AFTER the Basic HORROR Story Idea

Another:
A Japanese mystery horror story about a boy who transfers to a middle school with a cursed class and becomes involved in a series of gruesome deaths.

You have a cool Horror Story IDEA.
What's Next?

----- Original Message -----

You know the basic idea in a horror school story; terrible incidents occurred at school, mysterious accidents, disappearances, and murders. Mostly the stuff of bad memories and ghost stories… Our heroes think it's a good idea to test these stories and are dragged into an inner dimension of hell by the ruthless psychopathic ghost who's main goal in life was being her bullies sole murderer. (And killing other innocent people along the way.) Eventually through her interactions within the protagonists she begins to show a kinder and sweeter side behind closed doors and frees them.

 -- Wanna Write a Horror School Story

 

It sounds like you have a basic idea.
Now comes The Hard Part:

 

From: Another

Who the Main Point of View (POV) Character?
WHO is Telling the main overall Story?

Traditionally, stories are Not told from the Hero's point of view, (POV,) nor the Adversary/Villain's POV. They're told from the POV of the Victim; someone Wronged by the Villain (Monster,) then Betrayed by the Hero. 

In Another, the character Mei Misaki is Wronged by the monster by being forced into playing the monster's part as a Proxy monster making her an Outcast to her whole class. She is Betrayed by the Hero when he accuses her of being behind one of the murders.

Sometimes the story is told from the POV of an Ally to either the Hero or the Monster; also Wronged by one then Betrayed by the other. However, this is rare in Horror stories. It is far more common in Other World/Isekai stories.

• Note: In Romances, the Adversary/Villain and the Hero are often the same character.

It's your story though, so do as you please. 

However....

 

 

If you choose to tell the story from a Monster's POV, you might want to consider using a Gothic story structure, rather than the ordinary Adventure plot; AKA: The Hero's Journey, that most common Horror stories use. 

In a Nutshell:​

Horror Story: "There are Monsters! What do we do?!"​

Gothic Story: "I'm a Monster! What do I do?!"​

Gothics tend to focus on the Monster's struggle between their Human nature, and their Monster nature -- while dealing with people trying to kill them.

• Examples: The Wolfman, Frankenstein, The Count of Monte Christo, The Matrix, Spider-Man. For Anime: Ergo Proxy, Shiki, Another, Tokyo Ghoul, Darker Than Black...

If you're interested, here's a couple Links:

• Gothic Story Structure.
• So you Want to Write a Gothic - TV Tropes

How LONG do you want to make this story?
What is your target Word Count?

​

WHY is this Important?​

The shorter the Story, the smaller the cast of characters you'll need.​

• Short Story: 5000 to 10,000 words.
  • One POV character, one Ally, one Adversary
• Novelette: 10,000 - 20,000 words
  • One POV character, 2-3 Allies, one Adversary
• Novella: 20,000 - 40,000 words
  • One POV character, 2-5 Allies, 1 Main Adversary, 1 lesser Adversary
• Category/Light Novel: 40,000 - 60,000 words
  • 2 POV characters, 2-3 Allies for each POV character, 1 Main Adversary shared by both POV characters, and 1 lesser Adversary for each POV character.
• Novel: 60,000 - 100,000 words.
  • Up to 3 POV characters, 2-3 Allies for each POV character, 1 Main Adversary shared by ALL POV characters, and 1 lesser Adversary for each POV character.
• A series? 
• POV character and Ally changes with each episode.
  

You CAN add more characters, but each POV character added = additional plot to be Solved before the story Ends.

• Remember: Each POV character is telling Their Own Story, which means Each of those stories need a satisfying END.

Also, Adversary simply means: the one that particular POV character is Against/Opposing.

 

Example: In a story told from Darth Vader's POV, Obi Wan Kenobi and Yoda are Minor Adversaries with Darth Sidious being the Main Adversary.​

 

Most Importantly:

 

 

 From: Another

 

What do you want to SAY with this Story? 

What point are you trying to Prove with this story? 

 

THIS is your Premise.

