Romance plot patterns. 

(INTJ here. We're all about creating patterns.) 

This is something you may want to try yourself. Treat it as an exercise!

Plotting Your Own Story Structures

This exercise will allow you to build your own plot structures that you can use to make your own unique stories.

Pick out 3 of your favorite movies and/or stories.

Outline the plots into Four main Acts. (Only Tragedies end in the Third Act.) 

Make it as simple as possible; leave out names and details.   

Base Example:

1) Trouble Begins
     Set up and character intro, plus hints of darkness.

2) Falling Apart
      Struggling to figure out what's going on.

3) Crash and Burn
      They know what's happening and they can't stop it. 

4) Rise from the Ashes
     They fight to survive.   

Keep in mind that most movie scripts are far more compact than the average book; only a Novella; 60,000 (60k) words, in length where books tend to start at 100,000 (100k) words, so expect book outlines to be longer and far more detailed. 

After you make your outlines:

Look for what is Similar and what is Different in your outlines.

Look for missed steps, and doubled, or even tripled steps in each Act. 

 -- More often than not, whole scenes are repeated a minimum of three times, but with different results. Often played out with three different characters. (Stephen King does this a lot.)

Once you get the hang of this, plot out different genres. 

 -- Notice how the stages of each Act change --often drastically-- between the genres. For example; an Adventure story won't have near as many Emotional Impact scenes as a Romance.

 

After you've condensed each genre outline to their most common traits, you'll have the perfect plot structures to Plug and Play with your own characters, places, and situations.
Don't forget to Experiment along the way! 
 -- Sometimes a bit more repetition here, and a longer emotional breakdown there can make all the difference between something common and boring, and something completely new and fresh.

Hopefully this proves helpful!  

Morgan Hawke

From Idea to STORY

Moonfish by SnowSkadi

----- Original Message -----
How do you develop an idea? How do you come up with the details behind stories? Do you get them from reading books? Do you get them from modern concepts? Or do they just come to you (if so, lucky you XD)? How do you develop the world in which it takes place? People or settings first? Do you include cults/religions/mass groups? How do you come up with these groups?
-- Thoughtful Writer

In other words, what you want to know is:

How do you build a Story from an Idea?

Let's begin by breaking this huge pile of questions down to smaller, bite-sized pieces...

How do you develop an idea?

 

I start with a Climactic Event.

My ideas may originate from anything at all; from a piece of music to a picture I saw on the 'net, but to make a Story from those ideas I start with What I Want to Happen at the very heart of my story -- a central Climactic/Crisis Event. I then create a Plot Concept around it to make that event happen, and tie up loose ends after the event.

Plot concept:
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Act 1: What caused the Event.
Act 2: Climactic/Crises Event.
Act 3: What happened after.

Example: What I Want to Happen.

• I want the central climactic/crisis event to be an epic space battle between a Galactic Empire and a tribe of Space Privateers, and I want the characters to carry Swords.

How do you come up with
the [Details] behind stories?

"Do you get them from reading books? Do you get them from modern concepts? Or do they just come to you (if so, lucky you XD)?"

 

RESEARCH.

The Details I come up with are mainly generated by reading stories similar to what I want to write, and researching what I need to know to make such an event Plausible. This tends to reveal unexpected facts which often give me MORE ideas to add to the story.

How do you make something in a story Plausible?
You use Facts to give its existence a Good Excuse to be there.

Examples: Facts

• Did you know that privateers had Written Permission from their home country to attack the ships of the countries their country didn't like --especially if there was a war going on-- as long as they turned over a certain percentage of 'booty' to their home country?
• (Ah ha! I now have a 'good excuse' to make the privateers the Good Guys!)
• Did you know that Empires (the British Empire in particular,) routinely hired Merchants to be Privateers when they didn't have enough ships in their fleets BECAUSE Merchant ships were extremely well-armed specifically to fight off Pirates (other Privateers)?
• (Ah-HA! Now I have a good excuse to have a Privateers vs. Pirates battle!)
• Did you know that those same empires that hired Privateers would also systematically destroy their Privateers once a treaty was signed with the country they had gone to war with, mainly because this was often a condition for a treaty to be signed?
• (Ah-HA! Now I have a 'good excuse' for Privateers to become pissed off at an empire!)
• Did you know that using a projectile weapon of any sort on a spaceship spelled Instant Death should that projectile shoot through the outer hull?
• (Ah-AH! I know have a 'good excuse' to have all my characters carry Swords!)  

How do you develop the world
in which it takes place?

People or Settings first? Do you include cults/religions/mass groups? How do you come up with these groups?

 

I begin with the World.

I always start with the SETTING, the World my characters will inhabit. I research everything to look for clues about what kind of cultures, politics, employment, social positions, religions, etc. would come into play in such a story because a character's culture and civilization will be what makes each character who they are -- the same way that your culture and civilization made you who you are.

Examples: Space, Empires, and Privateers.

• How do Empires happen, and how are they governed?
• Why would Privateers be hired?
• Under what conditions would privateers be attacked by an empire?
• What are the conditions for living in space?
• What kinds of space travel would I need, (Faster-than-light? Folding space? Jump-gates...?) and can they be adapted to what I want to do?
• What kind of weapons would a spaceship have? (Particle cannons?)
• How would a space battle be conducted?

Then Characters.

Once I have a good grasp of the cultures my characters would inhabit, then I decide what kind of characteristics and backgrounds the Characters would need to make my Event happen -- or Not happen.

Examples: Characters

• Why would people (or a whole family) become privateers?
• Why would someone hate the empire?
• Why would someone hate privateers?
• What kind of training would be needed to fight in 0 gravity?
• If I make the main character a neutral party, where would such a character come from, and why would they have such a mindset?

And that's how I build a Story from an Idea.

Enjoy!