Don't Insult your Readers.
A minor Rant.
"You don't need to put neon signs around your plot points.
Readers aren't as dumb as you think."
-- Mojo Castle Books, Editor in Chief --
Just say No to:
PLOT WAFFLING!
Plot Waffling is a form of
Author Intrusion that appears when the author is convinced that their
Readers are too stupid, or too immature to comprehend what's going on in
the story without assistance.A minor Rant.
"You don't need to put neon signs around your plot points.
Readers aren't as dumb as you think."
-- Mojo Castle Books, Editor in Chief --
Just say No to:
PLOT WAFFLING!
For example, when a character keeps "noticing" what seems to be something relatively unimportant that adds nothing to the current scene.
✧ "I wonder who that is, even though I'm not interested in them, really."
Translation: "NOTICE THIS NOW! Hell, write this shit down!"
This form of Plot Waffling is even worse, and is commonly mistaken by the Author as Foreshadowing:
✧ Little did they know, but this would be the last time...
✧ If only they knew that...
✧ Don’t worry about it. You’ll know the truth soon enough.
✧ Anyway, I’m getting ahead of my story. Little Ozzie and Terrible
Chester do not enter the picture until after the cow explodes.
This shit is not Foreshadowing!
This is fairytale Narration shit, and it does not belong in books or stories meant for anyone older than Twelve! It definitely doesn't belong in books or stories meant for Adults.
Ahem...
Plot Waffling, and Narration mainly appear in fairytales, published
kiddie books, and story books intended for middle-school children and
younger. Readers that actually need help comprehending what they're reading. For example, the very first Harry Potter book; Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, written specifically for eleven-year-olds and younger, had it all over the opening chapter.
When this shit happens in published novels meant for Adults, it's usually accidental.
The culprit being the Author's publishing house Editor who didn't recognize that it should have been red-lined and removed.
Either the Editor was very new at the job, and wasn't fully trained
yet, or the Editor recently came from the Children's Books, or Young
Adult department where this shit is considered acceptable for
publication -- because their Readers are children.
In short, these Editors had yet to learn that this shit Should Not be in books read by Adults, and is supposed to be Removed with Extreme Prejudice.
If this shit appears in a novel written by a top named Author, that Author likely has a multi-billion dollar contract that states that they don't want an Editor, and no matter what they write, or how badly they write it, it will be Published. Such as: Nora Roberts, Stephen King, Laurell K Hamilton, Anne Rice...
So! If you're not writing a kid's book, and you're not a top named author with a contract that says you can skip the Editor...?
Shut up, and go edit that shit out of your work.
Web Stories & Fan-fiction
On Web Story and Fan-fiction sites, Plot Waffling and Narration show up for three main reasons.Web Stories & Fan-fiction
Reason 1:
Reason 2:
It is plainly obvious that both of these types of Authors gorged on a high concentration of fairytales, middle-school story books, translated Manga and Manhua, translated Lite Novels, and Young Adult novels. These stories are well-known for having very simplistic wish-fulfillment plots, clichรฉ wish-fulfillment characters, no romance or relationship development, very little description, and a limited vocabulary -- because they are meant for kids under thirteen with difficulty in Reading Comprehension.
None of which appeals to most Adult Readers.
Seriously, No Adult enjoys reading a story that's been Dumbed Down for Kiddy Comprehension -- especially if that story contains Adult Content!
Adult Readers generally prefer stories they can't guess the ending to by the fourth chapter, flawed complex characters dealing with personal issues, realistic relationships even if the adult scenes happen behind closed doors, rich and detailed descriptions that allow the Reader to clearly visualize the story's world, and a college-level vocabulary to support the full breadth of the story.
will only result in Poorly Written Amateur work.
- Passive writing
- Simplistic vocabulary
- Poor or No Description
- Cliche characters
- Frequent POV switching
- Cliche plotting or No plotting
- No End
- Lack of research
- Plot Waffling
- Chapters that are Too Short (under 2500 words.)
Reason 3:
In my opinion...!
-- Too many story sites that allow Adult Content also allow Thirteen-Year-Olds Membership, when the minimum age for membership should be Sixteen, or better yet: Eighteen.
Not that age-restriction on memberships actually matter.
It's all too easy for an under-aged brat to LIE about their age and sneak in to a site they have no business viewing, and gaining access to content they are not legally old enough, and certainly not mature enough, to be seeing. Sadly, there's not a whole lot the site admins can do about it. Even if a brat is caught and thrown out, they can just create a new ID and sneak right back in.
To make matters worse, not all Immature Readers are under-aged.
However, Immature Readers of all ages have two major flaws in common, that makes them very easy to identify:
Immaturity & Author Abuse
On fan-fiction and web novel sites, Immature Readers are easily spotted by their nasty habit of battering Authors for spoilers in the Comments section. These spoiler questions tend to appear in the early
chapters as puppy-eyed begging, or snotty demands for characters'
motives, romantic interests, when sex scenes will happen, and how the
story is going to end. Things the story itself will answer in due time.Immaturity & Author Abuse
Don't be fooled. Both the begging and the demands are signs that you're dealing with an immature, impatient, attention-seeking Brat.
In addition to spoiler-begging, these brats also tend to post half a dozen times on the same chapter by adding snippy, snotty, or outright nasty comments on other people's comment posts.
These brat posts are especially prevalent when the Author has not set their comments to "Members Only", "No Anonymous Guest Posts", and "Approve before Posting".
All too often, instead of telling these immature brats: "Go read the Chapter again, idiot," or "You'll know when it happens," or just plain IGNORING them, the abused Authors Give-In to the brats' demands and deliver on those spoilers in their comments. AKA: Feeding the Trolls. This is especially virulent when the author is desperate to be seen as Nice, and Friendly.
Rather than stop those brats from posting, it backfires spectacularly and encourages the little shits to Do It More. After all, they've been getting loads of attention this way. Why should they stop?
Sometimes a desperate Author will start adding explanations in their Author Notes, specifically for those Brat Readers that repeatedly post that they did not get it. Worst of all is when the Author starts adding Plot Waffling to the story to make Story Comprehension easier for those same Brat Readers.
In the meantime, what they're actually doing is Ruining the Story for the rest of their reading audience!
Stop that!
So how do you deal with
Never accept Anonymous Guest posts, and if the brats get through anyway, ignore them. Don't Answer their Posts.
Starve it of Attention.
There is No Other Way.
The truth is, these immature troll brats are not looking for answers, they're looking for ATTENTION from the closest famous person they can get to talk to them: the Author of the story they're reading.
If you must answer them, just politely tell them: "I don't want to give away all the surprises," or "The answers are in the story," or "Just wait and see!" Then disengage and don't add any more -- especially if they're provoking you!
Report them if you can. If not, your only recourse to utterly ignore them, no matter how nasty they get.
☕