• Revenge?
• Redemption?
• Justice?
• All Three?

Want to make this story even more Complicated?

Make Each of the main characters have their own Personal Premise, Proving or Disproving them through the Results of their Individual Stories.

• Oh wait, you're supposed to do that. Never mind.

 

Once you know these things,
the story will practically write itself. 

 

Making MAGIC 2 - Writing Magical Battles

 

Jujutsu Kaisen

 

 

Making MAGIC 2
Writing Magical Battles

 

Have you read the first one?

Making MAGIC 1
A History of Magic?

 

----- Original Message -----

I like 10 shadows from JuJutsu Kaisen (JJK). The essence of the ability in a nutshell is the ability to [summon spiritual beasts]. I want to change the summons, but leave the main point. Authors who made abilities similar to this one, what problems will I face in writing fights? 

 -- Wanna Write Magic Battles

 

Here are some Problems that Will come up when
Writing fight scenes
with Multiple Magical Participants.

Your first major problem is knowing how to Put into Words that kind of a battle scene; one with Many participants, without confusing the Readers.

I suggest figuring out how to write a basic one-on-one fight scene first.

Link --> ACTION and the Evil "AS"

Multiple fighters makes using Action THEN Reaction vital to write that scene clearly enough for the Reader to Visualize.

Take Notes!

Once you add more participants to a fight scene, you're going to need a pencil and some scratch paper just to keep track of where all of them are, in addition to who and what they're fighting, plus what powers each is using.

Just make things more complicated... A scene where a character switches from fighting one opponent to fighting a new opponent once they finish their first fight, will end up in a nasty mess if you don't keep track of everyone, and every thing, involved in the fight. 

Scene-Switching will Need to Happen.

The Pacing and Timing of your scene-switching from one set of fighters to the next, will be crucial -- because there is no way in hell you can write that sort of pitched battle without scene-switching.

Just remember to do a line break of some kind, such as: * * * or just a single blank line between each and every scene switch and POV change.

One POV per scene! 

Having more than one POV (point-of-view) in a battle will make your fight scenes a snarled mess to read. Stick to Only One per battle scene. 

More importantly, Never pick the Bad-Guy's POV. It ruins all the surprise and suspense generated by the fight, especially if that Bad-Guy has one more Ace up their sleeve. 

As for your Summoner, Do Not use their Beast's POVs. If you have to do a scene with Beast vs Beast, use NO POV at all. Write it from an Outside Observer's POV. No internal narration at all. Just the Facts, Ma'am. Mainly because a summoned beast's thoughts and feelings should never be seen, unless the Beast Vocalizes what they feel themselves. 

The Summoner should always be worried that their summons will Turn on them. Don't ruin the mystery. Keep out of their Beasts' heads.

Be Careful with your
Over-Powered Characters!

Make sure that your Magical Fighter doesn't look like a Mary Sue/Marty Stu, over-powered, Wish-Fulfillment character. Add realistic character flaws and internal conflicts to balance out all that power. If you do it right, you'll have an awesome story.

Link --> Common Mary Sue Traits -- TV Tropes

 

However your most difficult problem will be coming up with How the summoner summoned their beasts, and what kind of beasts they can summon.

In short: your Magic. 

 

How does your Magic do Summoning?
And What are the Summoning?

If you haven't figured that out yet, THIS is where research really needs to happen.

Rather than trying to make up a whole new form of magic, it is much easier is to base your Magic on an existing magic or spiritual tradition.

Historic and Mythical Onmyoji: Abe no Seimei

 

Historic Spirit Summoning
in Japan

Abe no Seimei who lived during Heian period, is the most famous onmyōji (Onmyōdō practitioner) in Japanese history. He summoned his beasts and monsters with Shikigami, meaning: paper spirits.

First, he presented an offering to get the spirit's attention, then created a contract with a spirit by promising to do it a favor in compensation for doing him favors. In some stories, the spirit wanted revenge for a wrong done to it, in other stories the spirit just wanted to stay in his company. He then wrote the spirit's name on a small piece of paper, or had the spirit write its own name. Sometimes these papers were folded into origami animal or flower shapes, sometimes they were talisman tags. It depends on the story.

