tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9469853.post8481982985050583388..comments2022-08-14T13:50:24.360-04:00Comments on Dark Erotica Writing: The Secret to Proper Paragraphing and DialogueMorgan Hawkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06263736921990480868noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9469853.post-85148104200949449762007-04-05T16:27:00.000-04:002007-04-05T16:27:00.000-04:00wrt touchy authors ...I saw an interview with a mu...wrt touchy authors ...<BR/><BR/>I saw an interview with a music legend about his return to the top of the charts in the '90s and his phenomenal music resurgence.<BR/><BR/>He related that a Disney exec, who was a huge fan of his going years back, met with him once he'd gotten his demo tape and said "The lyric is great, but the refrain could be more ..."<BR/><BR/>He had two choices, of course. He Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16417139451447345746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9469853.post-14970470347887694392007-03-17T14:59:00.000-04:002007-03-17T14:59:00.000-04:00Besides, before breaking the rules, one should lea...Besides, before breaking the rules, one should learn them :)<BR/>And if the readers want something fresh, it's not really about difficulty, it's about the story.<BR/><BR/>By the way, your gmail email kicks my emails back :(Dariahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10816279105715189601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9469853.post-42403791286718147812007-03-13T12:54:00.000-04:002007-03-13T12:54:00.000-04:00Hey Eve! -- "Thanks for this post Morgan. I know y...Hey Eve!<BR/> -- <I>"Thanks for this post Morgan. I know you've been uber busy lately, but I troll your blog religiously for these little lessons. This is a great lesson. Hope to see you at RT!"</I><BR/><BR/>I'm so glad you like my little posts!<BR/><BR/>Nope, no RT for me this year. Too damned busy with NY contracts.Morgan Hawkehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06263736921990480868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9469853.post-57117975881663492012007-03-13T12:53:00.000-04:002007-03-13T12:53:00.000-04:00Hey Daria! -- "Writers seem to abuse this rule lef...Hey Daria!<BR/> -- <I>"Writers seem to abuse this rule left and right, in published books too, but it actually makes a lot of sense :)"</I><BR/><BR/>Oddly, it seems that the more sense something makes, the more folks want to argue with it. <BR/><BR/><I>"Writing is an ARTE! Blah-blah-blah... It's supposed to be Creative! Blah-blah-blah... Telling people that there are Rules to writing stifles Morgan Hawkehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06263736921990480868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9469853.post-74349721624000580072007-03-10T15:11:00.000-05:002007-03-10T15:11:00.000-05:00Thanks for this post Morgan. I know you've been ub...Thanks for this post Morgan. I know you've been uber busy lately, but I troll your blog religiously for these little lessons. This is a great lesson. Hope to see you at RT!Eve Vaughnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13376052942369073093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9469853.post-21061089426425327582007-02-28T16:23:00.000-05:002007-02-28T16:23:00.000-05:00Writers seem to abuse this rule left and right, in...Writers seem to abuse this rule left and right, in published books too, but it actually makes a lot of sense :)Dariahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10816279105715189601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9469853.post-74150493377588190302007-02-28T03:29:00.000-05:002007-02-28T03:29:00.000-05:00Your welcome. And thank you for your willingness t...Your welcome. And thank you for your willingness to share your knowledge. It's good to have great teachers.<BR/><BR/>JasAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02491542008627930102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9469853.post-10079772839896260532007-02-27T17:05:00.000-05:002007-02-27T17:05:00.000-05:00Jas, - Thank you so much for your highly intellig...Jas, <BR/> - Thank you so much for your highly intelligent questions!Morgan Hawkehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06263736921990480868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9469853.post-73249244114018944732007-02-27T16:57:00.000-05:002007-02-27T16:57:00.000-05:00"...do you always have to put in the he watched? I...<B><I>"...do you always have to put in the he watched? It just seems a little wordy and unnecessary to me."</I></B><BR/><BR/>As this is written <I>"...her blush brightened and trailed down her neck like spilled merlot." </I>there is no indication that anyone was acting other than Becky. <BR/><BR/>I used "he watched" to <I>make</I> it crystal clear that her blush was Toby's observation -- his Morgan Hawkehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06263736921990480868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9469853.post-67633386196250200342007-02-27T15:32:00.000-05:002007-02-27T15:32:00.000-05:00Yes, I think I get it now. One more question thoug...Yes, I think I get it now. <BR/><BR/>One more question though, do you always have to put in the <I>he watched?</I> It just seems a little wordy and unnecessary to me.<BR/><BR/>Toby raised his eyebrows. “You named a stuffed animal?" To his surprise, her blush brightened and trailed down her neck like spilled merlot. Her reaction so adorable, he couldn't resist needling her some more. "I thought Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02491542008627930102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9469853.post-23223311138378500782007-02-27T01:27:00.000-05:002007-02-27T01:27:00.000-05:00“Not arguing here...I swear, I'm just trying to le...<I>“Not arguing here...I swear, I'm just trying to learn…”</I><BR/><BR/>Good ness no Jas, you’re not arguing with me! I’m just a bit on the…scrappy side. (Okay, so more than a bit.) <BR/><BR/><I>“Becky's blush isn't a chosen action (ie. she didn't blush on purpose)...”</I><BR/><BR/>Whether or not an action is impulsive or subconscious doesn’t change the fact that <B>the way that line was written<Morgan Hawkehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06263736921990480868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9469853.post-59993784525119895452007-02-26T18:05:00.000-05:002007-02-26T18:05:00.000-05:00Not arguing here...I swear, I'm just trying to lea...Not arguing here...I swear, I'm just trying to learn; and it may be that I'm just over thinking it, but Becky's blush isn't a chosen action (ie. she didn't blush on purpose) and since we seem to be in Toby's POV here, isn't the "real action" that he's watching her blush, noting it as it were, and therefore belongs in his paragraph. As opposed to, if she say reached out and slapped him, and then Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02491542008627930102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9469853.post-25615865816376083082007-02-24T17:45:00.000-05:002007-02-24T17:45:00.000-05:00Um... NO. -- Remember this? (It was in the second...Um... NO. <BR/> -- Remember this? (It was in the second paragraph.) <BR/><BR/><B>When a new character ACTS they're supposed to get a new paragraph.</B><BR/><BR/>"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised, and Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck. <B>< -- Becky is ACTING here, so Becky gets her OWN paragraph.</B><BR/><BR/>This is incorrect too:<BR/><BR/>"You Morgan Hawkehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06263736921990480868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9469853.post-6218135132280709202007-02-23T02:23:00.000-05:002007-02-23T02:23:00.000-05:00Morgan,question on this example:"You named a stuff...Morgan,<BR/><BR/>question on this example:<BR/><BR/>"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised, and Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck. < -- Two Characters acting in the same paragraph.<BR/><BR/>What if the next internals and action/dialogue are his. Like:<BR/><BR/><BR/>"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised, and Becky's blush Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02491542008627930102noreply@blogger.com