To summon a spirit to him using the papers, he supposedly used a drop of his own blood as offering.

Historically, the spirits summoned were invisible. However, according to his myths, he gave a portion of his own life force to bring them into reality.

Abe no Seimei did Not make 'shadow puppets' with his hands. (Ahem...)

Everything Abe no Seimei is recorded to have done to gain his spirits, call his spirits, and fight off other spirits, were basic Shamanistic techniques. Anyone familiar with shamanism would recognize his skill set immediately because contracting and summoning spirits is what every shaman does.

Of course, working with spirits wasn't all that Abe no Seimei did.

Onmyōdō (陰陽道, also In'yōdō, lit. 'The Way of Yin and Yang') covers a heck of a lot more magic than just summoning spirits. 

Onmyoji practitioners, especially the ones that worked for the Imperial Court, did a lot of fortune-telling using astronomy, calendars, and the five elements, to divine good fortune in terms of date, time, direction, and general personnel affairs. They also did Feng Shui: checking if a house or property's location, direction, and furniture set-up drew in Luck, and Prosperity, or Ghosts and Malice

Beyond the shamanistic spirit work, the rest of the techniques an Onmyoji used came from the philosophy of yin and yang and wuxing; magical traditions that had just been introduced to Japan from China, at that time. Rather than separate the two styles of magic, they just...added them together. 

And that's just Japan. 

 

Don't Limit Yourself!

There are spirit summoning traditions all over the world, in every native culture, contained in every form of shamanism that exists.

What Magic or Spiritual Tradition
are you basing your Magic on?

In JuJutsu Kaisen, the author bases their summoning powers on the traditional Onmyoji skill set. In fact, most of the 'powers' in JJK are from traditional Onmyoji myths and stories. So are many of the monsters.

Cultivation novels use Chinese mythology for their monsters and spirits, and Taoism traditions for their magic.

The movie Black Panther uses African traditions for their magic.

The Harry Potter magic system was pretty much made up by the author, but was influenced by Celtic, Wiccan, and Norse traditions.

My magic is based on the Wiccan traditions and borrows heavily from the Celtic fairy stories and myths from the British Isles.

On the flip side, Author Jim Butcher's modern wizard series; the Harry Dresden books, uses a magic system based on the Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) role-playing game. He freely admitted this.

In fact, many, many anime, manga, and manhua use the Dungeons and Dragons magic system; a game created in the early 1980's that was based on JRR Tolkien's books.

 -- And it's Obvious to all of us that actually play D&D.

Signs that the Author is using D&D books for their Magic:

-- The power Blink. This is an exclusive D&D ability. It does not exist historically.

-- A wizard's abilities are magically bestowed by Books, without needing to Read them.

-- A healer's power is Green.

-- The Orcs look like Pigs and are Green. This whole race comes straight from JRR Tolkien, however Tolkien's Orcs were not Green. The color change was introduced in the D&D game.

-- The goblins are Green. JRR Tolkien's goblins were Not green, they were gray; the color of mold.

-- Rings of power.

-- Dungeons.

 

 

In Conclusion...

If you're determined to create your own Magic, your best place to start is with looking up the History of Magic that already exists for whatever culture you happen to be writing in. Use it as a jumping off point, or a framework that explains why your magic works the way it does. Simply adjust the facts to fit the story you want to write. Add things, or subtract things as needed.

Just please be aware that there will be actual practitioners in your reading audience. We will Know when you mess up and don't keep to your own lore, just as easily as we know when someone is using Dungeons and Dragons as a base for their magical system.

After all, we love Fantasy stories too. If we didn't, we wouldn't be practicing magic in the first place.

☕

Morgan Hawke

Writing ACTION 2: The Plug & Play Method

From Blade of Evolution

Writing Action Scenes:​
The Plug & Play Method​
Writing ACTION 2​

☕

WARNING! This tutorial is NOT meant for those do Creative Writing.

This essay was originally written for writers seeking to be professionally published authors. As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.

If you are new to my tutorials, please read this one first:
The Secret to Proper Paragraphing and Dialogue
Certain things covered in this tutorial are based on that information.

 

 So you want a Quick way to write
Action Scenes?

Before we go there, did you read the first part of this series?

Writing ACTION 1:
The Trick to Writing Action Scenes that Work ​

You did? Great...!

Lets begin with a Review.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The flash of pain exploded in my cheek from the slap her hand lashed out at me.
-- WRONG! 

Why is this Wrong?​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you were watching this scene as a movie, that sentence is NOT how you would have seen it happen.

 

Actual Sequence of events:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Her hand lashed out in a slap. [Action]
2) A flash of pain exploded in my cheek [Reaction]

 

ACTION Sequences = Chronological Order​

REALITY = something happens to you and…you react.
Action > Reaction = Chronological order


FICTION = the Plot happens to the characters and…they react.
Action > Reaction = Chronological order​

If you want the reader to SEE the actions that you are trying to portray, Chronological Order is the ONLY way to write that scene. In other words, if you visualize the characters doing something in a specific order, you write it in THAT order!

Violating chronological order is a Very Bad idea. If you knock the actions out of order, the reader’s Mental Movie STOPS because the reader has to STOP READING to rearrange the sentences into the correct order to get the movie back.


Before we go on, you also need to know about the Action scene's Worst Enemy...!

The Evil Nasty Vicious "As."​

In school, they teach you that "as" is a word used to connect fragments of sentences together, rather in the same way you would use “and.”

Unfortunately, “as” doesn’t quite work the same way as an “and” in fiction.

“As” means; “things that happened simultaneously.”​

“And” means; “this happened too.”​

In Fiction NOTHING is truly simultaneous because the eye READS only one word at a time. The only things that can actually be counted as simultaneous in written fiction are groups of things.

Example:

All the soldiers marched.​

IMPORTANT!​

~~~~~~~~~~~~​

I'm NOT saying that simultaneous events CAN'T be written! I’m saying that using "as" is not the way to do it. Any group of events listed in one sentence are generally perceived as happening all at the same time -- until you get to the "and". However, they should still be listed --using the Serial Comma-- so as to make the reader's VISION of the whole event crystal clear.​

As far as I'm concerned, the only place an “as” belongs is at the BEGINNING of a sentence--

As all the soldiers marched, the drums and fifes played.​

Or in a comparison.

As black as pitch.​

See?

Where “As” goes WRONG​

I consider “as” a red flag word. A word that marks that something has gone terribly wrong in your sentence structure.

What went Wrong?​

 

In fiction, the word “as” usually marks where a sentence has gone out of Chronological Order.

Example:

The vampire scratched his head thoughtfully as he crouched over his victim.​

Think: Which actions actually happened first?

1. The vampire crouched over his victim.​

2. He scratched his head thoughtfully.​

The chronological way to write this would be:

The vampire crouched over his victim AND scratched his head thoughtfully.​

Why does this matter?​

 

A sentence Out of Chronological Order means that the reader has to Stop Reading to reset their mental movie of your story. That’s bad, very, very, BAD.

Do this enough times and your reader will stop reading your story to go find something easier to imagine. In fact, some readers will not only drop your story, never to read it again, they’ll avoid anythingelse you write.

How to Grammar Check for “as”:​

Do a Search/Replace substituting “as” for “and,” then go back and read through your entire work. If “and” doesn’t fit right in your sentence, then it’s most likely Out of Chronological Order.

Example:

The werewolf flattened his ears angrily as he faced the hunter.​

Search/Replace with "and":

The werewolf flattened his ears angrily and he faced the hunter.​

“And” doesn’t quite work there, does it?

Why not?

The werewolf didn’t flatten his ears before he faced the hunter.

So! Which actions actually happened first?

​

1. The werewolf faced the hunter.​

2. He was angry.​

3. He flattened his ears.​

Adjusted:

The werewolf faced the hunter and he angrily flattened his ears.​

Now the “he” doesn’t fit, so let’s chop that out.

One more time:

The werewolf faced the hunter and angrily flattened his ears.​

See what I mean? The word “As” is a devious sinister monster that should be destroyed on sight.


Now, on to the good stuff!

Writing Action Scenes​
The "Plug & Play" Method​

Life is full of random events. FICTION is NOT. Every element in a story – every character, every situation, and every object, must be there for a REASON, and have a Reason to Be There. NOTHING happens “just because” – especially actions.

The Magic Formula!​

1 Stimulus
2 Physical Reaction
3 Sensory Reaction 

4 Emotional Reaction ​
5 Deliberate Reaction​ 

 

This order is Very specific. You may Skip steps, but you may Not Change the Order.

1) Stimulus
-- Something happens TO the character. (Action).

2) Physical Reaction
-- The character has a knee-jerk Physical Reaction to what has just happened. (Reaction)

3) Sensory Reaction
-- The character feels Physical Sensations and physically reacts to the sensations. (Reaction)

4) Emotional Reaction
-- THEN they have an Emotional Reaction reflected in their thoughts and/or a comment about what had just happened. (Reaction)

5) Deliberate Reaction
-- THEN they Respond. They DO something about that action. (Reaction)

1) NEW Stimulus
-- External Reaction of the OTHER person or an Outside event. (Action)

The Chain of REACTIONS in DETAIL​

1) Stimulus – Something Happened!​

 

It all begins with: Stimulus > Response, also known as Action > Reaction. Something happens, and the character reacts. It’s that simple.

Stimulus: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

Response: Sam ducked, and the dagger flew harmlessly past him.​

Or -- Sam was stabbed through the heart.
Or -- Sam caught it in his hand.
Or -- something of a similar, immediate response-nature.

WARNING! Confusion May Happen!

Consider this:

Stimulus: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

Response: Sam grinned. “My, what lovely weather we’re having!”​

Too many writers think the Reader will assume that the dagger missed Sam. 

 

Nope. I’m afraid that many, many readers will Not make that assumption at all.

This is a Plot Hole; a missing piece to an event triggered by the obvious question: What happened to the dagger?

I’m not saying you can’t have that lovely piece of dialogue, I’m saying that you have to show the rest of the stimulus-response FIRST.

Stimulus: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

Response: Sam caught the dagger in his palm, raised his brow at Joe, and smiled thinly. “My, what lovely weather we’re having.”​

2) Physical Reaction – The Flinch​

 

Something happens. Your character reacts instinctively. They duck, they flinch, they dodge, they gasp, they choke, they pass out.

In real life, physical actions usually happen before dialogue. The finger pulls the trigger then the shooter wonders, “Oh no, what have I done?”

Most people Act then comment because physical reactions happen faster than thought. Thought happens after the fist has already shot out. Ask any cop or martial artist.

Martial artists in particular are trained to Not Think when they fight --No Mind-- specifically to make their reaction time faster.​

Thoughts that come first FREEZE physical action. Not in the literary sense, for real. Most people stop whatever action they are doing, they pause to process that thought because few people can do both at once.

Fiction should not be any different. 

3) Sensory Reaction – Cold Chills​

 

Something just happened. What did it feel like, physically? How did they react physically to those sensations? 

 

Remember--! The Body reacts faster than the Mind! 

Sensory = of the 5 Physical Senses​

 Sight - what is Seen
Sound - what is Heard
Taste - what is Tasted
Texture - what is physically Felt
Scent - what is Smelled

Sensation Reaction is what they perceived through their senses.

It smelled like--​

It looked like--​

It sounded like--​

It felt like--​

It tasted like--​

And their PHYSICAL reaction to those sensations.

"It tasted like moldy socks, and I nearly retched.”​

​

USE THEM.

Stimulus: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

Response: Sam reached out to grab the dagger. (Physical Reaction) The pommel slapped sharply into his palm, stinging his hand. (Sensory Reaction) He winced. (Reaction to sensation)​

4) Emotional/Mental Reaction –“Oh, woe is me!”
Internal Conflict!​

 

Something just happened. How did that make your character Feel Emotionally: scared, happy, angry, lustful…? These emotional feelings are reflected internally immediately after the physical sensations that wracked their bodies with unwarranted stimuli. Ahem-- After they feel the physical effects of what just happened.

Additionally, internal observations, internal dialogue, and narration happens before they make a vocal remark.

Stimulus - Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

​

Response – Sam reached out to grab the dagger. The pommel slapped sharply into his palm, stinging his hand. He winced. (Internalization) He had known Joe was pissed at him, but he hadn’t thought he was that pissed.​

5) Deliberate Reaction – Retaliation!​

 

Something happened, your character has felt the effects, had a thought, and perhaps made a comment. So, what is your character going to do next?

A deliberate action designed for Retaliation! More commonly known as: Revenge.

Stimulus - Joe threw the dagger at Sam.​

​

Response – Sam reached out to grab the dagger. The pommel slapped sharply into his palm, stinging his hand. He winced. He had known Joe was pissed at him, but he hadn’t thought he was that pissed. (Deliberate Reaction – intended to get a reaction out of Joe.) He raised his brow at Joe and smiled thinly. “My, what lovely weather we’re having!”​

Just to make things confusing – Dialogue can be a Response Reaction, an Internalization, an Emotional Reaction or a Deliberate Reaction! 

 

When in doubt, always put Dialogue AFTER a physical action. 

 

 

(Stupid gif won't load. Click to see the action.)

Plug & Play it!​
Fill in the blank!​

Key:

1 Stimulus - Something Happened​

2 Physical Reaction - Their body’s immediate physical reaction​

3 Sensory Reaction - The physical sensations and their effects​

4 Emotional Reaction - What they thought about what was happening​

5 Deliberate Reaction - How they responded​

1 NEW Stimulus - What happened next.​

-- In this order.​

External / something HAPPENED​

1) Stimulus - Physical Action / Action, dialogue or both

Will Turner stabbed his sword toward Jack Sparrow.​

Viewpoint Character’s Reaction:​

2) Response - Physical Reaction / Did they jump? Flinch? Catch the flying object?

Jack twisted to intercept the oncoming blade with his blade, rather than his body.​

3) Response - Sensory Reaction / The physical sensations and their effects.

The swords impacted with a jarring ring.​

4) Response – Emotional Reaction / Internal or Vocal Comment reflecting what they thought about what was happening.

“Will, this isn’t the brightest idea in the world. I don’t know if you noticed, but there are a bunch of cutthroat pirates in the next cave?”​

5) Response – Deliberate Reaction / What they did or said in retaliation.

He slid his sword up Will’s blade, waggled his brows, and smiled.​

 

External Reaction of the OTHER

  -- or an Outside event:​

 

1) NEW Stimulus - Physical Action/Action or dialogue or Action & then Dialogue.

Will flinched back and scowled. “I don’t care! I want to rescue her now!”​

On the Page...​

Will Turner lunged, stabbing his sword toward Jack Sparrow.

Jack twisted to intercept the oncoming blade with his blade, rather than his body. The swords impacted with a jarring ring. “Will this isn’t the brightest idea in the world. I don’t know if you noticed, but there are a bunch of cutthroat pirates in the next cave?” He slid his sword up Will’s blade and smiled.

Will flinched back and scowled. “I don’t care. I want to rescue her now!”

Don't Forget:​

Separate each character’s Actions from the other characters.

NO SHARING. Characters Do NOT share Sentences or Paragraphs ever! Put each individual characters' Actions and the Dialogue that goes with those actions in their own Paragraph. Having two people doing stuff in one paragraph makes the Reader's visuals muddy. The Reader's mental movie --your story-- comes to a screeching halt while they try to figure out what the hell just happened.​

 

*Refer to: The Secret to Proper Paragraphing and Dialogue

ACTION always goes BEFORE Thoughts & Comments. 

The body reacts faster than commentary thoughts. Ask any martial artist. A REACTIONARY Comment: "Ouch!" Can go first because it plays the part of an ACTION, rather than a thought.​ 

Refer to: The Trick to Writing Action Scenes that Work

ONE Point of View Only for an entire Scene!
(Especially Beginners!)

POV switching happen when you change scenes. No Head-hopping! It gets really confusing as to who is doing and feeling what if two people or more are all thinking a feeling in one scene. Pick a POV character and stick with it for the whole scene.​

 

Refer to: The Trick to Writing Action Scenes that Work

Use crap-loads of Adjectives to describe sensations.

Description thrives on purple prose! Make every adjective highly opinionated to get the reader right into the action as though they are experiencing it.​ 

 

Refer to: Is Description Really Needed? YES.

 

In Conclusion:​

 

After figuring all this out the hard way, I discovered that this whole routine (Action > Reaction) is explained in exquisite detail in: Scene and Structure by Jack Bickham. Google is your friend. 

Morgan Hawke ☕

Writing ACTION 1: Action Scenes that Work

 

The Trick to Writing Action Scenes that Work:
Action THEN Reaction!

The #1 Most Common cause of Confusion in Action Scenes?
Putting the Reaction BEFORE the Action that caused it.

WARNING! This tutorial is NOT meant for those do Creative Writing.

This essay was originally written for writers seeking to be professionally published authors. As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.

If you are new to my tutorials, please read this one first:
The Secret to Proper Paragraphing and Dialogue
Certain things covered in this tutorial are based on that information.

Why is Action THEN Reaction so Important? ​

The flash of pain exploded in my cheek from the slap her hand lashed out at me.

WRONG!

Why is this Wrong?
-- If you were watching this scene as a movie, that sentence is NOT how you would have seen it happen.

Actual Sequence of events:
1) Her hand lashed out at me in a slap. [Action]
2) A flash of pain exploded in my cheek [Reaction]

ACTION Sequences = Chronological Order​

Chronological Order --the order in which things actually happen-- is the ONLY way to write an Action Scene that won't confuse your readers. If you visualize the characters doing something in a specific order – you write it in THAT order.

REALITY =
Something random happens to you then…you react. 
- in Chronological order​

Action –> Reaction 

 

Dialogue and Action:
Which comes first?

ACTION.

Too many inexperienced writers put all their Dialogue at the beginning of their paragraphs -- before the action that caused that dialogue to happen.

The truth is, Dialogue belongs in the sentence when it happened; before the action, during the action, or after the action.

However...!

The finger pulls the trigger THEN the shooter wonders: “Oh no, what have I done?”​

Realistically, physical actions usually happen BEFORE dialogue. Most people ACT then comment because physical reactions normally happen faster than thought. Ask any cop or martial artist.

This Does Not mean that thoughts or dialogue don't happen before the gun or fist is raised and pointed! Bad-mouthing and instigation is usually how fights start to begin with. 

 

However, the human body has a habit of...jumping the gun -- reacting before the thought of doing said Action is even fully formed, especially if they are martially trained.​

Thoughts that come first FREEZE physical action. Not in the literary sense, for real. Most people stop whatever action they are doing, they pause to speak.

Fiction works exactly the same way.

FICTION =
The Plot happens to the characters then…they react.
- in Chronological order​

Action –> Reaction

1 - Something happened TO the character, (the Action.)
2 - The character feels the Physical Sensation - the effects of the Action, (the reaction.)
3 - THEN they have a thought and/or comment about what had just happened, (an Action.)
4 - THEN they DO something about it, (their Reaction.)

WRONG:

The flash of pain exploded in my cheek [Reaction] as the slap her hand lashed out at me. [Action]​

RIGHT:

Her hand lashed out in a slap [action].​

​

My cheek exploded with a flash of pain. [reaction]. “Ow!” [dialogue/action] I balled my hand into a fist and swung for her face. [reaction]​

(Stupid gif won't load. Click image to see Action!)

Why did I break that sequence into Two lines? ​

Because each character gets their own paragraph for their actions.

Why?

For exactly the same reason you separate each character's dialogue into two paragraphs. Dialogue is an Action.

And while we're on the subject, leave the Dialogue ATTACHED to that character's Actions! This way you never need to use dialogue tags such as 'he said' or 'she said' to identify who is speaking. The Actions do that for you.

Back to the topic...

Violating chronological order is a Bad Idea. If you knock the Actions out of order the reader’s Mental Movie STOPS because the reader has to STOP READING to Re-Read that sequence and mentally rearrange the sentences in into the correct order to get the movie back.

Making the story hard for the reader to PICTURE
-- is a VERY Bad Idea. ​

Anytime the reader has to STOP to rearrange the words to FIT their mental movie, you’ve made a break. Breaks are BAD – very, very bad! A break creates a moment where the reader can STOP READING your story, and start reading something else -- and possibly never look at your work again.

A lot of writers hesitate to break up the actions between characters because written chronological action and dialogue tends to look very choppy on the page. It doesn't look neat and tidy

Neat and tidy be damned!​

Who cares how the words are arranged on the page? Once the reader has their Mental Movie rolling the reader won’t even notice the specific words. They’ll be too busy watching the scenes playing out in their mental movie to care what they're reading.

Screw aesthetics! Your first priority is keeping that reader reading. That means keeping their Mental Movie going without interruptions!

How to FIX this chronic problem:​

VISUALIZE your scenes as you write them. Play them as a movie in your head and write everything down EXACTLY as you see it. If it comes out in a pile of one short sentence after another, then add some smart-assed internal comments and/or dialogue.

Just remember to keep the character's dialogue connected to their actions.

Don't Forget: Dialogue is an Action too!

What about Literary style?​

What about it?

If you simply MUST have stylish phrasing in your fiction, save it for the descriptions. Keep it out of the Actions!

If you want the reader to SEE the actions that you are trying to portray, Chronological Order is the ONLY way to make Action Scenes crystal clear in their imaginations.

-------- Original Message -----------​

"I can't write an action/fight scene worth a crap. Mind you, I can usually imagine them, I just can't write them." ​

-- Wanna Do a Fight Scene. ​

If you can imagine it - you can write it. The easiest way is by doing it in LAYERS.

A Quick and Dirty Method:
Writing Action Scenes in Layers

Start with a List of ACTIONS
and their following REACTIONS.

Don’t Forget! ~ Actions ALWAYS go Before Reactions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
List of ACTIONS 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- IMPORTANT! Each Character gets their own paragraph. NEVER clump the separate actions of two different characters in the same paragraph or the reader will get confused as to who is doing what very quickly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

​Will lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.​​ 

 

Jack caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab.​​

 

Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. 

 

​​Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target.​ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Add DIALOGUE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

​

"You're dead meat!" Will lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.​

​

Jack caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. "I don't think so!"​​ 

 

Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!"​​ 

 

Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. "You're gonna have to do a lot better than that."​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Add EMOTION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

​

"You're dead meat!" Will bared his teeth and lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.​​

 

Jack snorted in derision and caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. He smiled. "I don't think so!" 

 

​​Startled, Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!" 

 

​​Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. He chuckled. "You're gonna have to do a lot better than that."​ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Add INTERNAL NARRATION. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Pick ONE character in that scene and add only THAT character's internal observations -- no others! (More than one POV in a scene is known as HEAD-HOPPING.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

​

"You're dead meat!" Will bared his teeth and lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.​

​

Jack snorted in derision and caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" The kid certainly had guts. Too bad he didn't have the skill to go with it. Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. He smiled. "I don't think so!"​

​

Startled, Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!"​

​

Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. He chuckled, knowing it would piss the kid off. "You're gonna have to do a lot better than that." He was hoping the kid would figure out that he was out-matched and just bolt. He didn't like killing those that didn't actually deserve to die.​

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seriously, if you can imagine it - you can write it.

Having problems imagining it?
- Watch a few MOVIES.


Morgan Hawke ☕
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